That didn't hurt.
Nail? What nail?30 total reviews
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent poem,, with an unusual way of rhyming, written in couplets with the rhyme appearing in line two of the next couplet. Beautifully written my friend, a greatly inventive, each line in seven syllable, some in eight, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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This is an excellent poem,, with an unusual way of rhyming, written in couplets with the rhyme appearing in line two of the next couplet. Beautifully written my friend, a greatly inventive, each line in seven syllable, some in eight, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
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That?s still very good, congrats
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Cute. Humorous. Worth a peak and read. Serious? If in life, yes. In a poem,
let us call it less stressful. You might see I am buying time to use up the 150 characters on tis line. I did it, Adrian.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Cute. Humorous. Worth a peak and read. Serious? If in life, yes. In a poem,
let us call it less stressful. You might see I am buying time to use up the 150 characters on tis line. I did it, Adrian.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Tom. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from SimianSavant
This is amusing. Just a formatting thing: your lines are spaced in couplets but they rhyme in 4s (xAyA). I would recommend placing them in groups of four, so that the visual effect aligns with your intent of how it is to be read.
Some tweaks could be made with your meter to make it "click" a bit more. Some of that can be done artificially with good delivery, but the reader might need to go through it a couple times to figure out how to do that. Thanks for the read!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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This is amusing. Just a formatting thing: your lines are spaced in couplets but they rhyme in 4s (xAyA). I would recommend placing them in groups of four, so that the visual effect aligns with your intent of how it is to be read.
Some tweaks could be made with your meter to make it "click" a bit more. Some of that can be done artificially with good delivery, but the reader might need to go through it a couple times to figure out how to do that. Thanks for the read!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Prez. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, this does sound serious and staples in the head sound rather painful and I know because I have had them once when I needed an op! Ha ha ha, a fun write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Oh my goodness, this does sound serious and staples in the head sound rather painful and I know because I have had them once when I needed an op! Ha ha ha, a fun write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Dolly. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from E. Denison
Great humor poem here, mystery writer. I think you did well in choosing a very serious topic that can be easily made fun of, in a dark humor/comedy sort of way. This reminds me a small bit of Phineas Gage. Good rhyme and meter throughout and interesting coloration. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Great humor poem here, mystery writer. I think you did well in choosing a very serious topic that can be easily made fun of, in a dark humor/comedy sort of way. This reminds me a small bit of Phineas Gage. Good rhyme and meter throughout and interesting coloration. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Denison. Oh no, not Gage! Lol! I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from ElPoetry001
A metaphor to inspire, a path within, where logic is thin.
Seriously funny, yet with a sub Rosa message: doing work that includes dangerous equipment may win a person the description of: "strong as an ox, smart as a tractor."
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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A metaphor to inspire, a path within, where logic is thin.
Seriously funny, yet with a sub Rosa message: doing work that includes dangerous equipment may win a person the description of: "strong as an ox, smart as a tractor."
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, El for the six and insight. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
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Thanks
Comment from Karen Alexandra
This is a clever poem and easy to read. I enjoyed the obvious humour in something serious. The presentation flows well and the dispute between wanting to complete the frame and the need for significant medical attention is obvious with irreverence to the priority of need for life saving intervention. The imagery is clever but relatable once I read the poem so it did not lead me into it. Thank you for submitting this for review. It was a pleasure to read. Karen
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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This is a clever poem and easy to read. I enjoyed the obvious humour in something serious. The presentation flows well and the dispute between wanting to complete the frame and the need for significant medical attention is obvious with irreverence to the priority of need for life saving intervention. The imagery is clever but relatable once I read the poem so it did not lead me into it. Thank you for submitting this for review. It was a pleasure to read. Karen
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Karen. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from Cecilia R
You have a great sense of humor. The poem is well written. It leads me to continue reading in search of the solution. The end is great. You appear to be a very creative writer. Keep it up.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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You have a great sense of humor. The poem is well written. It leads me to continue reading in search of the solution. The end is great. You appear to be a very creative writer. Keep it up.
Cecilia
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Cecilia for your comments and encouragement. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
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Good job. There are a lot of good writers on this site. Cecilia
Comment from Maria Millsaps
You are so clever. I love your witty style. You take a serious situation and turn it into humor. That's genus. I found your poem to well composed, and enjoyed reading it.
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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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You are so clever. I love your witty style. You take a serious situation and turn it into humor. That's genus. I found your poem to well composed, and enjoyed reading it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Maria. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.
Comment from moongirlwriter
Seriously, well put. . .but very funny as well. And you managed to find the perfect artwork to go with this funny little poem. Nicely done and the very best of luck to you in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Seriously, well put. . .but very funny as well. And you managed to find the perfect artwork to go with this funny little poem. Nicely done and the very best of luck to you in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Moongirl. I wanted the picture frame up with a certificate of carpentry accomplishment. Lol! But, I reigned myself in.
Tied for 2nd!
All the best Yard.