The Rose of Help
A rose helps a young man get a girlfriend28 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image, Raul1.
-You have a good syllable count.
-A good story about a special
rose and a special girl who
becomes Todd's girlfriend.
-This was a magical meeting for him.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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-Very nice image, Raul1.
-You have a good syllable count.
-A good story about a special
rose and a special girl who
becomes Todd's girlfriend.
-This was a magical meeting for him.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Thank you!😊
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You are very welcome!
Comment from Air Spirit
I love the power of this magical rose... that bequeaths love, and stirs the heart of man... Roses are truly beautiful, and a miracle of life... and giving flowers, roses specifically to your beloved, is an affirmation of of your love... so, your story made sense to me, that roses may indeed, bring 'love to life.' --- Great premise!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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I love the power of this magical rose... that bequeaths love, and stirs the heart of man... Roses are truly beautiful, and a miracle of life... and giving flowers, roses specifically to your beloved, is an affirmation of of your love... so, your story made sense to me, that roses may indeed, bring 'love to life.' --- Great premise!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Thank you! :)
Comment from Lance Polin
This is a sweet little nugget celebrating love and finding one's self in a hope for the future. That being said, the present tense is rather jarring, interrupting the flow like a car racing through a stop sign as you're about the cross the street. Hone, sculpt the language down and you may find some profundity with that soft personal truth.
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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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This is a sweet little nugget celebrating love and finding one's self in a hope for the future. That being said, the present tense is rather jarring, interrupting the flow like a car racing through a stop sign as you're about the cross the street. Hone, sculpt the language down and you may find some profundity with that soft personal truth.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Thank you!
Comment from country ranch writer
Roses are a girl's best friend they say so it was his lucky day.seems he was in the right place at the right time.I love red roses.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2018
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Roses are a girl's best friend they say so it was his lucky day.seems he was in the right place at the right time.I love red roses.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2018
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Thank you! I am happy that you like my fiction story!
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Smiles
Comment from Bill Schott
This dribble, The Rose of Help, uses fifty-two words to bring Todd a girlfriend. I'm glad Layla found her way to Todd, as I've heard he is a pretty cool dude. Happy ending.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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This dribble, The Rose of Help, uses fifty-two words to bring Todd a girlfriend. I'm glad Layla found her way to Todd, as I've heard he is a pretty cool dude. Happy ending.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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Thank you! I am so happy you liked my fiction story!
Comment from Lady Jane
She said her name is(,) Layla. - no comma needed here
answered to her(,) "Yes(.)". -punctuation inside the quotes and a comma needed to set off her answer :) and remove the second period outside the quotes (.)
In his life before(,) he had no girlfriends. - comma placement :)
What a fun read. The rose did indeed become his miracle. Interesting how it bequeathed something so fulfilling and desired. Good dribble piece, Raul. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A few nits, I've pointed out above, but nothing worth detracting a star for. Take care and keep writing,
Janelle
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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She said her name is(,) Layla. - no comma needed here
answered to her(,) "Yes(.)". -punctuation inside the quotes and a comma needed to set off her answer :) and remove the second period outside the quotes (.)
In his life before(,) he had no girlfriends. - comma placement :)
What a fun read. The rose did indeed become his miracle. Interesting how it bequeathed something so fulfilling and desired. Good dribble piece, Raul. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A few nits, I've pointed out above, but nothing worth detracting a star for. Take care and keep writing,
Janelle
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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Thank you!
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a very good contest entry. Contests are unpredictable at best. It's hard to know what the voters will like. I enter a lot of contests but seldom win. But still, it's fun to try.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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This is a very good contest entry. Contests are unpredictable at best. It's hard to know what the voters will like. I enter a lot of contests but seldom win. But still, it's fun to try.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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Thank you!
Comment from royowen
The beauty of the Rose is a symbol of what love is, a beautiful thing to beautify not only a garden, but to beautify the heart of the lonely. Well done Raul, producing a great metaphor in the poem's backdrop. Blessings, Roy
Typo : she says her name is(,) Layla.
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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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The beauty of the Rose is a symbol of what love is, a beautiful thing to beautify not only a garden, but to beautify the heart of the lonely. Well done Raul, producing a great metaphor in the poem's backdrop. Blessings, Roy
Typo : she says her name is(,) Layla.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2018
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Thank you!
