Reviews from

Betrayal

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Betrayal Chapter 43"
In the title.

37 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A chapter 43 in your book Betrayal
Betrayal Chapter
sandramitchell, Again I enjoyed reading this chapter 43. You know how to make me smile such as when 'Great! That cow deserved everything she got!' Colin walked across to his mother, who stood up so they could embrace each other. 'It's finally over! I'd love to see Grant's face when he realises I'm not going to prison

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Aw, thank you so much, Gert! I'm so pleased you liked this part. Colin is in for a big shock in the next part, so is his mother. Thank you so much for the sixth gold star, that was so very kind of you. Warm hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by Gert sherwood on 02-Aug-2021
    You are most welcome sandramitchell---
    I will be waiting for your next chapter.
    Gert
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Okay, I guess I can take Lorna off my suspect list now that the bugging in the office has been discovered.

'I've still got the wasp set-up in the car. I never dismantled it, just in case we needed it again. [Ah-ha! You told me it would make its appearance again.]

Straightening his shoulders, he pushed them open and smiled.
'Good afternoon, Mother, Colin....' [Perfect! Perfect!]

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you so very much for this amazing review, Jay, and for that golden sixth star. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Yes, Lorna is innocent, lol. Yes, the wasp was left there deliberately, and for good reason. It worked well for this part. I'm glad you liked it. I'm even happier that you liked the ending. Thank you dear friend. Warm hugs. Sandra. xxx
Comment from robyn corum
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sandra,

Love it, love it, love it! I'm so happy Grant has placed himself front and center to see the whole beautiful show. hahahaha I can't imagine a greater or better-deserved fall. Love it!

A couple of notes, if you'll permit:
1.) The very idea that he would blame himself was just (too) much for her.

2.) Oh, Mr (Blake), I've been that scared,

And excellent chapter - and one of your best!

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you for pointing out my nits, Robyn, I've given them a good spray and they've been corrected! lol.
    What a lovely review! You've put a humongous smile on my face, I'm delighted you enjoyed this part, and thank you for awarding it the shiny sixth gold star, coming from you, that means such a lot. Thank you, dear friend. Warmest hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such a sensitive portrayal of the relationship between employer and employee in this conversation. You have done much to enhance the character of Grant in this dialogue, and your depiction of Gladys is perfection itself.
I imagine the forthcoming meeting with Marilyn and Colin will be quite a contrast! LOL

Oh, Mr Blak e, I've been that scared, I don't know what to say!' [detached e]

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    What a lovely review, Tony! I'm so pleased you liked the way I handled Gladys and Grant's meeting. Yes, the next part won't be quite so warm and friendly, lol. Thank you, dear friend, for this lovely review and for the golden sixth star. I really have appreciated all you've written her. I've sorted that detached 'e', thank you for that, too! Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is well written, Sandra. I like how the ieces are all fitting together. You did a grat job with the part about the bug and suspisions of Lorna. You give readers much insight to Grant, too. Yes, his mother and Colin are in for a rude awakening. Rapier is, too. I believe the retirement party for Gladys will come with a big announcement from Grantaa a wedding announcement between him and Tania.
Respectfully, Jan

May I suggest ~
Grant pulled up outside a neat terraced house,(no comma) and sat for a moment(,) remembering the last time he'd visited Gladys at home after learning of her sister's road accident.

'I've been expecting you, Mr Blake.' She opened the door wider. 'Won't you come in?' ( should the single quotes be double?)

'Please, Mr Blake, do sit down. I s'pose the police will be here soon?' Gladys sat down, her expression and body language now giving the picture of total acceptance. 'I'm so sorry, Mr Blake, I had no choice. If 'twere just me, I'd've told that woman to do her worst, I'd not do what she demanded. But it was my sister...' She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed her eyes. (single or double quotes in this conversation?)

The gut feeling he'd had was now proving to be worse than he'd thought. 'Gladys, what did that woman look like?' (single/double quotes ?) [I'm confused over the use of single quotes throughout.

Now the tears were streaming, Gladys blew her nose, and[delete and] then, once she started talking, all her fear, stress and anger came away.

'Gladys, look at me. Open your eyes ... that's it. What you did was for your sister, I completely understand that. It's what anyone would have done; hell, I would have done it, for crying out loud! There is only one person who will be in trouble for this, and [ it's that woman ] that is that woman.

Oh, Mr Blak e, [ Blake ] I've been that scared, I don't know what to say!'


When Grant left, he had some satisfaction that at least one mystery had been solved(,) and Gladys was able to relax.

*****
'It's no more than she deserves for what she'd done,'[ add space here ]Lorna told him.



Grant's eyes lit up at that [ thought ].
*****






 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you for another of your lovely reviews, Jan, and the help in finding my nits! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx

    I don't know why it is, but the UK use single quotes for speach and double for internal quotes. Whereas the US do the opposite. I remember many years ago we did the same as you, so why it changed, I don't know. If you read Pantygynt, you'll see his is the same as mine.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Now, you've got me really guessing what's going on. I mean, it does sound like Grant's mother actually thinks Tania is dead. Of course, has she been killed and Grant just doesn't know it yet? LOL. Surely not. But you sure have me wondering. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Yes she does, Max has told her he's done the deed now he wants the rest of his money. That was to help the police so he could get his wish to be interred in Manchester. Tania is with Monica and the team in Grant's London apartment. Now Grant can sort out his mother and half-brother! Thank you, my dear friend, for reading this part. Warm hugs, Sandra. xxx
Comment from blondie560
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nice cliffhanger Sandra! I hate to see a week speed by, but I want to know what is next! One little typo: Mr Blak e. This is where Gladys is speaking. I hope you write more about Colin and his mother getting their just desserts. Like their trial maybe? They'll turn against each other I'm sure!
Have a lovely week. I have an interview you did that I haven't listened to yet. I'm looking forward to it!
Hugs to you:) Sally

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you so much, Sally, for another of your wonderful reviews and that shiny golden sixth star. I've sorted out that 'e' that was trying to escape! Lol. thanks for pointing it out to me.

    I had mentioned there would only be two more parts, but I sort of got that a bit wrong!! Lol. There is quite a bit coming up that will need to be told in detail, not rushed through. Thanks, my dear friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx

    It's not my voice in the interview, Tom used an American lady's voice. But the words are mine. I was thrilled that he used mine and gave my books a plug. :)) Tell me what you think of it. xxx
Comment from aryr
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a wonderful continuation chapter, Sandra. Poor Gladys, having to live not only to what she had done but has well as fearing that her sister, Janet would be ousted from the nursing home. I love the plan that Grant has for her, she is truly deserving. It was wonderful that Grant and Reg were able to listen into Rapier's call to Marilyn. Neither he, Marilyn nor Colin know the truth behind the call. Grant is about to see the downfallen faces of his mother and half-brother. Great job and very much enjoyed. Blessings, hugs and smiles.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you so much, Alie, for this fabulous review. I'm delighted you enjoyed reading it. I wanted to get over to the readers Grant's compassionate side, and it seems to have worked, I'm glad you thought so, too. Warm hugs, my friend. :))Sandra xxx
reply by aryr on 02-Aug-2021
    You are most welcome, Sandra. That was a good idea. Blessings, hugs and smiles.
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I had we were going to get to see the fun this time but it seems I have to wait another week for the ungodly to receive their just deserts. Never mind we can take it.

In your description line: 'Grant visit's Gladys' => What's that apostrophe doing there?










 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Yes you do! Lol. I was going to finish this book with this part and one more, but it's definitely not going to happen. Next part has a lot in it that everyone has been waiting for. I've just noticed the time, I'll be chatting to you in 45 minutes. Thanks so much for the shiny, sixth star, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-You didn't disappoint with
this chapter, Sandra.
-It was nice to meet Gladys,
although sad to know she
had been through so much,
and being her age with her
sister in a nursing home was
very emotional, but you wrote it well.
-Grant was so understanding, and
she managed to calm down and
tell him what had happened.
-What a wonderful gesture that
her pension will take care of her,
and then she'll have a party, as well.
-Good transition until Grant gets
to his mother's house.
-Very good description of how
opulent it was, but it was in
contrast to the conversation
between Marilyn and her son.
-After Grant thought about Tania,
and the life he would have with her,
it was time to face his mother and Colin.
-I can't wait to see the reaction of their
faces in the next chapter.
-This one set the stage very well,
and you did a great job letting
us know a little more about Gladys!
-Well done, my friend.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
    Thank you, Pam! I'm so pleased you liked this part, especially the part with Gladys and Grant. Now to see how the conversation will go between Grant and his mother and Colin! I'm really working hard on that part. Thank you so much for the golden sixth star, my friend, and this wonderful, detailed review. Sending much love and warm hugs. :)) Sandra xxxx
reply by Pam (respa) on 02-Aug-2021
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. You are doing a good job with the story; however, I don't envy you trying to write Colin, his mother, and Grant all at the same time. Maybe it is your cup of tea, though😊😊