A Mother's Crime
A public service warning27 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah! I liked your author's notes. That was very good to know, LOL!
Tina should have realized that, despite the cravings, Dunkin' Donuts will eventually kill you. All that sugar, unsaturated fats and calories. Not good at all! And talk about your bad luck, Tina was the walking, talking poster child for bad luck and poor timing, I would think.
At least she decided not to murder her nagging mother, so she could not have been all bad, tight?
Well written story, and a nice little twist at the end.
Best of luck to you!
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Hah! I liked your author's notes. That was very good to know, LOL!
Tina should have realized that, despite the cravings, Dunkin' Donuts will eventually kill you. All that sugar, unsaturated fats and calories. Not good at all! And talk about your bad luck, Tina was the walking, talking poster child for bad luck and poor timing, I would think.
At least she decided not to murder her nagging mother, so she could not have been all bad, tight?
Well written story, and a nice little twist at the end.
Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Acquired Taste
Wicked twist at the end - am more upset that grandmother has the baby than the mother's plan to kill her. Now what does that say about me? These 500 max stories are difficult to do - think you did a good job! AT=/
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Wicked twist at the end - am more upset that grandmother has the baby than the mother's plan to kill her. Now what does that say about me? These 500 max stories are difficult to do - think you did a good job! AT=/
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Writer
Well you sure filled the horror requirement of the prompt. Fast paced and riveting to the end.
A baby girl, not a boy ... and the surprise twist at the end! Poor Tina ... just not her day ... or life, it seems. I've been well entertained and found your writing style to be exciting and stimulating. You built tension, processed the complete story in so few words, great clarity and flow. Original and creative use of the prompt requirements. I didn't spot any spag. The best of luck in the contest ... a strong contender for sure. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
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Hi Mystery Writer
Well you sure filled the horror requirement of the prompt. Fast paced and riveting to the end.
A baby girl, not a boy ... and the surprise twist at the end! Poor Tina ... just not her day ... or life, it seems. I've been well entertained and found your writing style to be exciting and stimulating. You built tension, processed the complete story in so few words, great clarity and flow. Original and creative use of the prompt requirements. I didn't spot any spag. The best of luck in the contest ... a strong contender for sure. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Pyrrho
Your vignette is one of those the-right-one-got-nailed stories but not quite a Hollywood tale maybe a Chicago slum tale is a more appropriate handle. narrative is fine as is the dialog.
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Your vignette is one of those the-right-one-got-nailed stories but not quite a Hollywood tale maybe a Chicago slum tale is a more appropriate handle. narrative is fine as is the dialog.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from DerivedBetter
Wow, this was good. Had some thriller elements, good dialogue, and then ending with an awesome conclusion. The last line is simply the best. Great job, thanks for sharing.
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Wow, this was good. Had some thriller elements, good dialogue, and then ending with an awesome conclusion. The last line is simply the best. Great job, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Trybuck
It's good to know that no babies or Mommas were hurt. I just knew there would be a lot of pain having a baby cut out of you while you still lives...
Well done with your entry, Buck
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It's good to know that no babies or Mommas were hurt. I just knew there would be a lot of pain having a baby cut out of you while you still lives...
Well done with your entry, Buck
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
Comment from Kaila Mari
I'm chilled at the horror of it all. The suspense plot was great; it captured my attention to the end. The climax was unexpected and superb! The ending left me with unanswered questions, as I like. I will now forever wander what really happened. The author left it up to me to fill in the answers. Great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I'm chilled at the horror of it all. The suspense plot was great; it captured my attention to the end. The climax was unexpected and superb! The ending left me with unanswered questions, as I like. I will now forever wander what really happened. The author left it up to me to fill in the answers. Great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014