Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Ok, this is good and I need to wipe my tears before finishing the review. Why do teenager feel they will live forever?

"Michael, the movie's about to start." Mom's "let's-pretend-to-be-a-happy-family" voice called my name for the third time. "You don't want to miss the beginning." (This is confusing to read, mabye single quotes around 'let's-pretend-to-be-a-happy-family')

and shifted back into his "tonight-we-don't-upset-your-Mom" mode, "Your Mom's been calling you. Let's go!" (again confusing)

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Barbara,

I was thinking of my grandson when I wrote this story. His tragic death leaves us with heartbreak everyday. He had so much potential and it was wasted foolishly. Thank you...CArol

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

I don't know it it is purposeful, but the title fits perfectly with your screen name. "Do over" "Begin Again"
Oh yeah, and I really like this story. I'm glad you didn't cut it short.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Fred,

My thoughts were on my grandson and his foolish death. Tragedy brings heartbreak and we can't change it. Smiles, CArol

Comment from lola29

Excellent

Carol, this is a tearjerker. You did an excellent job of characterizing Michael as a teenager, and I do hope that his present state is with his grandmother.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Lola,

I was thinking of my grandson when I wrote this story. Dealing with the tragedy and the heartbreak never seems easier. Smiles, CArol

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Sorry ;you missed the contest but I am thrilled you kept this just as it is. What a deeply touching and powerful story. Beautifully written and filled with strong emotions that brought tears to my eyes. You have done a terrific job with this.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Sasha,

I still can write another story for the contest, but this one didn't fit. I was thinking of my grandson when I wrote it and the tragedy our family lives with everyday. Thanks jfor the kind comments. Carol

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

You're really losing it, Michael - add comma for direct address
Look, Mom's left a light on - add comma
I've had way to much to drink - too much
Your story powerfully conveys the cold reality that there are not do-overs - far too often people act compulsively and do one thing wrong that has life-changing consequences for himself and all who love him. Many mistakes simply can't be taken back, and teens are particularly prone to this because their frontal lobes are not fully developed yet while all those hormones are raging. Excellent character development, strong dialogue, good pacing - an excellent story, Carol. Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Brooke,

As you can see, I am way behind on my responses...life had other plans for me lately and now I am playing catch up. Thanks for the kind review...Carol

Comment from bayoupoet

Excellent

Carol, I did enjoy reading this story and truly felt bad for the kid and his family. I caught myself wishing that there was such a thing as a do over!
sandra

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Sandra,

As you can see I am way behind on my reviews and I apologize. Life took a different turn and nothing waits for me. Smiles, CArol

Comment from cheyennewy

Excellent

Oh Carol,

This story is so sad and I would defy anyone to read it with a dry eye...I know I didn't. I gave out my last six today and now I am sorry I did. This wonderful story moves along easily and compelled me to read every word. The end was uplifting but I was so hoping it was a dream and Mikey would wake up and be a different kid. Superb writing! Blessings....chey

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Chey,

Sorry for the late response. Life has been a spiral and I fell way behind. Appreciate the kind comments. Carol

Comment from Ash Madox

Excellent

I'm glad you didn't delete a thing. This was an exceptional write. You took me in one direction--fun and lighthearted--then to a totally unexpected other place. The teenage voice was completely realistic, and the sadness was gripping in his disappointment not to say goodbye. Then the wonderful resolution. What a great, well penned story. I really enjoyed this. Well done. Ash.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Ash,

I apologize for my late response. I have been lost in a whirlwind of events in life and I fell behind. Thankyou for the review and your kind comments. Carol

reply by Ash Madox on 28-Apr-2010

Don't sweat it, Carol. you get so many reviews, I don't know how you manage all the replies--it must take longer than writing the stories :) Cheers. Ash.

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Ash,

You are a darling..Thanks jfor letting me off the hook so nicely. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

What a touching story. It has such emotion and such a good lesson. Your characters are strong and real. You did a good job. I found not spag.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010

Texaasgal,

Thankyou for your kind comments. I apologize for my late thank you but life has gotten a little out of hand of late. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Thilophian

Excellent

It is a very good literary endeavour. It has a superb flow of words. Accurate style and it is almost flawless. Itis a pleasure to read such works.
Congratulations, Keep going.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2010

Thilophian,

My son Michael was not a teenager when he died but he certainly entertained enough mischief...that's why I couldn't scaled the story down to 1000 words. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, Carol