The Crypt of Hubbard Hayle: Part 2
Part two of the story...45 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
Spooky as always Dean but I would expect nothing less from you. The illustrations that you come up with for your work are truly artistic and will make a fine novel. Don
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Spooky as always Dean but I would expect nothing less from you. The illustrations that you come up with for your work are truly artistic and will make a fine novel. Don
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks, Don, I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story. I appreciate you following along.
Comment from MoonWillow
The first photo didn't load, but it's probably just my PC... it's old and tired. You might want to ask someone else if they're seeing it.
Excellent, Dean. A bit of background, well presented.
Just my opinion, but it might read smoother if you just said, "the blow knocked the wind out of me." Sounds more natural. Love the little tidbit at the end about the mouse!
It throws a little more 'creepy' into a great beginning. You get the feeling that the mouse knows/senses that something bad is happening or going to happen.
"I saw murder in those eyes." Great way to leave the reader wanting more! :)shawn
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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The first photo didn't load, but it's probably just my PC... it's old and tired. You might want to ask someone else if they're seeing it.
Excellent, Dean. A bit of background, well presented.
Just my opinion, but it might read smoother if you just said, "the blow knocked the wind out of me." Sounds more natural. Love the little tidbit at the end about the mouse!
It throws a little more 'creepy' into a great beginning. You get the feeling that the mouse knows/senses that something bad is happening or going to happen.
"I saw murder in those eyes." Great way to leave the reader wanting more! :)shawn
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks a bunch for the great feedback, MW. So far, no one has seemed to have any problems with any of the photos, so...I'm not sure what's going on there.
I'm really pleased to know that you liked the overall story. Thanks again for an awesome review, my friend.
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You're welcome. The picture's OK now. It just took and long time to load. The PC I'm on most of the time is about 10 years old. Poor thing. lol.
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Oh, that's good to know. Not that your computer is ten years old, but that the picture loads, lol...
Comment from sibhus
Yeah, this is getting realy interesting. I think the old man would have taken one of the wagon trians heeading out to the gold fields, the sea route would have taken to long. the jumping off point would have been Misouri, which would be a lot closer to Ohio, sorry just a thought. Other then that great depiction of typical kids, well at least kids in the 70's. Now they would be hunkered over their computer checking out porn. Good stuff, looking forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Yeah, this is getting realy interesting. I think the old man would have taken one of the wagon trians heeading out to the gold fields, the sea route would have taken to long. the jumping off point would have been Misouri, which would be a lot closer to Ohio, sorry just a thought. Other then that great depiction of typical kids, well at least kids in the 70's. Now they would be hunkered over their computer checking out porn. Good stuff, looking forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Ha ha, you got that right, sibhus! Hubbard choose the sea route for a reason, and we'll be getting to that a little later on in the story. I really appreciate you following along.
Comment from Writingfundimension
I sure wish I had a six for this, Dean. I love the way you get inside the head of those twisted, one-sided relationships young people can have with each other. That rage in Timmy is just what a demon loves to work with. Great set-up, with some descriptions that border on the poetic. I wouldn't miss part three for the world! Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I sure wish I had a six for this, Dean. I love the way you get inside the head of those twisted, one-sided relationships young people can have with each other. That rage in Timmy is just what a demon loves to work with. Great set-up, with some descriptions that border on the poetic. I wouldn't miss part three for the world! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks a bunch, Bev, that's very kind of you to say. I'm so happy that you're getting into the story.
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I'm looking forward to the next part, Dean!
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Anxiously awaiting Chapter Three, Dean. So, Timmy had enough of Danny's insults. Can't say as I blame him. Danny is now dangling over a literary cliff. But I'm more curious about Jebediah's jealousy. You spin a fine yarn. Eager for more!
Suggestion:
across potions of the Atlantic (should be, "portions"?)
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Anxiously awaiting Chapter Three, Dean. So, Timmy had enough of Danny's insults. Can't say as I blame him. Danny is now dangling over a literary cliff. But I'm more curious about Jebediah's jealousy. You spin a fine yarn. Eager for more!
Suggestion:
across potions of the Atlantic (should be, "portions"?)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thanks, Green Lake Girl, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I took care of that typo, too, thanks for pointing it out!
Comment from billscott
Damn I like your story-telling style. Dean, I have to say, your stories are gaining more power in smaller chunks of prose than ever before. It's what I'm workin on myself. You have my mind whirring about upping my style in my own way.
Imagination is churning now...lol
Plus, this story indirectly reminds me of the movie, Stand by Me about boys discovering something devastating. But, your story, significantly different, ramps up the drama and intrigue faster with a sharper, faster storyline.
Love that!
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Damn I like your story-telling style. Dean, I have to say, your stories are gaining more power in smaller chunks of prose than ever before. It's what I'm workin on myself. You have my mind whirring about upping my style in my own way.
Imagination is churning now...lol
Plus, this story indirectly reminds me of the movie, Stand by Me about boys discovering something devastating. But, your story, significantly different, ramps up the drama and intrigue faster with a sharper, faster storyline.
Love that!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thank, Bill, and that's the best compliment I've received in quite some time. It's always nice to know that you've inspired someone else to take chances and explore their own, unique style a bit deeper. I truly appreciate your kind and encouraging words.
Comment from emrpoems
Par excellence! Brilliant! That is how I describe your
writing, at least to me that is, since I do not qualify as a writer.
I try to avoid thriller and horrors but I have been drafted in to read yours. An enjoyable read with all its suspense
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Par excellence! Brilliant! That is how I describe your
writing, at least to me that is, since I do not qualify as a writer.
I try to avoid thriller and horrors but I have been drafted in to read yours. An enjoyable read with all its suspense
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thanks, emrpoems, and you see, horror stories aren't all blood and guts. In fact, some of the scariest stories I've ever read had very little of either. I sincerely appreciate your words of encouragement, my friend.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Poor little Timmy - a sacrificial lamb for certain.
Another intriguing and well written chapter interspersed with interesting factual information .
I like this format and it seems to work well.
Great graphics.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Poor little Timmy - a sacrificial lamb for certain.
Another intriguing and well written chapter interspersed with interesting factual information .
I like this format and it seems to work well.
Great graphics.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thanks, seken58, and I am very glad that you do!
Comment from DR DIP
Dean, you are really starting to convert me to the haunted house and mind Of one Dean Kucho Kuch!
Your writings of suspense draws many an unsuspecting reader in....sitting here both frothing and shitting oneself at the same time hankering for the next adventure
well done master splinter! well done!
dip
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Dean, you are really starting to convert me to the haunted house and mind Of one Dean Kucho Kuch!
Your writings of suspense draws many an unsuspecting reader in....sitting here both frothing and shitting oneself at the same time hankering for the next adventure
well done master splinter! well done!
dip
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Hah ha, well Dip, that's a great compliment to pay to a writer of horror and suspense, my friend. It doesn't get any better than to have 'em crappin' in their britches, lol! You might want to have some toilet paper on hand for the next one, dip (LOL)...~
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, dean , you did an excellent job writing this chapter where we learn more of the history and the personalities of the characters. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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this is very well written, dean , you did an excellent job writing this chapter where we learn more of the history and the personalities of the characters. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 30-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thank you sweet.
