O' Holy Night, Beyond that Door
a check on reality35 total reviews
Comment from Trybuck
A great message within a message. Thank you Lord for our men and women far away from the luxuries of home, giving their best for our country. Well done, Buck
  |
A great message within a message. Thank you Lord for our men and women far away from the luxuries of home, giving their best for our country. Well done, Buck
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
Comment from joan marie
This is amazing. As I read I thought about the wars being waged all over the world. I thought how many were being fought over religious beliefs. As we kill each other so that we may pray in our own private way. Excellent Entry. joan marie
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
 |
This is amazing. As I read I thought about the wars being waged all over the world. I thought how many were being fought over religious beliefs. As we kill each other so that we may pray in our own private way. Excellent Entry. joan marie
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
joan marie, this is a wonderful surprise. How are you? I am so very moved by your words and review. thank you so very very much..jimi
I have been away for quite ahile..tell me how you are doing..
-
Not writing a lot, but that is because I am concentrating on short stories. I am doing well, hope you are the same. I was glad to see your post and it was terrific how you worked the song into the poem. jm
Comment from Begin Again
jlsavell
You have written an emotional piece and woven the beautiful hymn "O Holy Night" within it...Your sentiment flows well as we remember the ones who are putting their life on the line every day. defending you and I...even though they are so far away.
Carol
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
jlsavell
You have written an emotional piece and woven the beautiful hymn "O Holy Night" within it...Your sentiment flows well as we remember the ones who are putting their life on the line every day. defending you and I...even though they are so far away.
Carol
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
Begin Again, thank you so very very much. I am touched and honored that you have read and revieiwed my poem. Thank you so very much. jlsavell
Comment from Judian James
I rarely review religious pieces, but this is such a superb poem on so many levels, reminding us so very clearly that it's Christmas for everyone, and a sad one for our troops so far away from home with the atrocious job they are expected to do. Taking such a beautiful song and using it as the backdrop to the reality of war, was just brilliant. The dichotomy of the two was so effective Jimi. Bravo!
Oh, and then to carry it off in rhyme ... Bravo!!
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
I rarely review religious pieces, but this is such a superb poem on so many levels, reminding us so very clearly that it's Christmas for everyone, and a sad one for our troops so far away from home with the atrocious job they are expected to do. Taking such a beautiful song and using it as the backdrop to the reality of war, was just brilliant. The dichotomy of the two was so effective Jimi. Bravo!
Oh, and then to carry it off in rhyme ... Bravo!!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
Judian James,this review has truly moved my heart. Why? Because of the immense respect I have for a poet of the highest calibre.I,too, concur about reviewing religious pieces, we have talked of this before. As you well know upon reading, I wanted it to make a different statement as to the state of the world and such songs are quite beautiful and moving, such celebrations perhaps give mankind some kind of hope, but despite such ideology, reality is reality..man's inhumanity to man, and we have yet to learn. Again thank you so very very much. I was so hoping you would read this one and you did!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. jimi
-
My pleasure Jimi. Happy Holidays.
Comment from Kingsland
the whole problem with war is this. everyone knows that war is a fruitless pursuit. But then the other shoe is dropped. If God be on our side, then who can be against us. Theses words fall so very flat, as it comes to an excuse to why we must find reasons for killing our fellow man. The only way war will end is when everyone refuses to wage it. Your poem put those thoughts into my mind. I found your poem to be well written and a fine statement against waging war. Will there ever be a time when we find no excuse to wage war... John
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
the whole problem with war is this. everyone knows that war is a fruitless pursuit. But then the other shoe is dropped. If God be on our side, then who can be against us. Theses words fall so very flat, as it comes to an excuse to why we must find reasons for killing our fellow man. The only way war will end is when everyone refuses to wage it. Your poem put those thoughts into my mind. I found your poem to be well written and a fine statement against waging war. Will there ever be a time when we find no excuse to wage war... John
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
John, thank you my wonderful friend. Your review and words cannot be more right on. jimi
Comment from TinyTeena
You have achieved an extremely fantastic poem here - showing the two opposites at this time of year. The beautiful christmas carols, full of peace and love, in opposition to war and fighting and hatred and death. But as soldiers it's their duty to go forth and kill. The last line can be read 2 ways - praying and hoping tat peace will come between the 2 countries so there will no longer be any need to fight and kill. Or it could read as give me peace if I die when I go off to fight this war. Great rhythm, flow and rhyme. Perfect use of lines from Christmas carols. Well done
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
You have achieved an extremely fantastic poem here - showing the two opposites at this time of year. The beautiful christmas carols, full of peace and love, in opposition to war and fighting and hatred and death. But as soldiers it's their duty to go forth and kill. The last line can be read 2 ways - praying and hoping tat peace will come between the 2 countries so there will no longer be any need to fight and kill. Or it could read as give me peace if I die when I go off to fight this war. Great rhythm, flow and rhyme. Perfect use of lines from Christmas carols. Well done
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
TinyTeena, thank you so very very much. I have not been on Fansotry too much as of late, but I felt the need to post this one. I am truly humble by your exceptional and did not expect such a wonderful response. Unfortunately this is a reality not only for our troops now, but for those that have marched before them..again thank you..jlsavell
Comment from Oatmeal
jlsavell,
Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The rhyming is well done.
I did locate one small error. Nothing to worry about at all. It will be a quick fix.
But** as soldiers, we pray for His peace beyond that door
**a comma goes here
Everything else was clean. Comprehensible and very professionally written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
jlsavell,
Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The rhyming is well done.
I did locate one small error. Nothing to worry about at all. It will be a quick fix.
But** as soldiers, we pray for His peace beyond that door
**a comma goes here
Everything else was clean. Comprehensible and very professionally written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
Oatmeal, thank you so very much for your wonderful commnets and review. I have edited as suggested. Thanks for the eye. I appreciate you...jlsavell
Comment from jason456
How appropriate that you wrote this realistic and sad poem for Christmas. God Bless our troops and may they have a peaceful Christmas. Your poem is well written and the art work you chose is perfect.
Patti :)
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
|
How appropriate that you wrote this realistic and sad poem for Christmas. God Bless our troops and may they have a peaceful Christmas. Your poem is well written and the art work you chose is perfect.
Patti :)
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
-
jason456, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my poem. I appreciate yuor wonderful comments, This is reality with our troops as it was for many that marched before. again thank you..jlsavell
Comment from authorx
When I read this poem I really didn't care about looking for errors. All I cared about was the message it carried. Our troops are still over there, fighting for only God knows what, and even on the day Christ was born they are still choking on desert dust. Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize and for what? Our troops are still over there fighting a war we will never win. While he will be eating Christmas dinner at the white house. Our troops deserve the Nobel peace prize more than a single man.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
|
When I read this poem I really didn't care about looking for errors. All I cared about was the message it carried. Our troops are still over there, fighting for only God knows what, and even on the day Christ was born they are still choking on desert dust. Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize and for what? Our troops are still over there fighting a war we will never win. While he will be eating Christmas dinner at the white house. Our troops deserve the Nobel peace prize more than a single man.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
-
authorx, hello nice to meet you. I appreciate your stopping by to read and review my work. I must look into your portfolio. Are you new..again thank you so much..I hear yuorwords loud and clear..jlsavell
-
I'm not really new here according to the site I joined in May of 2003. I don't remember it if I did. You are quite welcome for the review. I say, bring our troops back home!
Comment from Dave M
Jimi,
This is an excellent poem. I love the way you worked the hymn's lines into your descriptions of war and tired, homesick soldiers. This poem is an excellent tribute to our soldiers and a reminder of how short we've fallen of God's love.
Dave
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
|
Jimi,
This is an excellent poem. I love the way you worked the hymn's lines into your descriptions of war and tired, homesick soldiers. This poem is an excellent tribute to our soldiers and a reminder of how short we've fallen of God's love.
Dave
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
-
Dave M, As always i am grateful to you for oyur loyal support. My wonderful friend.. I an thrilled you liked it, that means alot ot me..jimi
