An indication of life
The future, could be the past23 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This is the best entry I have read in this contest so far. It's well written and believable (unfortunately!)
The setting is all described really well and the ending was a clever surprise. I enjoyed everything about this. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
  |
Dear Mystery Writer,
This is the best entry I have read in this contest so far. It's well written and believable (unfortunately!)
The setting is all described really well and the ending was a clever surprise. I enjoyed everything about this. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
-
Thanks robyn. Great review. The contest is now open for voting, you can vote if you haven't alreaddy.
Comment from estory
I liked this. I thought the dialogue was very realistic and seemed right out of Houston's mission control back in the sixties and seventies. It also had a very eerie air to it, something that reminded me of Space Odyssey. You get that hint early on that they might be talking about Earth. The scientific measured behavior also removes some of the emotion and gives it perspective. When they find the body it is a shock, and the mummified bodies are also eerie, floating in the cabin of the ship. The vials give a flicker of hope for life to continue on. A cautionary tale of what can happen if society goes off the deep end. Cuts close to home. estory
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
|
I liked this. I thought the dialogue was very realistic and seemed right out of Houston's mission control back in the sixties and seventies. It also had a very eerie air to it, something that reminded me of Space Odyssey. You get that hint early on that they might be talking about Earth. The scientific measured behavior also removes some of the emotion and gives it perspective. When they find the body it is a shock, and the mummified bodies are also eerie, floating in the cabin of the ship. The vials give a flicker of hope for life to continue on. A cautionary tale of what can happen if society goes off the deep end. Cuts close to home. estory
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
-
Thanks estory. I was worried, a few readers didn't understand that the planet below was us! Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Wabigoon
Close to a six. interesting entries in this contest. It doesn't quite...compute is my problem. I know the kind of "jolt" you are trying to create at the end here and this doesn't quite do it. I am not sure how it needs to be changed to get that desired effect, if at all. Problem may be me.
Thanks, I enjoyed the story.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
|
Close to a six. interesting entries in this contest. It doesn't quite...compute is my problem. I know the kind of "jolt" you are trying to create at the end here and this doesn't quite do it. I am not sure how it needs to be changed to get that desired effect, if at all. Problem may be me.
Thanks, I enjoyed the story.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
-
Its the last remains of our species in that vial. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This futuristic story, Indication of Life, tells a tale of the remnants of a world ended by war. Ironically, the life left to go on has the awesome names of what can be a new world beginning.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
|
This futuristic story, Indication of Life, tells a tale of the remnants of a world ended by war. Ironically, the life left to go on has the awesome names of what can be a new world beginning.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
-
Thanks Bill. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow. I didn't expect that ending. This is a well written and enjoyable short story. I like how you grabbed my interest immediately and would not let go. As I said, great ending. An enjoyable read!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
|
Wow. I didn't expect that ending. This is a well written and enjoyable short story. I like how you grabbed my interest immediately and would not let go. As I said, great ending. An enjoyable read!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
-
Thank you, so glad you liked it.
Comment from pome lover
this is a neat story of the future. sounds very technically authentic, too. That was a surprise ending and symbolic, too, for a new beginning.
Clever. I thought maybe it was going to be a steven spielberg type ending- one vial held covid and one the vaccine but it didn't say which was which,
but I liked your ending better! Hope is always good.
pome lover
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
|
this is a neat story of the future. sounds very technically authentic, too. That was a surprise ending and symbolic, too, for a new beginning.
Clever. I thought maybe it was going to be a steven spielberg type ending- one vial held covid and one the vaccine but it didn't say which was which,
but I liked your ending better! Hope is always good.
pome lover
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
-
Thank you pome lover. So glad you liked it.
Comment from RShipp
What a clever turn of events you have perpetrated on this story. I enjoyed it!
I wish I knew what these explorers 'looked like'. But then, maybe that is some of the magic from your story? I sensed they were human... but I think that is what we do until we are told otherwise.
Best of luck in the The Future contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
|
What a clever turn of events you have perpetrated on this story. I enjoyed it!
I wish I knew what these explorers 'looked like'. But then, maybe that is some of the magic from your story? I sensed they were human... but I think that is what we do until we are told otherwise.
Best of luck in the The Future contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
-
You are so right, they are advanced of course, but more importantly, that they believe in universal humanity. That's everything we want from them. Thank you for you're excellent review.
Comment from elchupakabra
Excellent work on this piece, I like the tie in at the end with the vials named Adam and Eve, the one thing that struck me is Cylus seems like a weird name, I think the more traditional Cyrus might work better. Great work nonetheless, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020
|
Excellent work on this piece, I like the tie in at the end with the vials named Adam and Eve, the one thing that struck me is Cylus seems like a weird name, I think the more traditional Cyrus might work better. Great work nonetheless, thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020
-
Many Thanks. My thinking was, I didn't want to use names we use, so its easier for the reader to accept them as the aliens all along.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, amazing story, I think you have a winner here, a new version of the genesis from outer space combined with modern term such as cell stems from a male and female body kept in a vial: "Written on the vial's tags were the alien letters, ADAM, and EVE" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
Wow, amazing story, I think you have a winner here, a new version of the genesis from outer space combined with modern term such as cell stems from a male and female body kept in a vial: "Written on the vial's tags were the alien letters, ADAM, and EVE" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Many thanks Iza. So glad you liked it. Yes, its Genesis revisited.
Comment from equestrik
Well, this is kind of eerie but, I tend to hold onto a belief in possibilities so--even the realist in me attempts to leave room for other views. Good and interesting write with a good photo to go with it.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
|
Well, this is kind of eerie but, I tend to hold onto a belief in possibilities so--even the realist in me attempts to leave room for other views. Good and interesting write with a good photo to go with it.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2020
-
Many thanks. Glad you liked it. The invitro info, though, is becoming a reality. Scary.