Joe and Aunt Grace
The ghosts in my Aunt's House.24 total reviews
Comment from cj lutton
Excellent storyline and presentation. Your character development regarding Joe is beautifully crafted. Making your story, obviously an actual occurrence.
Very well done, and I look forward to hearing how the work on the house progresses.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Excellent storyline and presentation. Your character development regarding Joe is beautifully crafted. Making your story, obviously an actual occurrence.
Very well done, and I look forward to hearing how the work on the house progresses.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from RodG
I really enjoyed reading this story about your aunt & uncle's old house and the new owner Joe. We get a clear picture of the house BEFORE & AFTER. But your story would benefit from more descriptive details. Too often you TELL us what you did (or he did) rather than SHOW us. For example, you tell us Joe is scruffy, but we never do get a clear image of him. Good narration is ACTION+ DETAILS.
Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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I really enjoyed reading this story about your aunt & uncle's old house and the new owner Joe. We get a clear picture of the house BEFORE & AFTER. But your story would benefit from more descriptive details. Too often you TELL us what you did (or he did) rather than SHOW us. For example, you tell us Joe is scruffy, but we never do get a clear image of him. Good narration is ACTION+ DETAILS.
Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I will take your suggestions to heart.
Comment from Jacob Collins
I'm not sure if I beleive, Joe as well but it is a nice thought to think that your aunt Grace and uncle Claude are still living in their old home. Whenever I pass by my grandparents old home it always brings back so many memories, I don't like to think of what it could be like inside as it wouldn't be the same. I enjoyed reading this piece and I laughed when you gave your aunt and uncle the thumbs up for bothering Joe and the revelation that it was his ex wife that they didn't like. I just spotted one error that I've listed below:
"Sort of, Joe replied, I had to agree to replace the porch - you need closing quotation marks befor Joe and opening ones before I.
A well written piece, good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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I'm not sure if I beleive, Joe as well but it is a nice thought to think that your aunt Grace and uncle Claude are still living in their old home. Whenever I pass by my grandparents old home it always brings back so many memories, I don't like to think of what it could be like inside as it wouldn't be the same. I enjoyed reading this piece and I laughed when you gave your aunt and uncle the thumbs up for bothering Joe and the revelation that it was his ex wife that they didn't like. I just spotted one error that I've listed below:
"Sort of, Joe replied, I had to agree to replace the porch - you need closing quotation marks befor Joe and opening ones before I.
A well written piece, good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I appreciate helpful comments of any kind. Grammar is my weak point.
Comment from chcbeck
What a great piece, I thoroughly was gripped wanting to know more about your aunt and uncle. Can't wait for your next visit, thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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What a great piece, I thoroughly was gripped wanting to know more about your aunt and uncle. Can't wait for your next visit, thanks for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
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Thanks. I intend to go back to see Joe and will write more on the subject.
