Thankfulness
A medieval tale24 total reviews
Comment from joan marie
Interesting take on a love contest. Of course, medieval would give you rein to explore a lot of different perspectives. I like the use of the sonnet as it fits the time period of the contest. Good luck, joan marie
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Interesting take on a love contest. Of course, medieval would give you rein to explore a lot of different perspectives. I like the use of the sonnet as it fits the time period of the contest. Good luck, joan marie
Comment Written 13-May-2009
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Thank you. You are very kind.
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You're welcome. jm
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Al...a nice sonnet about medieval love...you chose the perfect picture to enhance the well chosen words. Good elide of 'power' and I like the use of 'ken' here. I don't see that word too often but I do like it. Excellent....good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Hi Al...a nice sonnet about medieval love...you chose the perfect picture to enhance the well chosen words. Good elide of 'power' and I like the use of 'ken' here. I don't see that word too often but I do like it. Excellent....good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 13-May-2009
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Thank you; you are very kind. I didn't choose the picture; the contest did. Thanks again.
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I didn't enter the contest...just thought you picked the perfect pic!
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You should read the other two reviews. I was shocked.
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I am as shocked as you! I find it impossible to always write something that is well recieved by everyone. I have gotten some low scores that I didn't think were fair and when I ask why I don't usually get an answer....oh well....chey
Comment from Domino
Hi, Al
Just one suggestion to get rid of 2 stacatto words;
'Survival proved I would not be a witch;'
'"Did you make well the King so long ago?"
He asked me that strange question at that time.
"When he was yet a child but nine years old?
And you were then accused of that grim crime?"' - I'm not impressed with the word 'that', especially THREE times in one stanza. It seems there just to make the meter. Maybe;
'"Did you make well the King so long ago?"
Was asked the strangest question at the time.
"When he was MEREST CHILD OF nine years old?
And you were then accused of grimmest crime?"'
However, an unusual and interesting tale, and i don't like deducting stars.
Best wishes, Ray xx
However, excellent sonnet meter and rhyme form
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Hi, Al
Just one suggestion to get rid of 2 stacatto words;
'Survival proved I would not be a witch;'
'"Did you make well the King so long ago?"
He asked me that strange question at that time.
"When he was yet a child but nine years old?
And you were then accused of that grim crime?"' - I'm not impressed with the word 'that', especially THREE times in one stanza. It seems there just to make the meter. Maybe;
'"Did you make well the King so long ago?"
Was asked the strangest question at the time.
"When he was MEREST CHILD OF nine years old?
And you were then accused of grimmest crime?"'
However, an unusual and interesting tale, and i don't like deducting stars.
Best wishes, Ray xx
However, excellent sonnet meter and rhyme form
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-May-2009
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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Thank you for your review.
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No problem, Al
Were any of my suggestions useful or welcome? Would you prefer me not to offer suggestions in future, as your response to my thorough and time-consuming review seems rather short.
Best wishes, Ray xx
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I have no choice, Ray. We are not supposed to defend our work on this site.
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I'm not asking you to defend it, Al. I'm simply asking if anything was useful, and if you want suggestions in future. I am always open to constructive critique of my own stuff (without silly deduction of stars); in fact I CRAVE it, in order to improve. Superficial and cursory reviews are nice, but of no real use, IMHO.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment from andyangel
confusing and hard to understand the rhymeing is really great and the sense of history is there to i liked the overall picture but could not see the various colors and details the author tried to portray
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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confusing and hard to understand the rhymeing is really great and the sense of history is there to i liked the overall picture but could not see the various colors and details the author tried to portray
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-May-2009
reply by the author on 13-May-2009
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The color system is not working on the advanced editor, for some reason. I am going to write Tom about it later today.
