The Good Dog
...things aren't what they seem58 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Sure ya do, Patty.
We all have a "dark side".
ALL of us do.
You just can't be afraid to allow yourself to tap into it, that's all. For some, it is a very uncomfortable experience. But it can also be a liberating experience as well.
You know what I do when contemplating a horror story? I think about the things that horrify me the most:
The death of a child (God forbid!).
Sharks.
Contracting rabies.
Drinking a poisoned potion that transforms me into something or someone truly evil (No wisecracks please...ahem...).
A home invasion, and someone hurting my animals (may God have mercy on those individuals because they're gonna DIE... painfully!).
Being buried alive.
Waking up in the middle of a serious, very invasive surgical procedure.
My garbage can (it always looks hungry--like it wants to take a bite outta me when I drag it to the curb!)
Ya know...stuff like that?
Don't we get to know your horror host's name?
Like Putrid Patricia, or Patty the Batty, perhaps?
It's much easier to identify with this type of story if your horror host's character has a name.
After all, Tales from the Crypt has the Crypt Keeper.
Just a suggestion...
Jimi came when he was called. Only his toys were chewed on; never furniture, shoes or people. ... Bad dog, Jimi. You at least have to go after and bite the mailman every now and then! ...
Her perfume was a joy to smell and he patiently waited for the rub to be over. Next, she would give him a treat - the best part of the day! ... The best part of ANY dogs' day...besides chasing the mailman, of course. Heh-heh-heh...
There was one problem, Jimi feared this strange smelling man. How could a man give off the scent of a wolf? ... Because he was a werewolf, perhaps? Or a lycanthrope at the very least...
Dr. Terry Fying's Skull 'O' Meter
G-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrrrrreat story, Patty. I especially enjoyed the ""twisted" ending.
The only thing I would recommend is to give your horror hostess a name.
Thank you for your participation.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Sure ya do, Patty.
We all have a "dark side".
ALL of us do.
You just can't be afraid to allow yourself to tap into it, that's all. For some, it is a very uncomfortable experience. But it can also be a liberating experience as well.
You know what I do when contemplating a horror story? I think about the things that horrify me the most:
The death of a child (God forbid!).
Sharks.
Contracting rabies.
Drinking a poisoned potion that transforms me into something or someone truly evil (No wisecracks please...ahem...).
A home invasion, and someone hurting my animals (may God have mercy on those individuals because they're gonna DIE... painfully!).
Being buried alive.
Waking up in the middle of a serious, very invasive surgical procedure.
My garbage can (it always looks hungry--like it wants to take a bite outta me when I drag it to the curb!)
Ya know...stuff like that?
Don't we get to know your horror host's name?
Like Putrid Patricia, or Patty the Batty, perhaps?
It's much easier to identify with this type of story if your horror host's character has a name.
After all, Tales from the Crypt has the Crypt Keeper.
Just a suggestion...
Jimi came when he was called. Only his toys were chewed on; never furniture, shoes or people. ... Bad dog, Jimi. You at least have to go after and bite the mailman every now and then! ...
Her perfume was a joy to smell and he patiently waited for the rub to be over. Next, she would give him a treat - the best part of the day! ... The best part of ANY dogs' day...besides chasing the mailman, of course. Heh-heh-heh...
There was one problem, Jimi feared this strange smelling man. How could a man give off the scent of a wolf? ... Because he was a werewolf, perhaps? Or a lycanthrope at the very least...
G-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrrrrreat story, Patty. I especially enjoyed the ""twisted" ending.
The only thing I would recommend is to give your horror hostess a name.
Thank you for your participation.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi Dean;
sorry for the delay in replying; I am SO thrilled you thought this was good. I did go back and add a name for my host, but I will try to edit the introduction some more before the actual deadline pops up.
Thank you for challenging me to try to write in the horror genre. It was a push for me, and a tad uncomfortable, but in the end, I was pleased with the story - it kept changing on me!
Looking forward to reading the other entries,
~patty~
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You've done a bang-up job, Patty.
Horror is not gore, nor is the opposite the same.
A horror story need not have a plethora of dismembered bodies or buckets of blood to be a horror story. That's not even horror to me.
Horror is more psychological and gets under your skin.
Sometimes without you even realizing why.
Great writing!
Thanks again for your participation.
Comment from Mabaker
Oh, that was sad. Poor Jimi how he loved his lady and how sad he had to die, but maybe that was the only solution, at least he was with her and peaceful. A lovey story. Well done. Sincerely Mabaker
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Oh, that was sad. Poor Jimi how he loved his lady and how sad he had to die, but maybe that was the only solution, at least he was with her and peaceful. A lovey story. Well done. Sincerely Mabaker
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from Hitcher
One cannot fault the writing of your story friend, it is very well written, the HORROR element leaned more toward a Brother's Grimm story... but as you know some of those stories have been made into blockbuster horror movies worthy of viewing by all : ) I enjoyed your take on the contest friend, your story held my attention with relative ease and I definitely enjoyed the twist at the end though I'm sure that would have been your least favorite part, ha ha. Well done!!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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One cannot fault the writing of your story friend, it is very well written, the HORROR element leaned more toward a Brother's Grimm story... but as you know some of those stories have been made into blockbuster horror movies worthy of viewing by all : ) I enjoyed your take on the contest friend, your story held my attention with relative ease and I definitely enjoyed the twist at the end though I'm sure that would have been your least favorite part, ha ha. Well done!!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from Lindagail Hall
Wow! I'm a big dog lover and know how strong that bond can be between dog and owner. You almost made me ry shooting the poor dog, this kept my attention from start to the sad end. I can't write horror so can imagine how difficult this was but its not forced at all think maybe more practice you would have it down to a tee it's good to go outside our comfort zone. You did a strong write I wouldn't change anything at all. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Wow! I'm a big dog lover and know how strong that bond can be between dog and owner. You almost made me ry shooting the poor dog, this kept my attention from start to the sad end. I can't write horror so can imagine how difficult this was but its not forced at all think maybe more practice you would have it down to a tee it's good to go outside our comfort zone. You did a strong write I wouldn't change anything at all. Good job.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes my friend this is well written my friend you set the scene very well in the opening I enjoyed poor doggy though case of mistaken identity I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Yes my friend this is well written my friend you set the scene very well in the opening I enjoyed poor doggy though case of mistaken identity I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from dweigt
Nice little horror story. And told from the view of the dog. Love it!
Just a couple nits to pick...
It shook him to his very core. -- A little bit of a cliche. Can you find another, more doggy way to say this?
he heard an eerie howl. -- eerie is a weak, over-used word. Better if you can describe it, and let us realize it is eerie.
Great stuff. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Nice little horror story. And told from the view of the dog. Love it!
Just a couple nits to pick...
It shook him to his very core. -- A little bit of a cliche. Can you find another, more doggy way to say this?
he heard an eerie howl. -- eerie is a weak, over-used word. Better if you can describe it, and let us realize it is eerie.
Great stuff. Keep writing!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from Asem.inspirations
I could not believe what I was reading. I had to check again to see if somehow I ended up reading a Dean story. I know though that he usually writes poetry.
Yes, this was vety unusual for you, two murders, the lady and the dog. Wow, I can imagine it was difficult but it was a good write.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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I could not believe what I was reading. I had to check again to see if somehow I ended up reading a Dean story. I know though that he usually writes poetry.
Yes, this was vety unusual for you, two murders, the lady and the dog. Wow, I can imagine it was difficult but it was a good write.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from bookishfabler
What a freaking sad story.
Only his toys were chewed on; never furniture, shoes or people. (Mine too)
He is gorgeous.
At first I thought this was a true doggie story. I had to look back when I started reading about a werewolf.
good luck in the contest
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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What a freaking sad story.
Only his toys were chewed on; never furniture, shoes or people. (Mine too)
He is gorgeous.
At first I thought this was a true doggie story. I had to look back when I started reading about a werewolf.
good luck in the contest
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Patty
Good pace and flow. You've captured the horror caused by the werewolf while gradually building towards the unfortunate climax where Jimi is shot and killed. Maybe it was for the best, for what would have happened to Jimi since his mistress was gone? Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Good morning, Patty
Good pace and flow. You've captured the horror caused by the werewolf while gradually building towards the unfortunate climax where Jimi is shot and killed. Maybe it was for the best, for what would have happened to Jimi since his mistress was gone? Enjoyed.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
Comment from Realist101
Hi Patty! This is excellent. :) I like this. Reminds me a lot of Cujo. And yes, it's hard to make dogs be the villains. But you carried this off well -- horror isn't that easy, but fun to try. Best to you in all things. Susan
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
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Hi Patty! This is excellent. :) I like this. Reminds me a lot of Cujo. And yes, it's hard to make dogs be the villains. But you carried this off well -- horror isn't that easy, but fun to try. Best to you in all things. Susan
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
Hi there; thank you so much for reading my first attempt at horror. I ultimately liked this story, but I had a hard time pulling it out of my pen. I'm glad you enjoyed and I appreciate your time to review,
~patty~
