The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Return Chapter 4"Erotic Turmoil
37 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I think I know the answer, but I'm never going to jump to any conclusion with you at the controls. I'll just wait and read along next time to see where you take us. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Well, I think I know the answer, but I'm never going to jump to any conclusion with you at the controls. I'll just wait and read along next time to see where you take us. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Hmm, I wonder what you think the answer is, and if you'd be right? You can tell me when you read the next part. :))
Thank you so much for this lovely review, Ric. I'm glad you're still enjoying this story. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from Jay Squires
Satisfied she'd come up with a good enough reason not to read any more, [I reckon I'm too much an eavesdropper. I couldn't have stopped myself from reading. If it's not locked with a little key, I assume the diarist wanted it read.]
Oh, Bessie, Bessie, Bessie ... The mysteries you hold locked behind that "Hmm"! You know something and you're not talking. Not at least until next week!
This is indeed the one to get my six this week.
Jay
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Satisfied she'd come up with a good enough reason not to read any more, [I reckon I'm too much an eavesdropper. I couldn't have stopped myself from reading. If it's not locked with a little key, I assume the diarist wanted it read.]
Oh, Bessie, Bessie, Bessie ... The mysteries you hold locked behind that "Hmm"! You know something and you're not talking. Not at least until next week!
This is indeed the one to get my six this week.
Jay
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Thank you so very much, dear Jay, for another of your lovely reviews, and the award of the sixth star. I really appreciate both. I love the reference to the 'eavesdropper' Lol. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Bessie will open up more in the next part. :))
Wam hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from JudyE
Oh no! Another of those authors who leave us hanging, waiting for the next instalment. :)
I picked up a few points for your consideration but generally I thought it was well-written.
The following morning Margot was brought rudely out of a deep sleep by the sound of a noisy cock crowing it's head off - only use it's if you're abbreviating 'it is'. Otherwise, the spelling is its.
Her first thought was to cover her head with her pillow in the hope it would muffle the sound, but then remembered Bessie would be here at eight-thirty. - 'but then she remembered...' would be better and maybe 'Bessie would arrive'.
Now that mystery was solved to her liking, Margot stood up and went over to the coffee-pot
and refilled her cup. - replace first use of 'and' with a comma.
Lets us read the next page.' - apostrophe needed in 'lets' - let's
With best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Oh no! Another of those authors who leave us hanging, waiting for the next instalment. :)
I picked up a few points for your consideration but generally I thought it was well-written.
The following morning Margot was brought rudely out of a deep sleep by the sound of a noisy cock crowing it's head off - only use it's if you're abbreviating 'it is'. Otherwise, the spelling is its.
Her first thought was to cover her head with her pillow in the hope it would muffle the sound, but then remembered Bessie would be here at eight-thirty. - 'but then she remembered...' would be better and maybe 'Bessie would arrive'.
Now that mystery was solved to her liking, Margot stood up and went over to the coffee-pot
and refilled her cup. - replace first use of 'and' with a comma.
Lets us read the next page.' - apostrophe needed in 'lets' - let's
With best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for another of your very helpful review, Judy. I've sorted them out and it reads so much better. Those apostrophes came from no where! Lol. I'm so glad you are enjoying my story. Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. It showed the doubt in Margot's mind. It also showed Bessie's eagerness to be helpful with the reading of the diary. It did indeed belong to Meg Crawley. What had happened between Meg and Miles (if that was her ghostly lovers name), I love how you can always end a chapter with a question? Very well done, very much enjoyed. A great sense of mystery! Blessings, hugs n smiles!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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This was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. It showed the doubt in Margot's mind. It also showed Bessie's eagerness to be helpful with the reading of the diary. It did indeed belong to Meg Crawley. What had happened between Meg and Miles (if that was her ghostly lovers name), I love how you can always end a chapter with a question? Very well done, very much enjoyed. A great sense of mystery! Blessings, hugs n smiles!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much, Alie, I really happy you are enjoying this story. More answers in the next part. Your review has brought a big smile to my face. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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You are so very welcome, Sandra. I really enjoy the story. Hugs n smiles.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Oh my, the plot thickens. How did Meg die and what happened to Miles? I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next. You have done an excellent job as usual. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Oh my, the plot thickens. How did Meg die and what happened to Miles? I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next. You have done an excellent job as usual. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
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Thank you so very much for another lovely review, Shirley, and for the wonderful sixth star award. You are so nice. You've given me some great questions. Now we have to see if Bessie knows anything. Thanks again, my friend. Have a lovely week! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I never knew a diary could be so interesting. This story sure brings the thrills to surface; a diary, a name that is familiar, and dates that coincide with one another.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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I never knew a diary could be so interesting. This story sure brings the thrills to surface; a diary, a name that is familiar, and dates that coincide with one another.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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I've often wished I'd kept a diary, too late now. Thank you again, my friend for another lovely review. You're up to date now! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Did Miles die? Hmm, I can't wait until we get more. Bess knows a lot more than she's saying.
Only then did she make her coffee, and go and sit at the table. (I would omit 'and go and omit the comma. You can simply say 'and sit at the table.')
Margot waited until she'd finished her toast, and Bessie was sitting at the table with her coffee, before she replied.
Bessie gave her a quizzical look, so Margot carried on.
'Apparently, she died a long time ago, one hundred and thirty-five years ago, to be precise. I'd quite understand if you don't. It's just, well you seem to know a lot about the history of this house, which led me to wonder...' She let the sentence hang. (same above, comma after on and move dialogue up)
'I would very much like to pick your brains about the history of this house, and its previous owners, if you wouldn't mind?' (put a comma after replied and go straight into dialogue, no space.)
Margot looked at Bessie again, then continued. 'Well, he's really ... romantic, (comma after 'continued')
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Did Miles die? Hmm, I can't wait until we get more. Bess knows a lot more than she's saying.
Only then did she make her coffee, and go and sit at the table. (I would omit 'and go and omit the comma. You can simply say 'and sit at the table.')
Margot waited until she'd finished her toast, and Bessie was sitting at the table with her coffee, before she replied.
Bessie gave her a quizzical look, so Margot carried on.
'Apparently, she died a long time ago, one hundred and thirty-five years ago, to be precise. I'd quite understand if you don't. It's just, well you seem to know a lot about the history of this house, which led me to wonder...' She let the sentence hang. (same above, comma after on and move dialogue up)
'I would very much like to pick your brains about the history of this house, and its previous owners, if you wouldn't mind?' (put a comma after replied and go straight into dialogue, no space.)
Margot looked at Bessie again, then continued. 'Well, he's really ... romantic, (comma after 'continued')
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much, Barbara, not only for the wonderful review, those shiny six stars, but for the edits you've done for me as well!! I really appreciate them all. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my story. Thanks, my friend.:)) Sandra
Comment from damommy
Ahhh, now the thick plottens. Meg never married Miles, and therein lies the mystery. Did he leave her standing at the altar? Did he die? Is Margot Meg reincarnated? It seems Miles thinks so. So many questions, but I will eagerly wait for the answers.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Ahhh, now the thick plottens. Meg never married Miles, and therein lies the mystery. Did he leave her standing at the altar? Did he die? Is Margot Meg reincarnated? It seems Miles thinks so. So many questions, but I will eagerly wait for the answers.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Thank you so very much, my dear SATP! They are excellent questions, I wonder what the answers are!!!! Lol. Thank you for that wonderful review, and the sixth star, my dearest sister. You are wonderful. I'm around on Wednesday, if you are? Chat soon. Love and hugs Sandra xx
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Sounds good. See you Wednesday.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've done a great job of moving this story along, Sandra. A few bits are falling into place, but there is obviously so much more to this mystery. What does Bessie know? I read your explanation about Bessie's accent, but I just can't get used to it. What is Hampshire Hog?
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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You've done a great job of moving this story along, Sandra. A few bits are falling into place, but there is obviously so much more to this mystery. What does Bessie know? I read your explanation about Bessie's accent, but I just can't get used to it. What is Hampshire Hog?
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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We have such silly names for our counties, Judy. I was born in Suffolk, and we are called the 'tractor boys' just because it's a farming area. It doesn't matter that I'm a woman. We have a very sing-song accent. I've lost mine now because I've moved around quite a lot.
I didn't know why they are called Hampshire Hogs, so checked it out. This is what I learned.
People of Hampshire have had the pleasure of being referred to as 'Hampshire Hogs', from the late 18th century. Hampshire being the home for hundreds of years of wild boar... Somehow that name stuck for the people.
They are real country people, and have this unique accent. Some counties in the North of England have very strong accents that I can't understand at all, and we are all English! I'll try to lesson it if it's a problem. I'm used to listening to the people here, so I don't think about it.
I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. There will be quite a revelation coming up. Have a lovely week, my friend. :)) Sandra
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Thanks for the explanation, Sandra. I think it bothered me because it sounds like the perceived dialect of poor blacks in the US. I'll have to get that image out of my mind.
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That's the problem, we all have our differnt dialects and associate them with those we know. My Hampshire Hog friends, are far from poor, though. I'm glad you mentioned it, Judy, it helps to know these things. I'll have a rough idea now of what the black people in your country sound like. Warm hugs, my friend.
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You're welcome. FYI, I'm Canadian but have seen enough American TV to know how they're portrayed. :)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
No doubt Bessie knows something and she is holding off telling
Margot what it is. It is clear to me that ghost has come back to claim his lost love, not knowing she has passed on as well. They need to be united don't they. Well done. Nancy:)
I hope I can stay with you on this Sandra. This morning I have 31 messages and my eyes are really hurting after reading only a few.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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No doubt Bessie knows something and she is holding off telling
Margot what it is. It is clear to me that ghost has come back to claim his lost love, not knowing she has passed on as well. They need to be united don't they. Well done. Nancy:)
I hope I can stay with you on this Sandra. This morning I have 31 messages and my eyes are really hurting after reading only a few.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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My dear Nancy, you can only do what your eyes allow. I completely understand that. I'm just thankful for the time you can give to me. I love you lots, my friend, and thank you so much for reading my work. The sixth star is a bonus, and I really appreciate it. Just take it easy. Your eyes are much more important. Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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I go looking for the books I am following first and then do what I can. xxx Nancy:)
