Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "The Attic Door"Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
63 total reviews
Comment from His Grayness
EXCELLENT SCARY WORK as always from Dean! I really enjoyed this read and had a good laugh at the climax of course. I cannot offer any suggestions to improve this great work from this very talented writer! His Grayness: Vance
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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EXCELLENT SCARY WORK as always from Dean! I really enjoyed this read and had a good laugh at the climax of course. I cannot offer any suggestions to improve this great work from this very talented writer! His Grayness: Vance
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Aw, thanks, Vance. You're always too kind, my friend. I can't take all of the credit for this one. But I sure thank fellow member GE Parsons for conveying his personal childhood experience with me and allowing me to make a story out of it.
Much obliged for the thoughtful comments, my friend. ~Dean
Comment from GregoryCody
Well. Thank you. There is Nothing creepier than images like the the woman in the mirror. Actually any dead woman. Like the old lady in the tub in The Shining.
This is so creepy. So creepy. I like your dialogue, it sounds real but also it flows so well with the story. This is one of your best imo. How many stories to you have now if you don't mind me asking?
Bravo, well deserved.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Well. Thank you. There is Nothing creepier than images like the the woman in the mirror. Actually any dead woman. Like the old lady in the tub in The Shining.
This is so creepy. So creepy. I like your dialogue, it sounds real but also it flows so well with the story. This is one of your best imo. How many stories to you have now if you don't mind me asking?
Bravo, well deserved.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Gregory. I appreciate you taking an interest in this series, also for the six star rating and complimentary comments. And yes, "creepy" is a compliment to any self-respecting author of horror fiction, LOL.
There are 39 chapters in the book thus far. Furthermore, if you ever feel so inspired please feel free to add a Tiny Tale of Terror of your own, Gregory. The book has contributors from all corners of FanStory. It would be interesting to see what you could come up with in 500 words or less. Your surrealist style lends itself well to the horror genre.
Thanks again, Gregory! ~Dean :}
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Oh what a compliment! I'll think of something good! Maybe you could help me with it once it's complete though, just quick edit if needed. Well, obviously I would need your once over. Or twice over ;)
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Just send it to my inbox, Gregory. Heck, most everyone else does just to ask me if the story is acceptable for the series. I appreciate it when authors do so. It lets me know they care about the quality of terror tales--whether they are frightening enough, or not--that are going into the book. If I could figure out a way this book could be published, I would do so in a heartbeat.
~Dean :)
Comment from GE Parson
I'm a little conceited on the humble side, so I gave US a six rating - as you say "Heh, heh heh!
You did a slam bang knock 'em out of the park job. Look'n forward to "The Darkness" Is that a continuation of this story or one completely separate?
Your Bloody Buddy
Jerry
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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I'm a little conceited on the humble side, so I gave US a six rating - as you say "Heh, heh heh!
You did a slam bang knock 'em out of the park job. Look'n forward to "The Darkness" Is that a continuation of this story or one completely separate?
Your Bloody Buddy
Jerry
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Ha-ha, well, there's nothing wrong with that, Jerry. I certainly appreciate the inspiration you gave me for this Tiny Tale of Terror. I couldn't have written it without you. Thank you for your kind and complimentary comments, as well as the six stars. All are very much appreciated, my brother.
As far as the story, "The Darkness" goes, this is a multi-authored book where anyone can contribute chapters and stories to. As long as it is between 100-500 words in length, and in the horror/thriller genre, of course. The story you mentioned is a stand-alone story by a different author. It is completely unrelated to your story.
~Dean :)
Comment from Michaelk
Another well done tiny tale. Those pesky attic steps, it seems they're almost as much problem as the cellar stairs. :)
Great atmosphere you created with the storm, and your description really set the scene.
You know I always like the ending with a little left to the imagination. You definitely didn't disappoint. I knew something was coming, but that was very creepy. I did love the kid getting blamed for hauling the mirror downstairs.
Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Another well done tiny tale. Those pesky attic steps, it seems they're almost as much problem as the cellar stairs. :)
Great atmosphere you created with the storm, and your description really set the scene.
You know I always like the ending with a little left to the imagination. You definitely didn't disappoint. I knew something was coming, but that was very creepy. I did love the kid getting blamed for hauling the mirror downstairs.
Great job.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for another indepth and stellar review, Michael, my friend. I certainly appreciate your time and effort spent doing so.
~Dean
Comment from Megalips
Oh is this based on a real life experience? That makes it even better! Really scary story and (as always) very effective props! It looks like there are actually two mirrors in the first picture....the reflection of a mirror inside a mirror..."a dream within a dream"....maybe not, but would be cool. Another great one, Dean! Your descriptions and imagery (tree shadows like vultures over the bed) is outstanding.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Oh is this based on a real life experience? That makes it even better! Really scary story and (as always) very effective props! It looks like there are actually two mirrors in the first picture....the reflection of a mirror inside a mirror..."a dream within a dream"....maybe not, but would be cool. Another great one, Dean! Your descriptions and imagery (tree shadows like vultures over the bed) is outstanding.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Thank you very much for your review, 'Lips. I appreciate it very much, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
~Dean
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Absolutely terrifying
Nicely done as always
Loved the twist at the end.
I get involved with the door and try to scream "Pay attention!"
Good addition to the book
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Absolutely terrifying
Nicely done as always
Loved the twist at the end.
I get involved with the door and try to scream "Pay attention!"
Good addition to the book
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
Comment from Mr. Dark
Well sir, you've done it again. Unlike myself, who takes her own damn sweet time to set a story up, you've mastered the flash. To be able to set a scene so deftly in so few words is enviable. I especially like the visual of the night light casting an eerie glow like those glowing necklaces you get at the carnival (perfect image). You have a knack for taking something well-worn (the ghost in the attic) and not just making it your own, but making it fresh. You know from the get go that something sinister is in the attic, and you set it up beautifully with the noises (nice visuals again with the whispering and the crying... good solid chills!). But, even though you know there's something in the attic, you still manage to keep the reader on the edge of their seat in anticipation. My only complaint is that the story wasn't long enough, and I didn't even get to finish popping my popcorn to enjoy while reading it LOL! ;)
You've found a perfect niche for your talents, and your well appears to be in no danger of running dry any time soon. and YAY for that!!
These stories need a warning: May cause addiction
:)
--Sara
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Well sir, you've done it again. Unlike myself, who takes her own damn sweet time to set a story up, you've mastered the flash. To be able to set a scene so deftly in so few words is enviable. I especially like the visual of the night light casting an eerie glow like those glowing necklaces you get at the carnival (perfect image). You have a knack for taking something well-worn (the ghost in the attic) and not just making it your own, but making it fresh. You know from the get go that something sinister is in the attic, and you set it up beautifully with the noises (nice visuals again with the whispering and the crying... good solid chills!). But, even though you know there's something in the attic, you still manage to keep the reader on the edge of their seat in anticipation. My only complaint is that the story wasn't long enough, and I didn't even get to finish popping my popcorn to enjoy while reading it LOL! ;)
You've found a perfect niche for your talents, and your well appears to be in no danger of running dry any time soon. and YAY for that!!
These stories need a warning: May cause addiction
:)
--Sara
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Heh-heh...thanks, Sara. I certainly hope they become addictive. In this "get it now, get it quick" society in which we're currently living, people have the need for instant gratification. Whether it be the foods they choose to eat, the movies they watch which are just a video stream away, or having the life scared outta them in a horror story. They want it scary, and they want it now. No wading through pages of useless setups, back story and scenarios. Give it to me hard, and make it hurt.
Feel free at anytime to submit your own Tiny Tale to the book. It is, after all, a book open to all premium FanStory member submissions.
Thanks so much again for your positive response. I'm very happy you enjoyed this one.
~Dean
Comment from Zinnia48
This creepy story is quite imaginative and creative. Scarey without undue carnage! (I'm a weenie and I know it). One teensy observation: "a really bad storm" is jarring when placed amongst your otherwise stellar language. Perhaps their might be a more descriptive phrase? Best wishes. Caroline
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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This creepy story is quite imaginative and creative. Scarey without undue carnage! (I'm a weenie and I know it). One teensy observation: "a really bad storm" is jarring when placed amongst your otherwise stellar language. Perhaps their might be a more descriptive phrase? Best wishes. Caroline
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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The entire story was written initially in more descriptive phrases, Caroline. But a reviewer pointed out to me that a kid would not speak in that way or use those sorts of words, so I changed it all around. At first it was written like so:
"A violent storm was brewing outside. Through the skylight in the roof I see flashes of lightning."
So, it is what it is, and I hope it reads more like that of a younger child. It certainly got better reviews the way it was originally written.
~Dean
Comment from GWHARGIS
The image of the girl in the mirror was pretty creepy. I liked that this was loosely based on a true horror tale. Did I tell you I have ghosts in my house. One is a young male, probably a teenager. The other is a little girl. She has been spotted by me, my husband and my oldest daughter. She hovers near us and I call her my daughter. It creeps out my friends and family, but I love them. Anyhow, this one was good and scary. All the elements are there. The attic door, the storm and the ghoul. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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The image of the girl in the mirror was pretty creepy. I liked that this was loosely based on a true horror tale. Did I tell you I have ghosts in my house. One is a young male, probably a teenager. The other is a little girl. She has been spotted by me, my husband and my oldest daughter. She hovers near us and I call her my daughter. It creeps out my friends and family, but I love them. Anyhow, this one was good and scary. All the elements are there. The attic door, the storm and the ghoul. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Thanks very much, Gretchen. I certainly appreciate the review.
I know all too well what you mean as it pertains to seeing ghosts. When my daughter was very young, we moved into the house next door when our home nearly burned down due to an electrical short in the attic wiring. A young, ghostly girl whom only my daughter could see and referred to as Valentina, followed her to the new home. She would sit and play with her, talk to her, and even mimic holding an unseen person's hand. After this went on from the time she was five until almost eight, I had our minister come over and bless our new home. He told Valentina she had to go back to wherever it was she came from, and leave my daughter alone.
We never heard about her again afterwards, but my daughter still remembers her and brings up her name from time to time.
Comment from I am Cat
Yikes! ok, i wish I could send you a photo of the goosebumps on my arms right now... *shivers*...
still shivering.... it got creepily cold just now.
ok...
I really liked this story... the girl in the mirror yikes (makes mental note to remove any and all mirrors from the bedroom before bedtime tonight)
I was wondering about very tense... you seemed to be speaking in present tense for most of it... and then it changed and changed back.... like:
'I jump out of bed. I have to turn on the lamp sitting on my night stand a bunch of times before I can finally go back to sleep.'
(like... i believe it's present tense... right?)
'Tonight, the door flew open hitting the wall so hard it woke me up. A really bad storm was carrying on outside. Through the skylight in the roof I see lightning flash. The elongated, finger-like shadows of trees dance across my wall, creep across the floor, then perch like hungry vultures above me. The storm gets worse as the trees are rocked by really strong winds.'
(same... but then)
'My night light's gone out.'
(I guess that's ok, right?)
(then)
'Dad smiled, nodding toward the mirror. "
(should that be 'smiles'?)
anyway... that's the only thing... besides this at the top:
'A multi-authored collection of micro & flash horror fiction by fellow FanStroy contributors'
FanStroy? ;)
(you might wanna change that part) :)
As always, you creep me out a bit, and make me tingle... not unlike some of my favorite boyfriends. ;)
lol
Thanks Deano.
Loved it!
Cat
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Yikes! ok, i wish I could send you a photo of the goosebumps on my arms right now... *shivers*...
still shivering.... it got creepily cold just now.
ok...
I really liked this story... the girl in the mirror yikes (makes mental note to remove any and all mirrors from the bedroom before bedtime tonight)
I was wondering about very tense... you seemed to be speaking in present tense for most of it... and then it changed and changed back.... like:
'I jump out of bed. I have to turn on the lamp sitting on my night stand a bunch of times before I can finally go back to sleep.'
(like... i believe it's present tense... right?)
'Tonight, the door flew open hitting the wall so hard it woke me up. A really bad storm was carrying on outside. Through the skylight in the roof I see lightning flash. The elongated, finger-like shadows of trees dance across my wall, creep across the floor, then perch like hungry vultures above me. The storm gets worse as the trees are rocked by really strong winds.'
(same... but then)
'My night light's gone out.'
(I guess that's ok, right?)
(then)
'Dad smiled, nodding toward the mirror. "
(should that be 'smiles'?)
anyway... that's the only thing... besides this at the top:
'A multi-authored collection of micro & flash horror fiction by fellow FanStroy contributors'
FanStroy? ;)
(you might wanna change that part) :)
As always, you creep me out a bit, and make me tingle... not unlike some of my favorite boyfriends. ;)
lol
Thanks Deano.
Loved it!
Cat
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Cat. Someone else pointed out the tense issue earlier, and I changed it to "smiles".
I'm very glad that you 'enjoyed' the story, if enjoyed is the proper word. At the very least, I hope you found it entertaining, if nothing else.
I very much appreciate your suggsetions and review.
~Dean
