A Mother's Nightmare
The Hard Truth19 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Your story it's a constant reminder that some kids are just running in the wrong circles and guilty or not they gets in the same water wit the bad guys. You story is very emotional:""He's running out the back!" the shout comes from outside. "Drop the gun! Don't..."
My world goes silent.
The officer runs.
I drop to my knees. I can't hear. I can't see. I can't breathe. I...just can't..." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
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Your story it's a constant reminder that some kids are just running in the wrong circles and guilty or not they gets in the same water wit the bad guys. You story is very emotional:""He's running out the back!" the shout comes from outside. "Drop the gun! Don't..."
My world goes silent.
The officer runs.
I drop to my knees. I can't hear. I can't see. I can't breathe. I...just can't..." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
Comment from Dawn Munro
Typo -- "...I'll only get lie(d) to..."
This is excellent -- the plot is realistic -- how easily a slip of the tongue can happen. She didn't mean to give away the fact that the one police are looking for is a member of her household...
Good luck!
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Typo -- "...I'll only get lie(d) to..."
This is excellent -- the plot is realistic -- how easily a slip of the tongue can happen. She didn't mean to give away the fact that the one police are looking for is a member of her household...
Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great entry for the Flash Fiction writing prompt. I was glued to it from the beginning to the end. I hope this story does well in the contest. Good luck!
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This is a great entry for the Flash Fiction writing prompt. I was glued to it from the beginning to the end. I hope this story does well in the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry is well-written. Your words flow smoothly with great imagery. I like the thoughts of the mother about her son. Where did he learn to act like he did? At home! Mom gave the police woman the answer when she said "No he . . " because the police woman just said "youth" but mom said "he' indicating that her son had come home. The ending is poignant as more memories surface for mom and what she believes has happened to her son.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
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Your contest entry is well-written. Your words flow smoothly with great imagery. I like the thoughts of the mother about her son. Where did he learn to act like he did? At home! Mom gave the police woman the answer when she said "No he . . " because the police woman just said "youth" but mom said "he' indicating that her son had come home. The ending is poignant as more memories surface for mom and what she believes has happened to her son.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an interesting entry for the Flash Fiction Contest. It flow well, with a good story line, but plenty of suspense - what had the son actually been up to that evening? And how did the police latch onto him so quickly?
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This is an interesting entry for the Flash Fiction Contest. It flow well, with a good story line, but plenty of suspense - what had the son actually been up to that evening? And how did the police latch onto him so quickly?
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from Ben B.
It's terrifying how real this one felt. The things this poor woman is going through has to be hard. Question is what exactly did her husband and son do to deserve this?
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It's terrifying how real this one felt. The things this poor woman is going through has to be hard. Question is what exactly did her husband and son do to deserve this?
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Chilling--masterfully narrated--characters well-fleshed out--irresponsible son in absentia--mother angry and worried sick. Well done--you may have a winner. Cheers. LIZ
Congrats on your prize--not suprised!
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Chilling--masterfully narrated--characters well-fleshed out--irresponsible son in absentia--mother angry and worried sick. Well done--you may have a winner. Cheers. LIZ
Congrats on your prize--not suprised!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from Earl Corp
Ironically I'm watching Chicago PD while I read this. It provides a keen insight what goes through someone's mind as they interact with the police. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Ironically I'm watching Chicago PD while I read this. It provides a keen insight what goes through someone's mind as they interact with the police. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from Leigha Winfrey
I don't know what to say other than this is the most realistically real and vivid story that I have read. It is perfect and if it is true I am very sorry, may I ask you what happened? It's perfectly understandable if you don't want to discuss it. Awesome writing.
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I don't know what to say other than this is the most realistically real and vivid story that I have read. It is perfect and if it is true I am very sorry, may I ask you what happened? It's perfectly understandable if you don't want to discuss it. Awesome writing.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
