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The Return

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "The Return Chapter 27"
Erotic Turmoil

36 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I see Bessie did have some fun. That was pretty good. Margot doesn't act too upset that others are thinking of killing. I guess it is because Bertha told her they can't really kill her but it seems what they are doing could change history. I know you have a way of working it out. I'll stay tuned. I hope you Covid will soon be gone. You 're in my prayers.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Thank you, Beth, for another lovely review. No, Margot can't be killed, she would leave Meg's body first if that were to happen. And thank you for your prayers, I truly believe they help. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You're amazing to get all this done and posted and all the reviewing you've been doing while dealing with Covid!
Loved all the information shared and especially how Bessie had some fun at furious Lord Brandon's expense. Seems like he does believe in ghosts after all! And now that letter and Bessie's package will open up the crimes of the Brandons but how will there be justice against Gwendolyn and her butler? Guess you have that all worked out.
There were no errors that I found! My favorite part in this chapter was the pause. While Margot and Bessie exchanged their information, they stopped and you gave the reader time to take it all in with them!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Not amazing, stubborn, my hubby calls me. :)) I'm struggling, and can only reply a few at a time, and reading is slowing right down. I don't know if I'll get next weeks post done, I don't have the brain energy at the moment. Thank you so much for reading this part, and the nice comments, Helen. I really appreciate you. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, Sandra, this is such a lovely continuation to the story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. If there was anything to correct, I never noticed it. I was too engulfed in reading.
Please, Sandra, you concentrate on you and your health. A big hug, Ulla xxxx

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Thank you, dear friend, and a hug for the sixth star. It's hard keeping my mind on here, and not coughing. I'm so pleased you liked this part, I know the nits will wait. If I can, I'll write the next chapter sometime this week, my mind just isn't there at the moment. I missed your next post. How are you? Love and hug, dear friend. Sandra xx
reply by Ulla on 04-Jul-2022
    I'm a bit distracted at the moment, as well. A drama is unfolding with my family in the US. I have decided I will write about it. My brother and his immediate family is fine..But what is going on in my sister-in-law's father's life is too awful to contemplate. It's tragic beyond words. I hope you get better soon. A big hug. Ulla:)))
Comment from Heather Knight
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sandra,
I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well, but I'm sure you'll be back to your cheerful self in no time.
It's a pleasure to read you after such a long time. Don't worry about nits. When I write something, I read it again and again and eventually post it because I know I'll find a new error every time.
I enjoyed this very much. The dialogues are very good and help to understand the character's personalities better.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Hi Heather, thank you for this lovely review and the sixth star, that's so kind of you. I'll be doing a proper edit when my mind is back from its holiday! lol. Thanks, Heather, it's lovely to see you again. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Heather Knight on 09-Jul-2022
    It?s also a pleasure to read you. I hope to have more time from 15 as this next week I have to finish two courses.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Wicked twist as to the poker trick. Sly punchline!


Lady Emma Crawley, daughter of Baron Archibald Lawson - [sugg: OMIT now Lady Emma Crawley]: [Married to=>sugg: WIDOW OF] Henry [sugg: AND MOTHER OF MEG.]

Lucy Shivers: Meg's best friend. She has been forbidden to see Meg after being told by Lord Brandon [sugg: omit comma] (THAT) it wouldn't be in her family's best interests to allow the friendship to continue.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Aw, thank you, Liz. for that editing of my character list. It reads a lot better now. And a very gentle hug for your review and wonderful support. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm so relieved you're feeling better, Sandra! This is an exciting chapter; the reveals are dripping out ounce by ounce. I love Bessie. She is an interesting character and quite playful with her invisible antics. Loved it. Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Aw, thank you, John. I feel I have a way to go yet, but I am on the mend. I have to get my oxygen levels up, they are too low. And I have to be careful when I cough, it doesn't do my ribs any good at all. Slow and easy and I'll get there. Thank you for your lovely review. my friend, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying it. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You already know I love this story and thank you for posting this addition. Sending love and prayers.

The solicitor, who had just sat down expecting a long wait, leapt to his feet and held out his hand, withdrawing it moments later when he realised it was being snubbed, as Brandon spoke, deliberately mis-pronouncing his name.

'Good evening, Smith. Now, what is so important that it couldn't wait until morning? I don't have much time to spare, so make it quick.' (you can omit 'down' & put a comma after 'name' & then move the dialogue closer to the sentence.)

Bessie walked over and sat next to Margot. (sat beside Margot)

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
    Thank you so much, Barbara, for another lovely review, and the six gold star. And a big thank you for the help, I really did appreciate that. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I was shocked, but pleasantly surprised, to see your post this morning, figuring your schedule might have been pushed back a week or two. I hope you are steadily on the meant and will be good as new in a few short days. I'll save the big bear hug for when you can breathe better. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
    Thanks so much, Ric, it was lucky I'd finished the first draft at the beginning of the week. But it did need a bit doing to it. The people on here are so lovely, and helpful, they've sorted the nits out now. Thank you for your kindness, too, I'll keep you to your promise of the 'bear hug'! Love and gentle hugs, Sandra. xx
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another wonderful six star chapter. I am enjoying reading this story so much. It's just hard to do it one chapter at a time. You did a great job. Enjoy your Sunday. Shirley

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
    Thank you so much, dear Shirley, for this lovely review. I'm so happy you enjoyed it. And a big hug for the six! Love Sandra xxx
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm glad the horrible scourge didn't stop you getting this out. I am enjoying my entry into your complex world very much. But please don't neglect rest. It's so important for your recovery. Love Kate xx
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
for the first > for the first time
can you release a laugh? seems strange. Why not just he laughed.
jokes over > the joke's over
is no such thing as ghosts > are no such things as ghosts

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
    Thank you so much for reading and doing the edits, Kate, I really appreciate them, and will get them sorted now. I'm glad you entered into my complex world, too! Lol. Thank you, my friend. I'm off for a rest now. :) Sandra xx