Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written artful poem. Each masterpiece starts with an empty canvas. There was nothing when the earth was created until His masterpiece came to life.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much. I am very appreciative of your lovely review and kind words.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Exceptional

I am no expert on haiku poetry by a long shot, Anonymous Poet. Having said that, however, I like to think I know enough about the form to know what will and will not resonate with readers and those who adore this style of poetry.
This is one which will be truly adored.
For one, you've utilized a 4/7/4 syllable count, which I have discovered always seems to translate well to the more Westernized form of haiku.
Second, anything which pays homage to the Master Creator, God, the Divine Being--or whatever connotation you wish to attach to the Omnipotent, Omnipresent "One"--is always well received here on FanStory.
Allow me to join that camp.
This is a most stunning haiku entry.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much, my dearest friend. I am very appreciative of your lovely review and kind words.

reply by Dean Kuch on 03-Jul-2016

My pleasure.
Best of luck. :)

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

And a blank computer screen should promise the potential of immortal words that soar and move the souls of all mankind. It ain't happened yet.
Looks like a fine Haiku to me...

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much. I am very appreciative of your lovely review and kind words.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very good on the haiku, God did start with an empty canvas and created something beautiful. good luck on this and enjoy your day

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much. I am very appreciative of your lovely review and kind words.

Comment from djeckert

Excellent

certainly a great homage of the power of the creator to make something of the empty canvas. Really well said. I wonder about the 4-7-4 structure... not that I care ...for I kind of disdain strict formal writing, but maybe im mistaken on haiku form somewhat.. but i liked it anyways. God surely blesses

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Hello, DJ, Thank you for the awesome review. :)

I am with you, I hate strict formal writing too. My favorite type of poetry is free verse and haiku.

I have been writing haiku for a year and a half and I study it quite a bit because I have a passion for it. I could write about it for hours but I don't want bore you. LoL I will briefly share a couple of things about syllables in haiku. At the end of the comment I will add links you may check.

In classical haiku the Japanese masters, like BASHO, used the 5/7/5 formula but Japanese syllables are different than English so they don't translate well. For example, see Basho's haiku below. [ Basho is considered the best haikuist in history]


A snowy morning--
by myself,
chewing on dried salmon. (as you can see the syllable count is 5/3/6 )


written by Matsuo Basho, 17th century


source:
http://poemhunter.com/poem/a-snowy-morning/





http://poemhunter.com/poem/a-snowy-morning/

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mystery author, this is a very good entry for this particular competition, brilliant words to accompany brilliant artwork I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much, Eric. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback. Have a wonderful holiday.

reply by Eric1 on 03-Jul-2016

You are most welcome my friend.

Comment from joannakruk

Excellent

Great double meaning, the earth as one's master and simultaneously, the, masterpiece. It drew me to think about our relationship with nature. We use, abuse, taint, destroy and harm the resources bestowed to us by mother nature. We become so confident in our power to harvest and control we believe we reign supreme. But when mother nature becomes angered, we are completely powerless to her. Floods, earthquakes, comets, plagues, all aspects of her that we cannot predict nor fight. She is the supreme, we are but minions.
Great piece.
Jo :-)

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much for the lovely review of my haiku. You are very kind and your feedback is appreciated.

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Ah, beautiful and subtle. You are painterly with your words to describe God's masterpiece--earth and all the life upon it. Thank you for sharing your poem about creation. I wish you success in the contest.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much for the lovely review of my haiku. You are very kind and your feedback is appreciated.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

A very interesting take on Genesis I. I like the use of artist/canvas metaphor.
The word "promises" is especially intriguing as it suggests God knew beforehand EXACTLY what He would create.


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Thank you very much for the lovely review of my haiku. You are very kind and your feedback is appreciated.

Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Hi

I really like your choice of words depicting our beutifuk earth/ environment as a work of art. Masterpiece, but unfortunately i wouldn't call this piece a haiku. But does meat contest requirement in which is why i have granted 5 stars.

Good job and good luck in the contest.

Regards
Tia

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

---

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

I am curious to know what you call a haiku and why you think this does not. Would you enlighten me?

reply by Galactia on 03-Jul-2016

HiThe Haiku poetry form has always been based on subtlty. I feel your poem has used to much metaphores to project your ideas/picture to readers. I did see a good example within this contest. The poet called their poem. (Frigate bird's follow) it told the story, projected an image to readers and only bit of metaphore used in it was used very cleaverly and subtly with the use of the word (junk) depicti g the junk boats and the refferencing of junk, meaning garbage.

Regards
Tia

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

The haikuist who wrote that haiku you mention is a very good friend of mine, I know it's him because I created the contest and I can see everyone's name.

I agree, his haiku is outstanding.

I don't agree with you about my haiku but you are entitled to your opinion.

I checked your portfolio and I don't care for your haiku style either.

I study classical haiku. Basho's haiku is what got me started. I don't believe in having too many rules. I follow the basic haiku rules, and although this haiku I wrote is more westernized, I write classical haiku as well. My haiku are just fine and I also have my own personal style. If you ever check my portfolio you will see that I write a lot of haiku.

Out of all the reviews, I got so far, you are the only one that said anything negative about my haiku so it's not a big deal.

reply by Galactia on 06-Jul-2016

Hi

i didn't like my haiku eaither, i am trying to improve on my traditional Haiku and my daughter wanted me to write a poem about deers, and because i had no idea about dears, thought 17 syllables or less better suited me.
Don't think for a sec i didn't like yours, i loved it, i am a big fan of metaphores, i had recently did a Vangard style Haiku that had successfully made it into june's spring/summer edition of world haiku review 2016.

https://sites.google.com/site/worldhaikureview2/june-2016/haiku-page-3-vanguard

but feel the one that won was done with the true form of haiku, the subtlness i am trying to master, my haiku's are not really that good, it's a poetry form i am trying to get better at.

Regards
Tia

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016

Thank you for the lovely and gracious response. I'm sorry about my response and for saying I don't like your style. There's nothing wrong with it. You are a good haikuist so keep it up. You are doing well and don't let anyone discourage you.

I was hurt by the contest results and I won't ever forget it. I'm deeply disappointed with the way contest are won in FS. It's a popularity contest for the most part.

I love fanstory because it's the best one in its kind. I looked. If it wasn't for good friends and because I love writing with special effects I would be gone by now. There's too much gossip and politics here.

A lot of people don't like me because I'm outspoken and because I write controversial poems. There's one person in this site that hates me and is spreading rumors about me. I can't stand her. She is a conniving cheating lier and eventually she will get kicked out. I am sure.

I said I don't like your style because I was hurt that you said my haiku is not a haiku. It was a childish thing to do and I apologize. Sometimes I say things I latter regret because I'm an emotional person. But I have no problem apologizing when I know I was wrong.



Dean's haiku was the best. When I read it and saw his perfect presentation I knew he was going to win. I am immensely happy that he won. He earned his award.

Winning contests is not important to me. It was not about that.

I have a deep passion about haiku. To me it is the best kind of poetry and I believe art should be allowed. Haiga has been an important part of haiku since the 17th century and art is very important to me.

Congratulations with your success. You made it into june's spring/summer edition of world haiku review 2016! That's awesome!

Thank you, you should have placed better in the contest.

Thank you,

Gypsy