Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Betrayal Chapter 4"In the title.
43 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Well, Sandra, I do enjoy the story, and the characters. I'm looking forward to that meeting and se what will come from it. Something is definitely not right. But I'll have to be patient for another week. Well written and well told. A hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Well, Sandra, I do enjoy the story, and the characters. I'm looking forward to that meeting and se what will come from it. Something is definitely not right. But I'll have to be patient for another week. Well written and well told. A hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Thanks so much, Ulla, for those lovely 6 stars. No, something it definitely off. Have a lovely day, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderfully entertaining story to follow. I enjoy it immensely and cannot wait until the next post. You have a great imagination and lively characters.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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This is a wonderfully entertaining story to follow. I enjoy it immensely and cannot wait until the next post. You have a great imagination and lively characters.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Thanks so much, Rebecca, for another lovely review. I'm delighted you are enjoying it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ben Colder
Oops, busted. Half-brother? I ber her plans make the winning circle and somebody will be sorry. LOL.
Near the beginning I helped her put on her coat.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Oops, busted. Half-brother? I ber her plans make the winning circle and somebody will be sorry. LOL.
Near the beginning I helped her put on her coat.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, dear Chuck, you're always so kind to me. I'll take a look at that line you picked out. Have a really lovely day, my friend. Lots of love, Sandy. xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to see what happens at the this meeting. I really like this story and can't wait for the next post. You are doing a great job of writing. It's real and I can see it happening.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I can't wait to see what happens at the this meeting. I really like this story and can't wait for the next post. You are doing a great job of writing. It's real and I can see it happening.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for the six stars, Barbara, and the lovely review. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx
Comment from lancellot
Very good. I didn't see any errors glaring out at me. I like the deep introspective of both scenes, from their twin Points of View. The similarities and slight differences. Good work and it answered question after the first scene.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Very good. I didn't see any errors glaring out at me. I like the deep introspective of both scenes, from their twin Points of View. The similarities and slight differences. Good work and it answered question after the first scene.
Well done.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Lancellot, I really appreciated you insightful review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Thank you! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Jay Squires
He scrunched up his eyes and tipped his head back to let the water run over his face. [Great attention to detail]
With another groan, Grant reached out for his towel, [Sandra, since Grant's showering alone, consider only using his name again when otherwise it would be confusing who you were talking about, which would be rare.]
She groaned and turned over. [I'm starting to get an echo with "groan", what with Grant's groaning in the shower. Perhaps a bit of a change to "moan"?]
She put her coffee cup on the table, swung her legs off the sofa and sat up straight. [I love your attention to detail.]
She wouldn't go to his work place, she wanted somewhere less intimidating. [Is this part of her introspection? Or her actual email to him. I think I know, but should you make it clear? Perhaps something like, "She took her hands off the keys."]
You're really dragging me into this, you know. That's good. You help me so much.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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He scrunched up his eyes and tipped his head back to let the water run over his face. [Great attention to detail]
With another groan, Grant reached out for his towel, [Sandra, since Grant's showering alone, consider only using his name again when otherwise it would be confusing who you were talking about, which would be rare.]
She groaned and turned over. [I'm starting to get an echo with "groan", what with Grant's groaning in the shower. Perhaps a bit of a change to "moan"?]
She put her coffee cup on the table, swung her legs off the sofa and sat up straight. [I love your attention to detail.]
She wouldn't go to his work place, she wanted somewhere less intimidating. [Is this part of her introspection? Or her actual email to him. I think I know, but should you make it clear? Perhaps something like, "She took her hands off the keys."]
You're really dragging me into this, you know. That's good. You help me so much.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Oh, I do hope I drag you all the way, Jay, your review was so helpful and I made some changes because of it. How glad I am to have you back on FS. Thank you so much, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra. xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
That's what they all say, lol. Think she's as infatuated with him as he is with her, but they're both too stubborn to admit it. Your chapter is very well-written, interesting, realistic. Your characters really come to life. I loved the little sayings you threw in
Two heartbeats on, 'Bloody cheek! it made it more authentic.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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That's what they all say, lol. Think she's as infatuated with him as he is with her, but they're both too stubborn to admit it. Your chapter is very well-written, interesting, realistic. Your characters really come to life. I loved the little sayings you threw in
Two heartbeats on, 'Bloody cheek! it made it more authentic.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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There is something there, but as you say, neither will admit it. Lol. Thank you so very much for the six stars, my friend, and this lovely review. I do appreciate your comments so much. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It will be even worse when Blake learns she was an x-girl friend of Colin's. Evidently Colin is a cad. I didn't see any errors in your work it is rare when I do. I am caught up in your story so far. Good Job. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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It will be even worse when Blake learns she was an x-girl friend of Colin's. Evidently Colin is a cad. I didn't see any errors in your work it is rare when I do. I am caught up in your story so far. Good Job. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Hi Nancy, thank you for reading this part, I'm always concerned with your eyes. But, I'm so pleased you liked this part. You have Colin sussed out perfectly!! Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Oh, oh. I think I know what's going to happen. I love the plot you have in mind and I am enjoying this book as if it was here on my lap. Maybe I should wait until you publish, but I like it too much to wait. Good show Sandra.
Ralf xx
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Oh, oh. I think I know what's going to happen. I love the plot you have in mind and I am enjoying this book as if it was here on my lap. Maybe I should wait until you publish, but I like it too much to wait. Good show Sandra.
Ralf xx
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Hello, Ralf, thank you so much for another lovely review. I really do appreciate your lovely comments. I'm totally delighted you are enjoying the plot, thank you, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was well written. I like that even when he's alone and in the shower you have the dialogue going and we can see what he is thinking. That works well in sharing his viewpoint and also showing us what is going on in his head. Great job.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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I thought this was well written. I like that even when he's alone and in the shower you have the dialogue going and we can see what he is thinking. That works well in sharing his viewpoint and also showing us what is going on in his head. Great job.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Michael for reading this part, I'm really pleased you enjoyed it. I hope to see you again! Warm hugs, my friend, Sandra. xx
