Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Summer Days"My book of poems and stories
28 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
Well this is just magnificent. I loved every line. It flows smoothly, rhymes well, and is just utterly beautiful. An awesome entry!!! Blessings....
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
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Well this is just magnificent. I loved every line. It flows smoothly, rhymes well, and is just utterly beautiful. An awesome entry!!! Blessings....
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
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Wow. I really appreciate the six star rating. I thank you so very much and have a great day.
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It's just beautiful!!
Comment from pome lover
this is lovely and wistful. I like the way your thoughts flow from line to line - not ending at each line. The only phrase that stopped me, and I read it over and over, was "As summer days...", beginning the fourth line. What did summer days do? you go on from there but not about summer days.
I hope you don't mind my comment.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
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this is lovely and wistful. I like the way your thoughts flow from line to line - not ending at each line. The only phrase that stopped me, and I read it over and over, was "As summer days...", beginning the fourth line. What did summer days do? you go on from there but not about summer days.
I hope you don't mind my comment.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
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I like your comment and that is what review is all about. I did go back and change that word to 'on'. I had the same comment from another person. I do thank you.
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great. that reads much better.
you're most welcome.
Comment from pipersfancy
This is a beautifully lyrical and nostalgic poem!
One minor suggestion for the poet's consideration:
As summer days I spent in awe
-grammatically, this phrase does not work.
Consider a one word exchange for the word "as" e.g.:
Those/Long/Hot summer days I spent in awe
Best wishes for the contest,
pf
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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This is a beautifully lyrical and nostalgic poem!
One minor suggestion for the poet's consideration:
As summer days I spent in awe
-grammatically, this phrase does not work.
Consider a one word exchange for the word "as" e.g.:
Those/Long/Hot summer days I spent in awe
Best wishes for the contest,
pf
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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I honestly appreciate your review as it has brought to my attention a way to correct that line. Unfortunately I cannot use all of your suggestion as it throws off the 8 syllable count for that line but I can change the 'As' to On' which will tie it into the previous line much better. Thank you so very much.
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I certainly didn't intend for the poet to use all three suggested words - LOL! - but it seems she has found a much better solution than I had suggested! Cheers!
pf
Comment from LaRosa
Novo Ovo sounds hard to me, and yet you make it look easy.
In spite of the hurricane bad news we are all so focused on the last few day, your poem of light and joy comes to spill beauty on our ears.
I relate, as I too love water and all the sensual beauty it provides. This calms my soul. It makes me smile with joyful reverie, the desire to be a mermaid. :))
You have a gift for the descriptive. This reader is on that shore!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Novo Ovo sounds hard to me, and yet you make it look easy.
In spite of the hurricane bad news we are all so focused on the last few day, your poem of light and joy comes to spill beauty on our ears.
I relate, as I too love water and all the sensual beauty it provides. This calms my soul. It makes me smile with joyful reverie, the desire to be a mermaid. :))
You have a gift for the descriptive. This reader is on that shore!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review. This is a new style for me to experiment with. I love writing in the different types of poetry that until about a year ago I was not even aware of. Blessings to you.
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and, to you too!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Nove Otto. A wonderful summer holiday at the ocean. The fresh air and the salty spray in the hair. There is nothing better than a relaxing holiday.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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A very well-written Nove Otto. A wonderful summer holiday at the ocean. The fresh air and the salty spray in the hair. There is nothing better than a relaxing holiday.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review. This is a new style for me to experiment with. I love writing in the different types of poetry that until about a year ago I was not even aware of. Blessings to you.
Comment from smileycloud
a very lovely nove otto
good luck in the contest
memories are the connection to our loved ones and our life
we become frail and thoughts fade
but they still remain strong in our hearts
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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a very lovely nove otto
good luck in the contest
memories are the connection to our loved ones and our life
we become frail and thoughts fade
but they still remain strong in our hearts
have a smiley day
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review. This is a new style for me to experiment with. I love writing in the different types of poetry that until about a year ago I was not even aware of. Blessings to you.
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yes
when I first came to FS
I had to Google the word Acrostic
as my lack of education did not allow room for poetry an the likes
You have done well
have a smiley day
Comment from patcelaw
Annie, this is a lovely poem in the format, You rhyming is very good and the syllable count is spot on. I wish you the very best in the contest. Many blessings for a great day. Patricia
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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Annie, this is a lovely poem in the format, You rhyming is very good and the syllable count is spot on. I wish you the very best in the contest. Many blessings for a great day. Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review. This is a new style for me to experiment with. I love writing in the different types of poetry that until about a year ago I was not even aware of. Blessings to you.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
It flows so immaculately with the rhyme and sing/song rhythm.
This is an excellent addition to the contest and very well done
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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It flows so immaculately with the rhyme and sing/song rhythm.
This is an excellent addition to the contest and very well done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your kind review. This is a new style for me to experiment with. I love writing in the different types of poetry that until about a year ago I was not even aware of. Blessings to you.