Gentle Rains
Thoughts from a sermon23 total reviews
Comment from snooker155
good spiritual poem showing true love and faith in God. It is so lovely it could be used as a prayer but I didn't give it five or six stars as those who are not religious might feel you are pushing your ideas about the love of Jesus on to them but otherwise a splendid write. God Bless You and well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
   |
good spiritual poem showing true love and faith in God. It is so lovely it could be used as a prayer but I didn't give it five or six stars as those who are not religious might feel you are pushing your ideas about the love of Jesus on to them but otherwise a splendid write. God Bless You and well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
-
Thanks for the review. I am not trying to push anything on others, I just want to share what God lays on my heart to write. I cannot control what other feel.
Comment from misscookie
As always you touched me with your words.
That must have been a wonderful service.
For you to relate to it so lovely in poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
|
As always you touched me with your words.
That must have been a wonderful service.
For you to relate to it so lovely in poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 05-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
-
Miss Cookie than you for the nice review.
Comment from rama devi
This is beautiful...like a hymn of gratitude and rapture. I enjoyed the sweetness and depth of faith as well as the gentle tone and smooth flow. The consonance of S sounds augments the hushed feeling of serenity. especially with words like assurance, presence and tenderness. Lovely.
My only suggestion is to consider using a synonym instead of repeating the word GENTLE twice in one stanza, here:
In the gentle rains
I hear the name of Jesus.
In the gentle winds
example:
In the gentle rains
I hear the name of Jesus.
In the docile winds
(I tried to choose a synonym that continues the soft C sounds woven through the write...feel free to use that word if it resonates with your muse, or choose your own from the many options available for conveying gentleness).
God Bless.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
|
This is beautiful...like a hymn of gratitude and rapture. I enjoyed the sweetness and depth of faith as well as the gentle tone and smooth flow. The consonance of S sounds augments the hushed feeling of serenity. especially with words like assurance, presence and tenderness. Lovely.
My only suggestion is to consider using a synonym instead of repeating the word GENTLE twice in one stanza, here:
In the gentle rains
I hear the name of Jesus.
In the gentle winds
example:
In the gentle rains
I hear the name of Jesus.
In the docile winds
(I tried to choose a synonym that continues the soft C sounds woven through the write...feel free to use that word if it resonates with your muse, or choose your own from the many options available for conveying gentleness).
God Bless.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
-
Thanks Rama for the great review and for the suggestion. I appreciate it greatly.
-
Thanks for your gracious response, P.
Best, rd
-
Rama, I made a couple of minor changes to this poem as your review got me to think a little more about how to improve it.
-
Great! I like your choice of LIGHT to replace the second gentle. Well done! It is a pun, too--meaning gentle and also light-filled breezes.
Glad you revised!
Warmly, rd
