Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Betrayal Chapter 29"In the title.
38 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
It's always nice to have a guy like Reg at your beck and call. Grant's guard is down and that can be a mixed blessing. Outstanding chapter once again. I'm staying tuned. A six for you today, dear Sandra.
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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It's always nice to have a guy like Reg at your beck and call. Grant's guard is down and that can be a mixed blessing. Outstanding chapter once again. I'm staying tuned. A six for you today, dear Sandra.
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Aw thank you, Sal. Yes, I wouldn't mind a guy like Reg around me, either. Actually, any of them would be fine! Thank you so much for the lovely sixth star, my friend. It's lovely having you along. Sending you a warm hug! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Pantygynt
Oh my! The torrid bit approacheth! The pace is speading up again with the forces of the righteous mustering and the evil but aptly named Rapier summoned to the fray.
This is a great episode and I am properly hooked. A couple of minor points for your consideration.
'...cutting off two fingers on each of their hands. Although the police knew who was responsible, without the crook's testimony, their hands were tied.' => Although they are reasonably far apart the context feels odd - perhaps a different expression for "hands were tied" might be a good idea.'
'Do I really want to move away from his arms? No! No, I don't!' This lot of italics is in a larger font than the previous italicised section.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Oh my! The torrid bit approacheth! The pace is speading up again with the forces of the righteous mustering and the evil but aptly named Rapier summoned to the fray.
This is a great episode and I am properly hooked. A couple of minor points for your consideration.
'...cutting off two fingers on each of their hands. Although the police knew who was responsible, without the crook's testimony, their hands were tied.' => Although they are reasonably far apart the context feels odd - perhaps a different expression for "hands were tied" might be a good idea.'
'Do I really want to move away from his arms? No! No, I don't!' This lot of italics is in a larger font than the previous italicised section.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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I've changed the part that says = their hands were tied... to,... there was nothing they could do...
Thanks for pointing it out, I usually look for things like that before I post. The italics were strange, they are all the same size, but that line came out looking larger. I've taken it down to the lower size and now they look the same. How weird is that?
Thank you so much, Jim, for the lovely review, and the sixth gold star! I'm so glad you like the way it's going. Now to get my roast dinner sorted out! lol. Chat in the week? :)) Sandra xx
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Yes a chat would be great. I have by second Covid-19 jab Tuesday morning and I will need to go shopping Wednesday, so Thursday would be a good day for me.
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I'll check my heavy engagement diary, I'm sure I can fit in a few hours!! Lol. That 'll be fine, Jim, make it around 11?
Comment from aryr
A great continuation chapter, Sandra. It is such a shame that Monica does not want Tania to know about her currant situation nor that Jeff feels compelled to withhold some of the truth from Grant. It is a surprise that the Rapier is now involved with Grant's mother and Colin. Tania and Grant are getting along fine, love between the two is blooming. What an exciting chapter, very well done. Blessings, hugs and smiles.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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A great continuation chapter, Sandra. It is such a shame that Monica does not want Tania to know about her currant situation nor that Jeff feels compelled to withhold some of the truth from Grant. It is a surprise that the Rapier is now involved with Grant's mother and Colin. Tania and Grant are getting along fine, love between the two is blooming. What an exciting chapter, very well done. Blessings, hugs and smiles.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Alie, for this lovely review. Grant's mother is getting desperate. But will having the Rapier there help? We shall see. Warm hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are most welcome Sandra, I am really enjoying this. Blessings.
Comment from Begin Again
The suspense was awesome, but the tender moments far exceeded everything. First, you gave us the sour notes - with his mother and Rapier - and sugar-coated it with sweetness and desire. Now, who could ask for more than that? I love this story and how natural it flows - nothing stilted or off-key. Just beautiful and your choice of description is superb. Ohm yeah - did I mention I enjoyed it! Smiles and hugs - Carol
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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The suspense was awesome, but the tender moments far exceeded everything. First, you gave us the sour notes - with his mother and Rapier - and sugar-coated it with sweetness and desire. Now, who could ask for more than that? I love this story and how natural it flows - nothing stilted or off-key. Just beautiful and your choice of description is superb. Ohm yeah - did I mention I enjoyed it! Smiles and hugs - Carol
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Aw, thank you, Carol. Your review put the biggest smile on my face. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. The sixth star was the icing on the cake. You have allowed me to put aside the fear that I'd overdone the love scene at this point. Sending you a special hug, my friend. :)) Sandra. xx
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Silly you! You need not worry about anything ever.... You have a beautiful story and it flows gracefully just like the writer. The love scene was exceptional. Don't let my jittery nerves wear off on you... You are a pro!
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Aw, don't you know how to flatter a gal? Thanks, Carol. xxx
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Smiles and hugs
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story and I love it that the characters interact so wonderfully together;-) This piece is very well written and it's quite interesting, keeping you on the edge of your seat, so to speak!
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Excellent story and I love it that the characters interact so wonderfully together;-) This piece is very well written and it's quite interesting, keeping you on the edge of your seat, so to speak!
Thank you for sharing;-)
Many blessings to you and your family;-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Melodie! What a lovely review. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Ben Colder
Filled with suspense. My suggestions for capturing devout Christian readers. sonofabitch? Not needed. SO&SO OR lighter slang. Offensive to many. Just thought to say.
My blessings to you Sandy.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Filled with suspense. My suggestions for capturing devout Christian readers. sonofabitch? Not needed. SO&SO OR lighter slang. Offensive to many. Just thought to say.
My blessings to you Sandy.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so very much for the sixth star, my dear Chuck, and the lovely review. I understand what you are saying, and I'm glad you pointed it out. I was unsure and uncomfortable about using that word and will sort it out. Thanks, my friend. Sandy. :)) xxxx
Comment from Leann DS
This was well written with the dialogue and a lot of detail to help me visualize the scenes in my mind. If I were to make one suggestion, I would ask you to post shorter pieces. What I mean is, split the longer piece into two when you post, so that more people will be willing to review them. Some of these longer ones just take too much time for some people whose time is Limited.
Well done. Hugs and blessings to you.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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This was well written with the dialogue and a lot of detail to help me visualize the scenes in my mind. If I were to make one suggestion, I would ask you to post shorter pieces. What I mean is, split the longer piece into two when you post, so that more people will be willing to review them. Some of these longer ones just take too much time for some people whose time is Limited.
Well done. Hugs and blessings to you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Leann, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. The fact you can visualize the scenes is very encouraging.
As for the length. They used to be shorter, but then I was always being asked to write longer parts, so I do. I generally get around 40 - 45 reviews per chapter. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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That is great to hear! 45 reviews is quite significant. When I posted something longer, someone told me not to post such long submissions, so I have been following their advice and wanted to pass it on. Perhaps I got bad advice. :-)
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I think it depends on how many readers you capture in the first few chapters. Once you've hooked them, they want longer parts. Never take one reviewer's thoughts, listen to the majority. And, always follow your own instincts. :))
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is turning into a wonderful romance and I love it. Yes, Grant needs to be careful. Tania is still vulnerable, but... I love it.
Grant asked as he sat down in the seat next to Peter and nodded at the bottle in his hand. (omit 'down')
It was obvious to everyone that they'd been too terrified to talk. (omit 'that')
You have to be sure that your feelings aren't from the result of the pain you've gone through (omit 'that')
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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This is turning into a wonderful romance and I love it. Yes, Grant needs to be careful. Tania is still vulnerable, but... I love it.
Grant asked as he sat down in the seat next to Peter and nodded at the bottle in his hand. (omit 'down')
It was obvious to everyone that they'd been too terrified to talk. (omit 'that')
You have to be sure that your feelings aren't from the result of the pain you've gone through (omit 'that')
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for another lovely, and most helpful review. I will go and sort those out. I keep forgetting it's not necessary to add the 'down' to sit, I say 'sit down' all the time! Lol. Thank you for the lovely sixth star, that was amazing for my first review. Your review is lovely, my friend, so encouraging. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
