Emancipation Day
I licked my lips and you, like Texas barbecue.46 total reviews
Comment from Thal1959
A very well written work, although the use of sexually explicit words will only turn off a few readers. But that is your prerogative to use them. I appreciate the history lesson. I think a lot of people like me simply assumed when the emancipation proclamation became law, it just went into work somewhat casual and unnoticed like.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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A very well written work, although the use of sexually explicit words will only turn off a few readers. But that is your prerogative to use them. I appreciate the history lesson. I think a lot of people like me simply assumed when the emancipation proclamation became law, it just went into work somewhat casual and unnoticed like.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Thal, I was stunned to learn that slavery persisted in Texas after the Emancipation Proclaimation until Union troops landed there two and a half years later. My family is from Texas and our ancestors were among the last slaves in Anerica. Yes, some might be turned off by the sexual explicit lines in my song, but am glad they conveyed my message about another form of slavery--sexual infidelity and addiction.. Thank you for your review.
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Thanks for the explanation.
Comment from Irish Rain
That barbecue and strawberry soda sounds good!! Love your song. Sometimes the best things can also be the worst. Especially when we wind up enslaved to them. Great entry, blessings...
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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That barbecue and strawberry soda sounds good!! Love your song. Sometimes the best things can also be the worst. Especially when we wind up enslaved to them. Great entry, blessings...
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Irish Rain, I got teary eyed and salivated when I wrote the final versus of my song. I so much want to return "home" to Texas to celebrate Juneteenth/Emancipation Day. Yes, sometimes the best things can be the worse when we become enslaved to them. Thank you for your review and blessings.
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You're welcome...I hope you get to go home!!
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This is an emotive piece of writing and it struck many a chord with me. There is no success in cheating. Perhaps a little bit of pleasure but in the end if you aren't serious what exactly is there left? Good luck. I truly thought this write inspired. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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This is an emotive piece of writing and it struck many a chord with me. There is no success in cheating. Perhaps a little bit of pleasure but in the end if you aren't serious what exactly is there left? Good luck. I truly thought this write inspired. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Kiwi, there is no success in cheating. Thank you for your review of my inspired write and for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from RGstar
I wasn't sure if I got the connection between Emancipation Day and the affair or good time.
The occasion couldn't have created the moment, just the opportunity.
I thought the day much more of an importance than mix it in as an item of frivolity. It kind of felt you were making fun of the occasion which is celebrated, though I am not sure that was your aim.
Besides that;
"Strawberry soda pop.
Orgasms that won't stop.
I licked my lips and you,
like Texas barbecue."
Brilliant writing...a real catch phrase embedded.
Wasn't comfortable with the write, but recognize some really good pieces of writing here.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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I wasn't sure if I got the connection between Emancipation Day and the affair or good time.
The occasion couldn't have created the moment, just the opportunity.
I thought the day much more of an importance than mix it in as an item of frivolity. It kind of felt you were making fun of the occasion which is celebrated, though I am not sure that was your aim.
Besides that;
"Strawberry soda pop.
Orgasms that won't stop.
I licked my lips and you,
like Texas barbecue."
Brilliant writing...a real catch phrase embedded.
Wasn't comfortable with the write, but recognize some really good pieces of writing here.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, RG, for your review and contest best wishes. Yes, the ending of an affair, even if it was a good time, can feel like emancipation from the guilt, grief, hidin' and lyin' involved. Thanks for noting my embedded catch phrase.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good entry in the songwriting contest. I doubt that few people outside of Texas ever heard of Emancipation Day before. You're educating people as you entertain them.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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A very good entry in the songwriting contest. I doubt that few people outside of Texas ever heard of Emancipation Day before. You're educating people as you entertain them.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Thomas, for your generous review. Known as Juneteenth, Freedom Day, or Emancipation Day, the holiday is celebrated in forty-five states and the District of Columbia. I am glad my song entertained and educated people.
Comment from Hitcher
When one gives in to Temptation it can ruin one's reputation and cause a world of hurt and guilt to rain down on someone if the secret ever gets out.
It is a great song, with many a cool line and accomplished rhyme. Good luck in the contest friend, a contender for sure : )
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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When one gives in to Temptation it can ruin one's reputation and cause a world of hurt and guilt to rain down on someone if the secret ever gets out.
It is a great song, with many a cool line and accomplished rhyme. Good luck in the contest friend, a contender for sure : )
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Hitcher, affairs are devestating and have a corrosive effect. Thank you for your generous, six star review and for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from Boogienights
Wow, this is a very strong entry for the lyric contest. It had everything... Passion, regret,anger and relief. All it needs now is some music and I think it would be a hit. I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Wow, this is a very strong entry for the lyric contest. It had everything... Passion, regret,anger and relief. All it needs now is some music and I think it would be a hit. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Boogienights, for your review. I play no instrument, but I can hear the music in my head as I sing and dance my song. I enrolled in a songwriting course and this song is my first assignment for next week. Hopefully I will hook up with musicians and put music to it. Once again, thanks.
Comment from Janilou
It's an interesting twist on the topic I wasn't expecting. :-)
I became reenslaved
when willy misbehaved,
like a Gulf hurricane
tougher than any chain.
Willy
All the best. Great poem.
Jan
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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It's an interesting twist on the topic I wasn't expecting. :-)
I became reenslaved
when willy misbehaved,
like a Gulf hurricane
tougher than any chain.
Willy
All the best. Great poem.
Jan
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Jan, the twist makes my song interesting . . . sexual addition as a new form of slavery.
Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from mermaids
Your words definitely have a smooth, musical feel and flow to them. I can hear your words clearly to music. You also educate the reader about this emancipation. This is an excellent entry for the contest and I wish you well.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Your words definitely have a smooth, musical feel and flow to them. I can hear your words clearly to music. You also educate the reader about this emancipation. This is an excellent entry for the contest and I wish you well.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Mermaids, my singable, dance-able song is not all fun and game but educates the reader about the emancipation. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest.
Comment from ronnie k
I most admit I never open warning post but your pushed my values aside, racism even raised its ugly head but my poetic heart demanded "read on" now I admit that each word was a very challege THANK U
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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I most admit I never open warning post but your pushed my values aside, racism even raised its ugly head but my poetic heart demanded "read on" now I admit that each word was a very challege THANK U
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Ronnie, for your review and reading on. I usually don't read poems or songs with warnings, too. I am glad you listened to your heart.