2016 GYPSY's HAIKU
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "3/7/3 haiku ( spirit soars )"a published book of haiku
33 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Gypsy
This is an interesting haiga
I like the minimalist haiku very much
with just a touch of alliteration
Excellent imagery of both sight and sound
with solid connection
and a very fine satori third line
reflecting back to the first line
The picture is nice, but I would have preferred
minimal art work to match the poem
knowing I'm probably a minority of "one" lol
I know you and Dean are blazing new pathways
of presentation with animated work
So I'll just praise your new creations
One note: I'm sure if you should have "wolf's cry" or "wolve's cries"
for consistency with above cypress.
Well done, my friend
RS
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Hello Gypsy
This is an interesting haiga
I like the minimalist haiku very much
with just a touch of alliteration
Excellent imagery of both sight and sound
with solid connection
and a very fine satori third line
reflecting back to the first line
The picture is nice, but I would have preferred
minimal art work to match the poem
knowing I'm probably a minority of "one" lol
I know you and Dean are blazing new pathways
of presentation with animated work
So I'll just praise your new creations
One note: I'm sure if you should have "wolf's cry" or "wolve's cries"
for consistency with above cypress.
Well done, my friend
RS
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you very much for the understanding review. I like your suggestion about wolf's cry.
Gypsy
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Gypsy,
This is a beautiful presentation. Love the artwork. Your few lines say so much about the culture & even you. Your spirit is rising above the hurt & loneliness to share with others.
Would the word [ as] fit better than and ? I know it is your work, so file 13 = trash.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Gypsy,
This is a beautiful presentation. Love the artwork. Your few lines say so much about the culture & even you. Your spirit is rising above the hurt & loneliness to share with others.
Would the word [ as] fit better than and ? I know it is your work, so file 13 = trash.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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I had as first and it didn't read well. It sounded like I was comparing the first and the second line. What do you think?
Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Gypsy
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I thought the wolves cry and the spirit soaring were happening at the same time. I did not see them as being compared. Either way I believe is fine. [what about the word while ]. I know you will make a great decision no matter what. Jan
Comment from jlsavell
gypsy, someone once said.. "I take pain and I turn it into art, this is my life" Pablo Picasso said.. "Art is the washing away from the soul the dust of our life". It truly is cathartic, whether its is by word or by stroke of brush.. well done.. jimi
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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gypsy, someone once said.. "I take pain and I turn it into art, this is my life" Pablo Picasso said.. "Art is the washing away from the soul the dust of our life". It truly is cathartic, whether its is by word or by stroke of brush.. well done.. jimi
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you very much, Jimi, I couldn't have put it better. Excellent review, sweetie pie.
Gypsy
Comment from krys123
Hi Gypsy;
-I thought that this haiku was very attractive and presented extremely well and yet
and somehow the sound seem to slightly and after a moment disrupted my concentration to delve into the writing so I silenced it. Then I had a clear mind to be such a delightful piece.
-I really like the first two grammatically connected lines that had a great influence on the artistic presentation of your haiku and which presented an imagery that was very visual and very exciting. This excitement was exactly about my association with my own spirit soaring while I was at a camp fire being rejuvenated by the outdoors. This rejuvenation included the sounds and sights of the wolves howling in the stars shining.
-The satori was written as "brave ashes" confused me at first but then I realized that it was about the fire protecting someone and then I thought it was me from the howling of the wolves and the secretive night. This gave me the sense of a great moment in your writing and subsequently summarized the relativity of the conceptual theme of your writing.
-After further review, however, I realize no sense of a season even though it may have represented this summer could have been the spring or fall so there is no direct association to a particular season if there were any and a picture not present
a specific season either.
-The picture with well-chosen footage writing as it also help imagery's decision of the context of where it was and how it looked benefited the haiku very well.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Hi Gypsy;
-I thought that this haiku was very attractive and presented extremely well and yet
and somehow the sound seem to slightly and after a moment disrupted my concentration to delve into the writing so I silenced it. Then I had a clear mind to be such a delightful piece.
-I really like the first two grammatically connected lines that had a great influence on the artistic presentation of your haiku and which presented an imagery that was very visual and very exciting. This excitement was exactly about my association with my own spirit soaring while I was at a camp fire being rejuvenated by the outdoors. This rejuvenation included the sounds and sights of the wolves howling in the stars shining.
-The satori was written as "brave ashes" confused me at first but then I realized that it was about the fire protecting someone and then I thought it was me from the howling of the wolves and the secretive night. This gave me the sense of a great moment in your writing and subsequently summarized the relativity of the conceptual theme of your writing.
-After further review, however, I realize no sense of a season even though it may have represented this summer could have been the spring or fall so there is no direct association to a particular season if there were any and a picture not present
a specific season either.
-The picture with well-chosen footage writing as it also help imagery's decision of the context of where it was and how it looked benefited the haiku very well.
-Good luck in the contest and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Alex, I don't tell you enough, the way I appreciate your reviews and feedback. Thank you sweetie pie. Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from Mastery
Hello, dear soul. I hope all is well with you. I was reading your author notes, gypsy and am in complete agreement with you. I dom have to be honest here though. LOL...I don't quite understand the meaning of the haiku itself. sorry. enlighten me will you, Please? :) Bob
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Hello, dear soul. I hope all is well with you. I was reading your author notes, gypsy and am in complete agreement with you. I dom have to be honest here though. LOL...I don't quite understand the meaning of the haiku itself. sorry. enlighten me will you, Please? :) Bob
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Imagine a silent night up in the hills of a native American reservation. The cremation fire is almost extinguished and the smoke from the embers is raising over cedar trees. The fire engulfed the remains of a brave soldier. That was the picture in my mind when I pp this Poem but different people see different tImagine a silent night up in the hills of a native American reservation. The cremation fire is almost extinguished and the smoke from the embers is raising over cedar trees. The fire engulfed the remains of a brave soldier.hings and that is alright. Art is in the eye of the beholder.
Thank you, my dear friend.
Gypsy
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
I love your poem and it was a delight to read. You're great at writing poetry.
I've decided to put pictures, that I have made, with as many of my poems as I can.
I love the picture that you put with this poem.
Kat
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Hi Gypsy,
I love your poem and it was a delight to read. You're great at writing poetry.
I've decided to put pictures, that I have made, with as many of my poems as I can.
I love the picture that you put with this poem.
Kat
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you very much, sweetie pie.
Gypsy
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
You did a powerful haiku and the notes were magnificient to go with your explanation.
I too believe art is an expression that goes with the true consciousness of poetry and the one you chose is expressive.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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You did a powerful haiku and the notes were magnificient to go with your explanation.
I too believe art is an expression that goes with the true consciousness of poetry and the one you chose is expressive.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you
Comment from William Ross
I'm with you I enjoy art work with my writings, helps express what I wrote just a bit more. Nice job on the haiku, great art work to go with it.Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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I'm with you I enjoy art work with my writings, helps express what I wrote just a bit more. Nice job on the haiku, great art work to go with it.Thanks for sharing and have a great day.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you
Comment from Annette Gulliver
Your passion for art shows through in all of your posts. This particular piece of art is beautiful, and your haiku conveys what the eye sees. The peaceful, yet haunting music is a great touch.
Annette :=)
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Your passion for art shows through in all of your posts. This particular piece of art is beautiful, and your haiku conveys what the eye sees. The peaceful, yet haunting music is a great touch.
Annette :=)
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Gypsy
Comment from danpald
The beauty of the world
Calls forth Art to form
Be it with color and ink
On canvas or paper worn
Each one is like the call
Of the wolves at evening time
Calling forth the spirits
To live in our lives
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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The beauty of the world
Calls forth Art to form
Be it with color and ink
On canvas or paper worn
Each one is like the call
Of the wolves at evening time
Calling forth the spirits
To live in our lives
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Thank you