Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Betrayal Chapter 12"In the title.
40 total reviews
Comment from damommy
Well, it's time Grant was told the truth about Colin, and I'm glad Monica went to him. He will probably come up with some information about Colin's whereabouts.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
  |
Well, it's time Grant was told the truth about Colin, and I'm glad Monica went to him. He will probably come up with some information about Colin's whereabouts.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Now Grant is involved, things will start happening. Thank you so much, my dear sister. I really appreciate your lovely review. Tania will make an appearance in the next part. Warm hugs, and loads of love, Sandra xxx
-
Oh, good. Then she's okay. Whew!
-
LOL! She is still alive but in trouble. I'm saying no more!!!! Lol. xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I certainly hope Grant comes up with a plan that will lead them to the location where Colin has taken Tania. Thank goodness Monica had the courage to confront Grant about his role in Tania's disappearance. Good job, Sandra. Colin is even a bigger cad and scoundrel then suspected. LOL Nancy:)
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
 |
I certainly hope Grant comes up with a plan that will lead them to the location where Colin has taken Tania. Thank goodness Monica had the courage to confront Grant about his role in Tania's disappearance. Good job, Sandra. Colin is even a bigger cad and scoundrel then suspected. LOL Nancy:)
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Grant won't be sitting around now. He wants to find Tania, but first he has to sort his half-brother out. Thank you so very much for this lovely review, my dear friend, and all those stars! I could come and give you a big hug, shame we live so far apart. Much love, my friend, Sandra xxx
Comment from blondie560
Oh this was a good one! I'm glad that Grant is finally seeing the light. By the way I liked how Tania and Monica were connected. I forgot to mention that last chapter. I thought they were just friends but the sister angle is a different way to go. As always holding my breath till the next chapter. Have a great week! Sally
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
Oh this was a good one! I'm glad that Grant is finally seeing the light. By the way I liked how Tania and Monica were connected. I forgot to mention that last chapter. I thought they were just friends but the sister angle is a different way to go. As always holding my breath till the next chapter. Have a great week! Sally
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
What a nice review, Sally. I had a problem trying to put in how Tania and Monica were connected, being different races, too. But it slipped in nicely there, and I've gone back and added a couple of things that make it obvious Monica is Jamaican, and Tania English. I'm so pleased you liked that they are more than just best friends. Now Grant is involved, things will start moving. Thank you so very much for the six stars, and the lovely review, my friend. I always enjoy your reviews. Warm hugs! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An excellent chapter, Sandra,
that reveals more about Colin,
and what it is that has 'motivated'
him to steal plans and also deceive
his half-brother.
-The dialogue between Monica
and Grant is done very well.
-There aren't any histrionics,
but simply revealing information
so Grant understands the situation.
-He, in turn, shares information with
her, and shows how Colin has impacted
his life, and his judgment of Tania.
-The ending is also revealing as we
learn that Grant has been hurt in
what sounds like a painful affair.
-It will be very interesting to see
where things go from here.
-Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
-An excellent chapter, Sandra,
that reveals more about Colin,
and what it is that has 'motivated'
him to steal plans and also deceive
his half-brother.
-The dialogue between Monica
and Grant is done very well.
-There aren't any histrionics,
but simply revealing information
so Grant understands the situation.
-He, in turn, shares information with
her, and shows how Colin has impacted
his life, and his judgment of Tania.
-The ending is also revealing as we
learn that Grant has been hurt in
what sounds like a painful affair.
-It will be very interesting to see
where things go from here.
-Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much, Pam. You are the only one who has picked up on Grants painful affair. But, he is starting to mellow. I really loved your review, my friend, and the wonderful six star award. Things will start hotting up from now on. Sending you lots of love and warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
-
You are very welcome and deserving, Sandra. I guess it's my eagle eye:) He does seem to be doing better because now he knows he needs to concentrate on Tania and his half-brother.
Comment from Mistydawn
The backstory is well-written, interesting and all, but I kept thinking this is not a time for chitchat. Get off your butts and find her already. All the while, I imagine poor Monica locked in a dungeon somewhere on the verge of death. I look forwards to reading more.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
The backstory is well-written, interesting and all, but I kept thinking this is not a time for chitchat. Get off your butts and find her already. All the while, I imagine poor Monica locked in a dungeon somewhere on the verge of death. I look forwards to reading more.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
I know what you mean, and the action and drama will begin in the next part. You will be seeing Tania again, and what Colin has done with her. Thank you so much, my dear friend, for another lovely review, and all those stars. I loved the part where you wanted them to 'get off their butts!!!' Lol. Thank you, Misty, your reviews keep me at it. Warm hugs, and lots of love, Sandra xxxx
Comment from Pantygynt
This is moving along nicely.
A couple of minor points/suggestions:
'At Monica's shrug and (lifed) lifted an eyebrow, he...' - Or should that be 'raised an'?
'I'd always felt he drew the short straw...' - I think I would have written 'I always felt he'd drawn the short straw...'
I wondered if there should be a bit more action mixed in with the dialogue. These are two worried people but the only way they show their discomfiture, apart from in their speech is 'He looked down blindly at the papers on his desk. Tapping his finger on the edge.' I think, a bit earlier than that I'd have had one of them stand up and pace up and down or something. Just a thought.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
This is moving along nicely.
A couple of minor points/suggestions:
'At Monica's shrug and (lifed) lifted an eyebrow, he...' - Or should that be 'raised an'?
'I'd always felt he drew the short straw...' - I think I would have written 'I always felt he'd drawn the short straw...'
I wondered if there should be a bit more action mixed in with the dialogue. These are two worried people but the only way they show their discomfiture, apart from in their speech is 'He looked down blindly at the papers on his desk. Tapping his finger on the edge.' I think, a bit earlier than that I'd have had one of them stand up and pace up and down or something. Just a thought.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much for spotting those errors, Jim, I've made the corrections. Now I'll be working of the other suggestions of yours. I'll do it on my MS copy, then copy and paste it over. I do agree with all your points. I'm glad I have you keeping an eye out for me. Thank you, Jim. We'll have another nice long chat in the New Year. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
-
You are more than welcome. Yes a chat would be good. Just let me know time and date. I will do the rest.
-
Okay! I look forward to it. xxx
Comment from RetroStarfish
There's a lot going on in this chapter and it works well. The plot moves forward, characters learn more about each other and there is some nice phrasing: "A heavy silence filled the room... Monica's chin kept betraying her with a tell-tale wobble..."
One thing that was only slightly jarring is that Grant asks Monica to "begin by telling me how Tania knows Colin." But Monica doesn't come right out and say they dated. She only says she doesn't know how they met and then launches into complains about Colin's character. Later on, Grant seems to have figured out that Tania and Grant were a couple, but Monica should have said it right from the start. "They were dating but broke up. I'm not sure how they met..."
Its a small thing but it made me frustrated with the Monica character that she did not give a straight answer to a straightforward question.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
There's a lot going on in this chapter and it works well. The plot moves forward, characters learn more about each other and there is some nice phrasing: "A heavy silence filled the room... Monica's chin kept betraying her with a tell-tale wobble..."
One thing that was only slightly jarring is that Grant asks Monica to "begin by telling me how Tania knows Colin." But Monica doesn't come right out and say they dated. She only says she doesn't know how they met and then launches into complains about Colin's character. Later on, Grant seems to have figured out that Tania and Grant were a couple, but Monica should have said it right from the start. "They were dating but broke up. I'm not sure how they met..."
Its a small thing but it made me frustrated with the Monica character that she did not give a straight answer to a straightforward question.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Tania and Colin never were a couple in the sense you or I think as couples. Monica decided to tell Grant what she knew about their relationship, so she only knows what Tania has told her. I do get what you're saying, though, and will look at the sentence again. Her complaints are valid, Colin is a brute and you'll see just how much of one he is very shortly. Thank you so much for your input, that was very helpful. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Sandra, this was another great chapter. That Colin is really a nasty piece of work. I'm so glad that Monica has finally made Grant see the truth about his half- brother. But where the heck is Tania? A big hug. I love the story. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
Wow, Sandra, this was another great chapter. That Colin is really a nasty piece of work. I'm so glad that Monica has finally made Grant see the truth about his half- brother. But where the heck is Tania? A big hug. I love the story. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
You'll see Tania in the next part. :)) Thank you so much, Ulla, for another wonderful review, and all those stars. Things will be hotting up soon, a lot! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
How is your daughter?
-
They are all now back to normal, thank God. It's been a full month, but now they are doing just fine. Thanks a lot for asking, dear friend. xxx
-
I'm glad to hear that, Ulla, I know it's been a worry for you. xx
-
It was, yes. But now all is fine. Thanks xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I sure hope they get to Tania in time. Of course, if Collin kills her there goes his money ticket, plus the story would be over. Not good. We have to get Tania and Grant together. Tania also needs to have her work authorized so she get the praise and money she deserves.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
I sure hope they get to Tania in time. Of course, if Collin kills her there goes his money ticket, plus the story would be over. Not good. We have to get Tania and Grant together. Tania also needs to have her work authorized so she get the praise and money she deserves.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
The next part will bring Tania back into the plot. Poor Tania is in for a rough ride with this swine. Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, my friend, and the lovely review. I'll be looking for your next chapter now. Warm hugs, and stay safe and well! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Okay, finally some movement in the action department. Now that the truth is up I'm anticipating a story between Grant and Tania. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
|
Okay, finally some movement in the action department. Now that the truth is up I'm anticipating a story between Grant and Tania. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much, Iza, for your lovely review. Next part will bring Tania into the story again. And yes, things will soon start getting heavy. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
