Our Cosmic Family
Put pen to paper Potlatch Poetery Club entry28 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The night sky is gorgeous and your brought that out in this poem. A grey fox sitting on the hilltop would also be pretty. I love nature and we have foxes in our neighborhood. They're pretty harmless unless you're a chicken, then not so much. LOL Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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The night sky is gorgeous and your brought that out in this poem. A grey fox sitting on the hilltop would also be pretty. I love nature and we have foxes in our neighborhood. They're pretty harmless unless you're a chicken, then not so much. LOL Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much Barbara, do you reside in the country?
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Nope in town, but on inside top of a hill. The houses on the outside of our circle backyards are rocky and limestone bluffs.
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Well that is pretty neat👍
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The fox on a hilltop on a starry night Jim, it sounds a bit eerie, but you managed to use words that make it sound romantic here, not heard of this form before, it sounds floral, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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The fox on a hilltop on a starry night Jim, it sounds a bit eerie, but you managed to use words that make it sound romantic here, not heard of this form before, it sounds floral, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thank you Dolly, I believe that the intention is such as a floret.
Comment from harmony13
I found this poem to be very creative and filled with seeing beneath the
surface of this scene. The author expressed the words of this poem in
great detail. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome
and made on think of the awe of these words! Great Poem, JLR!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I found this poem to be very creative and filled with seeing beneath the
surface of this scene. The author expressed the words of this poem in
great detail. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is awesome
and made on think of the awe of these words! Great Poem, JLR!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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harmony, thank you for your validation on this effort.
Comment from Sally Law
I love the night sky as I'm an amateur astonomer. I can't see as well but I know the stars amd constellations are there. And the moon. A lovely poem in this form, J, and so beautifully illustrated. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the challenge.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I love the night sky as I'm an amateur astonomer. I can't see as well but I know the stars amd constellations are there. And the moon. A lovely poem in this form, J, and so beautifully illustrated. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the challenge.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much! Have a great week.
Comment from royowen
What an excellent florette poem you've written Jim, I can remember a rather hesitant writer at first, now you boldly go where you haven't before! An excellent post my friend, great word choice, rhyme and theme well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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What an excellent florette poem you've written Jim, I can remember a rather hesitant writer at first, now you boldly go where you haven't before! An excellent post my friend, great word choice, rhyme and theme well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Roy, thank you, thank you! I love the journey?
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Well done
Comment from Eleri
This appears to be an awkward form to adopt but you have given it a good shot. There are only a couple of points that I would like to make. 'Non stop' and 'stop' are effectively the same end rhyme so it is better not to use them together and I do not like your use of the word 'concretized' as I would not have thought it was in common usage exactly. I also can't see the internal rhyme in the last line of that stanza.
Eleri
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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This appears to be an awkward form to adopt but you have given it a good shot. There are only a couple of points that I would like to make. 'Non stop' and 'stop' are effectively the same end rhyme so it is better not to use them together and I do not like your use of the word 'concretized' as I would not have thought it was in common usage exactly. I also can't see the internal rhyme in the last line of that stanza.
Eleri
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Eleri, thanks great input and revision is quite q bit better,
Comment from JSD
A thoughtful and rather beautiful poem here. I hate all the fiddling with forms but the end result is very successful. Lovely atmosphere created by excellent imagery and language choice. Just check 'jaw-dropping state'. I think you want 'stare'. Lol.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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A thoughtful and rather beautiful poem here. I hate all the fiddling with forms but the end result is very successful. Lovely atmosphere created by excellent imagery and language choice. Just check 'jaw-dropping state'. I think you want 'stare'. Lol.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Yohnare so correct, JSD? Thank you.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I can find no fault with your florette, but mind you I am not a florettable expert. In fact, this week is the first I heard of it UNLESS it was by pickers, picking brocolli. :-O
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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I can find no fault with your florette, but mind you I am not a florettable expert. In fact, this week is the first I heard of it UNLESS it was by pickers, picking brocolli. :-O
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I agree, first time I have seen this in my fours years around FS.
