Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Sadness"My book of poems and stories
27 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow -- your words certainly do an awesome job of conveying your feelings of melancholy... your mom must have been a specail person indeed. :) Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest... :)
My favorite color is the color green. --> [repeated 'color' here is not good for flow or rhythm - perhaps us an adjective for a shade of green instead like...] My favorite color is resplendent green.
Mothers favorite --> Mother's favorite
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
   |
Wow -- your words certainly do an awesome job of conveying your feelings of melancholy... your mom must have been a specail person indeed. :) Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest... :)
My favorite color is the color green. --> [repeated 'color' here is not good for flow or rhythm - perhaps us an adjective for a shade of green instead like...] My favorite color is resplendent green.
Mothers favorite --> Mother's favorite
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your complimentary review. It has been so long since I have written anything, I was afraid as to how this piece would be received. I am working on the line you mentioned. That is a very good suggestion.
Comment from Justin Chopin
Great piece of poetry. I'm sorry for your loss but I thought this poem you did for her was amazing. The last lines you had about your mother's death being a hard wound to mend are very profound I've had those same kind of feelings when I had people pass away in my life. Keep up the great writing.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
|
Great piece of poetry. I'm sorry for your loss but I thought this poem you did for her was amazing. The last lines you had about your mother's death being a hard wound to mend are very profound I've had those same kind of feelings when I had people pass away in my life. Keep up the great writing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
-
Thank you for your complimentary review. It has been so long since I have written anything, I was afraid as to how this piece would be received.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from roof35
This is a nice tribute to your mother and the times you remember the two of you spent together. I agree looking back does make me sad sometimes and happy sometimes. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
|
This is a nice tribute to your mother and the times you remember the two of you spent together. I agree looking back does make me sad sometimes and happy sometimes. Nicely done.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
-
Memories bring sadness because the events cannot be repeated. I tried to relive them by repeating the events with my children and they will have to survive their memories as I have. Thanks so much for reviewing.
Comment from RodG
I like how the Speaker describes his walks through the pine woods with his mother, but I never get the sense that he or she were really sad. The last two lines suggest a wistfulness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
|
I like how the Speaker describes his walks through the pine woods with his mother, but I never get the sense that he or she were really sad. The last two lines suggest a wistfulness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
-
I do appreciate your comments. Perhaps I should have added a bit more history. The sadness comes from the fact that she is gone and that is not emphasized in this entry. Thank you for reviewing.
Took your advice and added another stanza.
-
You might add another stanza showing the Speaker?s sadness because his mother is now gone
Comment from Debra White
Hello :)
Your poem is beautiful.
Sadness and nostalgia walk hand in hand through those mossy woods with you and your mother.
Perfect meter, sound rhyme scheme and effective use of enjambment, all serve to make your poem flow.
Stanza 1 is my favourite - I love how you play with mood and colour.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra :)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
|
Hello :)
Your poem is beautiful.
Sadness and nostalgia walk hand in hand through those mossy woods with you and your mother.
Perfect meter, sound rhyme scheme and effective use of enjambment, all serve to make your poem flow.
Stanza 1 is my favourite - I love how you play with mood and colour.
Good luck in the voting booth.
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
-
Memories bring sadness because the events cannot be repeated. I tried to relive them by repeating the events with my children and they will have to survive their memories as I have. Thanks so much for reviewing.
Comment from January L'Angelle
I like that you took me on a little journey through the woods and also showing me your mother's favorite colors. This poem is very nostalgic. I could feel the sadness about missing your mother. This poem was really well written. Great job! -January L. :)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
|
I like that you took me on a little journey through the woods and also showing me your mother's favorite colors. This poem is very nostalgic. I could feel the sadness about missing your mother. This poem was really well written. Great job! -January L. :)
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
-
Memories bring sadness because the events cannot be repeated. I tried to relive them by repeating the events with my children and they will have to survive their memories as I have. Thanks so much for reviewing.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Sadness, defines what nostalgia truly reveals. Our losses sometimes come back to us as moments we now cherish but can never live again. Nice poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
|
This poem, Sadness, defines what nostalgia truly reveals. Our losses sometimes come back to us as moments we now cherish but can never live again. Nice poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
-
Memories bring sadness because the events cannot be repeated. I tried to relive them by repeating the events with my children and they will have to survive their memories as I have. Thanks so much for reviewing.