The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Return Chapter 14"Erotic Turmoil
31 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Excellent chapter, Sandra.
-You do a great job with the merging of Meg and Margot.
-Bessie is such a comfort to Margot, and helps her along at her pace.
-I bet you had fun trying to work out how she was going to merge with Meg!
-I think by showing how tired she kept saying she was, it indicated she was going to become Meg very soon. A nice touch with that.
-I like her attitude with the solicitor, too: "Margot wondered if his face would split in two if he attempted to smile."
-I thought it was interesting when the solicitor was "taking notes" and then was doodling!
-The ending is priceless. I love it when the "bad guys" start to get their comeuppance!!! Can't wait for the next part.
-Very well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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-Excellent chapter, Sandra.
-You do a great job with the merging of Meg and Margot.
-Bessie is such a comfort to Margot, and helps her along at her pace.
-I bet you had fun trying to work out how she was going to merge with Meg!
-I think by showing how tired she kept saying she was, it indicated she was going to become Meg very soon. A nice touch with that.
-I like her attitude with the solicitor, too: "Margot wondered if his face would split in two if he attempted to smile."
-I thought it was interesting when the solicitor was "taking notes" and then was doodling!
-The ending is priceless. I love it when the "bad guys" start to get their comeuppance!!! Can't wait for the next part.
-Very well done, my friend.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Pam. The merging was written, deleted, written, deleted, about five times!! Lol. I was remembering 'Quantum Leap' and how he kept leaping in and out of people. I often wondered how the person he'd taken over carried on when he'd left the person's body. Did they know? So I added that bit about the memory as well. It answered my own question! Lol. I'm delighted you enjoyed the ending, everyone was moaning about that, lol. Now to see what frightened him. Sun fun, isn't it? Thank you for that golden sixth star, my friend. Sending a humongous hug. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. I can imagine it took some doing to get that sorted out! I remember that show, but I don't know if I watched it a lot. Yes, it is such fun; you never know who will turn up!!!!! Hugs back to you, too!
Comment from Annette R.
Bessie and Meg very imaginative and mysterious. I love a mystery. There seems to be something missing from this sentence: Don't you think I would have done _____ had I been able? Eyes terror-stricken great way to end leaving the reader waiting for more.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Bessie and Meg very imaginative and mysterious. I love a mystery. There seems to be something missing from this sentence: Don't you think I would have done _____ had I been able? Eyes terror-stricken great way to end leaving the reader waiting for more.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Hi Annette, thank you so much for your lovely review. I really appreciated it. No, there wasn't a missing word, but because one over reviewer mentioned it, I've changed it a bit to read this way:
....there was nothing I could have done to stop his gambling; don?t you think I would have done so had I been able?...
Thank you again, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
What is it? What did he see? Did Bessie suddenly appear or was it Meg's fathers image. Something has scared him, I can hardly wait to find out what it was! Good cliff hanger, Sandra. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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What is it? What did he see? Did Bessie suddenly appear or was it Meg's fathers image. Something has scared him, I can hardly wait to find out what it was! Good cliff hanger, Sandra. Nancy:)
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you, dear Nancy. Everyone wants to know what's scared that creep of a solicitor, but I'm not telling!! LOL. Thank you for that golden star, my friend. I really appreciate that you are still managing to read my work. And everyone elses, you're doing well, dear friend. Love and hugs. Sandra. xxxx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hi, Sandra. I simply can't say enough! This is fantastic writing. I love the way you transitioned Margot into Meg's body. Now I have to wonder what he saw that was so terrifying. Well done my friend.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Hi, Sandra. I simply can't say enough! This is fantastic writing. I love the way you transitioned Margot into Meg's body. Now I have to wonder what he saw that was so terrifying. Well done my friend.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, John, I always enjoy reading your reviews. Next chapter will be fun!! Lol. Warm hugs my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from country ranch writer
In writing practice makes perfect
. Good job. They all knew he was a gamble but did nothing to discourage his gambling ending up losing everything he worked for.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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In writing practice makes perfect
. Good job. They all knew he was a gamble but did nothing to discourage his gambling ending up losing everything he worked for.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your lovely review, my friend. Unfortunately, he wasn't a gambler, and the solicitor knew it, but he lied to save his reputation after Lord Crawley shot himself. The truth will come out, Margot will make sure of it. Thanks again. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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Comment from barbara.wilkey
What did he see? You left us with a wonderful hook that will ensure we return. I would've any way. Thank you for sharing and I enjoyed reading.
Margot looked down at her gloved hands before giving an answer. (I think Margot studied her gloved... is a stronger sentence. I've been told to stay away from 'looked' if possible.)
He looked up and nodded towards his doorman who turned and hurried away. (you could leave out 'looked up and' and wouldn't change the meaning at all)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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What did he see? You left us with a wonderful hook that will ensure we return. I would've any way. Thank you for sharing and I enjoyed reading.
Margot looked down at her gloved hands before giving an answer. (I think Margot studied her gloved... is a stronger sentence. I've been told to stay away from 'looked' if possible.)
He looked up and nodded towards his doorman who turned and hurried away. (you could leave out 'looked up and' and wouldn't change the meaning at all)
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much for those sugestions, Barbara, I changed both. :))
And a big thank you for the golden star and fabulous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the ending. Lol. :)) Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a story and I love it. Full of action and mystery. I didn't see any mistakes. You always do a wonderful job with your writing. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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What a story and I love it. Full of action and mystery. I didn't see any mistakes. You always do a wonderful job with your writing. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Shirley, for this lovely review, and all the stars!!! I'm delighted you are still enjoying my book. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
I've just bought Princess Adele's Dragon. I'm just finishing reading another witch trilogy and then I'll read yours. I'm so looking forward to it. xxxxx
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I think chapter four is in there twice and I'm doing a major edit on it. I didn't realize it had so many problems. I'm sorry. I was about to write to you and ask if you want me to send a PDF copy after the revision, but it's too late. You will be able to get the story anyway. Shirley
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Good Morning Sandra. I want to let you know that I updated Princess Adele's Dragon. I think Amazon automatically sends you a message when it is up and running. Be sure and download it. As I said yesterday I didn't know the first one was so messed up. Have a great day. Shirley
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Okay, I'll get rid of the one I have, I hadn't started it yet, I'm still on the last book in the other witch and fairy stories, it's the child in me!! Lol.
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Okay, I'll get rid of the one I have, I hadn't started it yet, I'm still on the last book in the other witch and fairy stories, it's the child in me!! Lol.
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That's all right, I've never outgrown Kings, Queens and Princesses.
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I've got the new copy. It was no problem. Kings, Queens and Princesses? What about the Prince? Lol xxx
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On one of the first pages does it show 3rd revision?
Comment from Pantygynt
As usual we are going to have to wait another week before we find out what the man has seen that so terrifies him.
The earlier part of this chapter prepares us very well for the willing suspension of disbelief we need and we accept it all quite willingly when it comes. An excellent chapter that had me enthralled throughout.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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As usual we are going to have to wait another week before we find out what the man has seen that so terrifies him.
The earlier part of this chapter prepares us very well for the willing suspension of disbelief we need and we accept it all quite willingly when it comes. An excellent chapter that had me enthralled throughout.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Aw, thank you, Jim! What a lovely review, I'm dead chuffed! Now the stage is set for the investigation and perhaps something else??? Thank you for that sixth star, my friend, I really appreciated it. Love and hugs, Sandra. xxx
Comment from damommy
What?! What did he see??? Thanks a lot. Now, I have to wait a week to find out. You have a cruel streak in you, dear sister. hahahahaha. I hope she pins his ears to the wall, and everyone finds out what a crook he is.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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What?! What did he see??? Thanks a lot. Now, I have to wait a week to find out. You have a cruel streak in you, dear sister. hahahahaha. I hope she pins his ears to the wall, and everyone finds out what a crook he is.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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LOL, I just love it when a plan comes together!!! (the, A Team)
Thank you so much, my dear sister, for this lovely, fun review. I needed a place to stop, and that seemed to be the best place. Glad you agree!! Lol. Sending a big hug for the six stars, you're just the best!! Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
When you're ready for a chat, you can just call me. Love you loads. xxx
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a really interesting chapter, Sandra. I was concerned it would get too confusing with both Meg and Margot together, but you did a good job of creating the amalgamation of the two. What happens next is a mystery. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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This is a really interesting chapter, Sandra. I was concerned it would get too confusing with both Meg and Margot together, but you did a good job of creating the amalgamation of the two. What happens next is a mystery. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Judy, for this really lovely review and the golden star. It took a few deletes and rewrites before I was reasonably happy with it, and have been waiting to see how it would go down with all you lovely readers. So far, so good! Thank you, my friend, your words have really made my week! Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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You are most welcome, Sandra. I know how you feel. Hugs.
