Day and Night
a tanka23 total reviews
Comment from RolandtheGunslinger
Very well written piece of poetry. Loved the art that went with it.
Though the way you used ; really worked well.
I am becoming more familiar with this type of poem on FS.I must say I like it.
You poem is well deserving of a 6 even though my beliefs may not agree with
the depiction that you represented.
Roland
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Very well written piece of poetry. Loved the art that went with it.
Though the way you used ; really worked well.
I am becoming more familiar with this type of poem on FS.I must say I like it.
You poem is well deserving of a 6 even though my beliefs may not agree with
the depiction that you represented.
Roland
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you for judging this on technique and not on whether you agree with the content or not. Thanks also for a good review.
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Alvin I really do try to look at the piece. SOmetimes it is hard not to let feelings get in the way but I am always at least trying to b objective when looking at the piece that is before me. I hoep I was able to do that with yours.
Roland
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Yes, you were quite professional. Thank you for a good review.
Comment from adewpearl
Alvin, your poem is in excellent tanka form both in syllable count and in the inclusion of a strong pivot line, an element many people leave out. I like the dome of heaven from the seas image and the contrast in the tanka's conclusion, which you show off well through the parallel structure of the final two lines. A wonderful poem of faith that celebrates God's creation. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Alvin, your poem is in excellent tanka form both in syllable count and in the inclusion of a strong pivot line, an element many people leave out. I like the dome of heaven from the seas image and the contrast in the tanka's conclusion, which you show off well through the parallel structure of the final two lines. A wonderful poem of faith that celebrates God's creation. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thanks for understanding the poem so well and for a good review. My inspiration came from Genesis 1.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Al,
This is the most accomplished tanka poem I have read in a long time. If it doesn't win the contest something is drastically wrong. I love the message and the words. I shall give this poem six stars, not because you gave me one but because the poem is exceptional. Good luck in the contest. Glad to hear you feel a bit better. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Hi Al,
This is the most accomplished tanka poem I have read in a long time. If it doesn't win the contest something is drastically wrong. I love the message and the words. I shall give this poem six stars, not because you gave me one but because the poem is exceptional. Good luck in the contest. Glad to hear you feel a bit better. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thanks for an exceptional rating and review. I truly appreciate it.
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You are most welcome!