Comment from Yemima Kebede1

Excellent

This is great! Thank you for sharing this poem. Keep up the great work that you do and I hope you and your family have a blessed weekend. Good luck in the contest! Well done.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Yemima.

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Bill: great photo of the both of you. Wow, fun poem,
keepsake for Liam. Time flies on, treasure each day.
Yes, eternity comes soon. Enjoy your family. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, fly, for the kind review. Bill

Comment from Susanjohn

Exceptional

Bill, the tanka is great...BUT thank little guy?!!!! Well, he steals the show.....so dang cute! just really liking the selfies...Enjoy that little boy! :-)))))

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thank you, Susan, for the exceptional review. Liam positively affects everyone who meets him.

Comment from Ash Bleu

Excellent

What a darling little boy!
I can't wait till I'm a grandma.
But I'm fine with being a momma right now. Lovely piece! Combination of adorable picture and piece are just lovely!

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Ash. My grandson makes my life complete.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very good on the tanka the form is right on and I like the comparisons. has some good meaning. good luck on the contest and have yourself a wonderful day

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, William for the great review. Bill

Comment from Air Spirit

Excellent

This is really a profound and exceptional poem... so profound in its implications... I love how you say "morning and days end, separated by hours" --- as if the only thing that separates the two is a few hours, and in the scheme of thing --- hours compose a lifetime as well, or the transition from 'child to adult' --- the only thing that is forever, is when we make that final transition, leave our body, and the 'dawn begins eternity' --- I wish I could give you a six-er on this --- because it really is an important, impactful and memorable poem! Exceptional!

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, AS, for this astounding review. I typically lean to humor with tankas, but this picture with my grandson called for something better. Appreciate the thorough feedback. Bill

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Beautiful just a few hours before the love can be seen again though through the darkness it never ceases, a great photo you look so proud, very well written and good luck in your competition****kahpot

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, kahpot, for the great review.

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Excellent

Hello Bill, lovely Tanka for the competition. So reflective and well written with those great word choices. I love the picture too, is that your little grandson? He looks adorable, lovely dark eyes.

The poem reflects the journey of life, and I found that rather clever to do in so few words. From our dawning to our night's end .... and onwards.

I noticed no errors and best of luck with this entry, which I enjoyed reading and reviewing, cheers, Ana.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Ana, for the great review. Bill

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

A profound and spiritual tanka, Bill! I love the picture, too. Is that you and a grandson? Very handsome little boy!
Yes, a lifetime will pass and feel just like one day after entering into eternity.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, lyenochka, for the excellent review. Bill

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Oh, the eyes on that child. Beautiful! They draw you right in. Your words are very thought provoking. Very sobering, too. Morning to day's end--just a matter of a few hours. That mean's time's wasting. Your take on the progression of life in a very effective way. Best of luck in the contest. judi

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2018

Thanks, Judi, for the great review. Yes, Liam?s eyes are absorbing.

reply by judiverse on 28-Jun-2018

You're very welcome. I'm always jealous of guys with such pretty eyes! judi