Reviews from

A Window On My World

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Existence Is Tame"
Daily 5-7-5 simplicities for April Na-Po-Wri-Mo

21 total reviews 
Comment from RodG
Excellent
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I can imagine how exasperated you do feel, Lisa, being trapped indoors when your spirit wants to go camping and hiking in the wilderness. Stanza three can definitely stand alone.
I really like this artwork and am envious of your ability to paint as well as you write. I use others' paintings to inspire many of my poems. Rod

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Thanks for your comments. I was really pleased with that last stanza, too. It makes an effective senryu.
Comment from Rmocruz
Excellent
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The nature theme you have poetically presented in 5-7-5 formatting is quite peasant. You have created colorful imagery with an effective use of alliteration. I enjoyed this well-penned biographical poem.
I love your complimenting painting.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Thanks for your encouraging comments.
reply by Rmocruz on 09-Apr-2020
    You're welcome Lisa, my pleasure.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Very nice painting, Lisa,
along with the presentation.
-Notes are appreciated, too.
-Maybe you can re-schedule
your plans at some point.
-Well written trio of poems
with different views and
meanings of nature.
-I like the use of "pine"
in verse one since it goes
with the trees.
-You show your love of
nature very well, and the
impact of this world we are in now.
-Excellent concluding line, too.
-Best wishes for success in the project.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Thanks very much for these nice comments.
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-Apr-2020
    You are very welcome, Lisa. I didn't know you were an artist.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    I'm a bit of everything - art, photography, writing, graphic design.
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-Apr-2020
    That is a lot of talent!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    I don't know about that - i just like doing it, doesn't mean it's good!
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-Apr-2020
    😊
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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Another excellent three stanza piece encapsulating the frustrations of lockdown, which seems set to go on for some time yet. I am really very lucky as I live in a remote area anyway with no close neighbours except sheep and cows.

When I first came here, 25 years ago, we used to get loads of young kiwis come in the summer, professional sheep shearers. But there's no money in wool these days except for the premium grade stuff. Our Welsh Mountain breed doesn't qualify for that so unfortunately we don't see them any more. They were a great bunch of guys.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Sounds like you live in a perfect place to ride out the current drama.
    My ex-husband worked in your area in the late 70's as a lambing shepherd and a shearer before I met him on a bus in Denmark in 1978.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Apr-2020
    We are right in the middle of lambing at the moment and the hills are alive with the sound of bleating, a lovely time of year.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    When I first arrived in NZ it was tailing time - the noise was horrendous, distressed ewes and lambs. I was a townie marrying into a rural family and had never been near sheep before. I soon learned to muck in though.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Apr-2020
    Now that is something we don't do with the Welsh Mountain breed - tailing. Unless they strart to scour. They are a clean backended breed so the vast majority can be left entire. Some of the cross bred ones need tailing, we have some Texel and Blue-faced Leicester rams, also Charolais.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    They must look cute with tails. I've only ever seen tails on sheep in the mountains in Turkey where they have fat-tailed ones with large fat-store tails. I hadn't heard of charolais sheep before, only charolais cattle, so i googled it and saw this: "When most people think of Charolais, a large white cattle beast comes to mind, but the lesser-known Charollais sheep is increasingly finding a place in the competitive New Zealand market for terminal sires to increase muscling and growth rate of the lambs."
    Apparently trials were begun in 2019 to see how they'd go in the hill country not far from where I live. Interesting.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Apr-2020
    I was the same as far as charolais sheep were concerned. This is a marginal farm part officially a hill farm and part not. I think they have had the breed here for about four years now. When I come across one of these rams I always wish him 'bon jour monsieur'
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    I hope he doesn't 'oui' on you.
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Apr-2020
    Mais non. Seulement la merde
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    hahaha... I could learn French while in captivity. I put what you wrote into a translation. Thanks for teaching me how to shit in French. I thought you were going to murder something.
    With no proximity to hearing other languages in Oz and NZ, my knowledge of others is very limited (apart from doing Latin for a couple of years, which has aided my vocabulary.)
reply by Pantygynt on 09-Apr-2020
    'Merde!' is a favourite expletive of your average Frenchman in much the same way as its English translation to English speakers. I was part of a favourite chant amongst French PoWs in WW2. 'Ou sont les Allemandes?' (Where are the Germans?) To which the reply was 'Les Allemandes sont dans la merde'. (The Germans are in the shit).

    Strange where a conversation about breeds of sheep can lead isn't it?
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I know the feeling! I have been confined for 6 weeks and I would love to break out and go to the beach and feel the wind on my face and smell the sea air. I loved your artwork Lisa, very unusual and special, a fine presentation, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    I've only had 2 weeks of it... I can totally relate to how you want to go to the seaside.
Comment from jenintorre
Excellent
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I can really identify with this poem but we all have to put our lives on hold at the moment. Excellent artwork and presentation. Let's just hope that things will return to normal eventually. Take care. Jen.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Thanks for reviewing. Stay safe and well!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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I wonder if you meant to have a double meaning for 'pine' so close to 'forested valleys.' If so, it was clever. Great 's' alliteration in strict city streets. I had to go for a long walk today, too, and spent most of it examining everyone's landscaping, looking for what was growing best. Nice share.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Yes I did - thanks for being aware to it, and for your other comments.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Loved your last stanza. You describe your spiritual predicament of being a nature and outdoorsy person stuck inside and without a cat! But so glad that you can share your puns and poetry here! Hugs!

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    You are right - that is my main spiritual connection. Luckily, we can still walk in our local Botanic Garden, but that is tame too!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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I feel your pain in this lament. I saw the footnotes--your hiking trip was cancelled--and you don't even have a cat to keep you company. Must you stay indoors--can't even walk sparsely attended trails?

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    We have to stay in our immediate neighbourhood, only allowed out for a walk, go to supermarket, or medical centre. Luckily i have our city Botanical Garden nearby, also a smaller park. My own backyard is a jungle of greenery - I don't like gardening, it's survival of the fittest.
Comment from kahpot
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Exceptional, not very often short works are awarded six from me, but this compilation of our isolation deserves every one, may these times soon return, thank you for showing us what we still have****kahpot

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
    Thank you so much for your appreciative and appreciated review.