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Betrayal

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Betrayal Chapter 32"
In the title.

40 total reviews 
Comment from damommy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Didn't find any nits floating around. I'm amazed at how the house has withstood the storm so far. Now, we have to worry about the Peanut being brought into the world. Thanks for explaining stock-still. I've said it all my life without knowing where it came from.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 13-May-2021
    Good morning, my dear sister. I'll soon be around again, our big move is tomorrow, can't wait! Then we'll be unpacking but at least we'll be in. Then I'll have to wait for the internet to be connected, it shouldn't be long. I've got a lot of catching up to do!!

    Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, and the lovely review. It's interesting learning where our expressions come from, isn't it? One reviewer thought it came from the days when people were put into the stocks in the village squares, that would make a lot of sense, too. Sending you a humongous hug, dear SATD, love you lots. Sandra xxx

    We are still loving your videos, Graham always asks if you have sent anymore when we finally sit down. They have helped us unwind and relax in the evenings. I'll be chatting a lot more and getting that face to face sorted once we are back on line in our new house. I can't wait to sit and have a coffee with you. Take care! :)) xxxxx
reply by damommy on 13-May-2021
    I can't wait either. I love you both, and am so happy you're finally getting settled. I'm glad you're enjoying the videos.
reply by the author on 13-May-2021
    Thanks, dear. We'll get there, it's just taking us a little longer to do the things that once were done faster. Getting old isn't a nice thing. :( xxxx
reply by damommy on 13-May-2021
    I know.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Oh dear, this is not boding well. They have survived the first onslaught, and hopefully they will survive the next one as well, which is normally the worst. And now Latifah is having contractions!! I'm so sorry, Sandra, but I don't have a six for you. I'm so glad to seeing you back, though. A big hug, Ulla xxxx

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 13-May-2021
    No worries about the six, Ulla, I'm surprised anyone had any left. Thank you so much for the lovely review, though. I really appreciate it. I won't have internet for a few days after tomorrow as everything will be cut off until it's up and running in my new home. But I'll get to you when I am. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

How terrible to be caught in such a terrible storm! Jeff expresses his belief that the villa has every safeguard, even a bunker, so Tania and Grant and the others should be safe there. No wonder Latifah starts having contractions with the excitement of the storm. Now they'll have to worry about her contractions. Was it false labor or the real thing? Lots of excitement in this chapter, so it captures the reader's interest. judi

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 13-May-2021
    Thank you for this amazing review, Judi, and all those lovely stars! Sorry this is a quickie, we move home tomorrow, and there is still so much to do. I'm much to old for this lark!!
    I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
reply by judiverse on 13-May-2021
    You're welcome. I know what you mean. Things become more difficult as we age, even those vacations. judi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-I was surprised and happy to
see your chapter, Sandra.
-You did a good job with it
by focusing on the hurricane
with both groups of people.
-The big worry was going to
be Latifah and the baby, and
that proved to be the case.
-Hopefully the experience of
everyone there will make the
delivery if that ends up being the case.
-A great job with the hurricane news update.
-You also give us a glimpse into what
Monica, Jeff, and Reg are doing.
-I was glad to see Tania taking
the lead where Latifah was concerned.
-Hopefully, there are no more
major issues with the storm,
and Latifah will be fine.
-Good job, my friend, I was
very happy to have some
extra stars available!!

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 13-May-2021
    I had to get this part out, it's been over two weeks and I was afraid you'd all forget it. We move tomorrow and won't have Internet for a few days, at least over the weekend. I'll be looking for your Sunday posting once I'm up and running again.

    Thank you so very much for another wonderful review, Pam, and the wonderful six stars. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, it was a case of nipping in and out to write a few lines, so I was pleased with the reception. It could have been disasterous. Thanks again, my dear friend. I'm off now to help Graham. Warm hugs, and love. Sandra xxx
reply by Pam (respa) on 13-May-2021
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. I certainly wouldn't have forgotten! I am glad it is doing well. I thought I would tell you I actually knew what stock pile was:) Good luck with the move, too!
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sandra,

This was a bit of a scary part - and then you add a possible baby popping in? Oh, yeah. This could get nuts soon. YIKES!

I know what it's like around here when it's tornado season - and I've been at the beach just as a hurricane was coming once. THAT was not a pleasant happy vacation time. We were booking it. hahahaha

A coupla notes:
1.) he looked at Latifah's ashen face. She'd lived through hurricane(s) many times,
--> plural not possessive

2.) When Peter sat upright and cocked his head, listening, so everyone else did, too.
--> When Peter sat upright and cocked his head, listening, everyone else did, too. (deleted 'so')

3.) Extra - about 'stock-still' - hahaha I thought it would have something to do with those times way back when people were made to sit in the townsquare in stocks as punishment.

Thanks!

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    Thank you so much for the help, Robyn, I've made both corrections. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part.
    I liked your version of 'stock still' that would fit perfectly, wouldn't it? I didn't know that a tree was called a stoc back in those times, and of course, the stocks were make of wood, which are trees. Hmm! Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from blondie560
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sandra, I noticed in one paragraph where Grant is going up to check on the damage, you use Jeff's name instead of Peter's name. I chuckled at the part where Tania would rather take on Colin than the hurricane because she knew she had a fighting chance with him. I do believe after what Colin did to her, if she did have to face him, she'd have the upper hand because she almost died at his hand and her fight or flight instinct will kick in and he'll be sorry he ever met her! I'm loving the little back and forth between Jeff and Monica. I wondered though do the English drink a lot of coffee, or is it tea? Or is that just a US stereotype of English life? I can't stand coffee, but I can drink tea with honey or black. No sugar or milk for me. My husband comes from a family of big coffee drinkers, as in coffee was put into baby bottles because at the time it was cheaper than milk and they are a large family. I hope your move has gone smoothly. Now comes the unpacking part! Have a good week! Sally

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    Aw, Sally, I've missed you! Thank you so much for spotting that name mix-up! I've quickly corrected that. Another correction for the US stereotyping, I hardly ever drink tea, alway coffee! My mum was a tea-bag, so was my dad. Bless them. I do love a cup of tea with a boiled egg and soldiers! lol.

    Thank you so much for the six, my friend, and this really lovely review. Yes, the big move over is on Friday! And then I have my troops organised to help with the unpacking. Sons and their wives and my grandchildren. Bless them, they are so pleased we are moving closer to them, so am I. Thanks again, my dear friend. Warmest hugs. Sandra xxxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did a great job with this chapter, Sandra. I liked that it focused on the immense power of the hurricane. Your words are well thought out. Please ignore the note about quotation marks if I'm mistaken. I believe Latifah's baby will be born and named after the name of the hurricane and Tania.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan

May I suggest ~

... picking up speed as it rampaged over the Bahamas leaving a trail of death and devastation in its wake ... In America, people are being told to find adequate shelter .... The Green party are { is ] blaming Global Warming(,) and are [ is ] insisting the governments of the world sit up and take notice....' The reporter's words droned on and on, until Monica could bear it no longer.

'Grant had the villa built to withstand hurricanes, but I think this one will be its greatest test.' Jeff looked at Monica's worried face. 'Don't worry, sweetheart, he's put more precautions and safety devices in his place than we all thought was necessary. But now it looks as if he was right to do so.'

Jeff took hold of her small hand. 'Beneath the villa he's got an underground bunker, which he had fitted out for a long stay if necessary. I'm sure that's where they'll be right now, down there, sitting out the storm in complete safety. It's fully equipped for any emergency so you have no need to worry.'
[ I believe double quotation arks are needed in place of the single ones in this conversation.]


'At least Rapier won't be able to get to them. And with any luck(,) he'll be swept off with the winds and dropped in the ocean!' Reg remarked flippantly, then chuckled, effectively lightening the mood.

'We can but hope!' Jeff reached out and picked up one of his favourite muffins. Since having tasted Monica's [ cooking ] a few weeks ago, he'd been badgering her ever since to make more. 'The best muffins in England,' he told her before filling his mouth.

Monica pretended to be cross with him ramming so much in at once, but inside, she was secretly as pleased as Punch [ punch ] that he liked them so much. 'Coffee, anyone?' she asked as she lifted the pot and started pouring.

*****

Tania and Latifah were huddled together on a sofa-bed, terrified out of their minds. When Grant and Peter came back down, Tania would have laughed had someone told her, just a few weeks ago, how pleased she would be to see him.

'What was that awful roar?' Her voice trembled, revealing how frightened she'd been. Her fear of Colin paled into insignificance compared to this new danger. At least she'd had a fighting chance against him, which was more than she'd have with this.

Grant crossed the room and sat beside her. 'I believe we've just been hit by the inner wall of the hurricane. It's the fastest, most destructive part, which means we should soon be entering the eye.'

Peter's eyebrows knitted together as he looked at Latifah's ashen face. She'd lived through hurricane's [ hurricanes ] many times, so he could only guess it was her concern for their child. A few long strides took him to her side. 'You alright, love?' Sitting next to her he placed his hand gently on her swollen tummy just in time to receive a hefty kick. 'Well, at least Peanut's fine!' He grinned.

Latifah smiled, the strain on her features fading now that Peter was with her. 'I think Peanut can sense my fear and knows something is wrong.'

'Then, my dearest wife, it's up to me to make sure you remain calm.' He put a finger under her chin and looked her in the eyes. 'I won't let anything happen to you or our little Peanut. Okay?'

Latifah rested her head on Peter's shoulder. 'Okay.'

'How much longer do you think we'll be down here?' Tania whispered to Grant. She understood Peter's unease [ uneasiness ], because she'd been more than a little worried herself.

'I'm no expert on these things, but, if I'm right, things are about to change. Once we're in the eye, we'll know we're halfway through it. What we've experienced so far, will happen again, but in reverse. At least then we'll know it will soon be all over.' He turned to Peter. 'I saw the fuel for the generator in the store room, you've kept it nicely stocked.'

'Yes, I must be psychic, I brought more down last week.'

The four of them sat silently for a while, each with their own thoughts. Time slowed while waiting, as it always does. When Peter sat upright and cocked his head, listening, so everyone else did, too. 'Is it me, or am I right to say it's gone quiet?'

They all remained still, hardly breathing. 'Yes. It has. We must be in the eye.' Grant stood up and waited a moment longer. 'I'm going up to take a look.'

'Be careful, Grant!' Tania pleaded.

Grant smiled at her, and bending down, kissed her briefly. 'I'll be around for the long haul now, my girl.' He smiled, and was about to move off when he saw Jeff getting ready to follow. 'No, you stay here with the girls. I only want to see if we've sustained any damage. I'm not going outside.'

By the time Grant was standing in the kitchen, the heavy silence following the thunderous roar of before, was eerie. He quickly moved through the rooms checking that all the extra safety measures he'd put in place when he had the villa built, including heavy metal shutters, had held up against the force of this violent, unprecedented hurricane. So far, each room he'd looked into showed they'd been well worth [ his additional precautions.--pmit having done ] having done.

It was not the case in one guest room's en-suite bathroom. The shutter had buckled under the immense strain. [strain, and there. . . ] There was nothing he could do but hope it held against the next onslaught.

Closing the bathroom door, he [ continued inspecting. . . ] carried on inspecting the rooms until he'd checked them all. He glanced at his watch, it was time to get back with the others. How long it took the eye to pass over, he hadn't the foggiest idea. An hour? Two?

Joining the others, Grant was alarmed to find Tania comforting Latifah, and Peter standing, ashen faced, looking lost and for the first time in his life, unsure of what to do.

'What's happened?' Grant stared at Latifah, standing up, one hand on her tummy and the other pressing into [delete extra space here] her back.

'She's having contractions,' Tania explained. 'It is most likely a false alarm due to the stress she's under. I've heard it's quite common in such situations.'

She spoke lightly, but Grant could see she was trying hard to keep everyone calm, including herself.


 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    HI, Jan, thank you so much for your incredible help, and finding those nits for me. My brain is in a fog at the moment, so it's so nice of you to look through it so fully. I do appreciate you so much. I'm making the corrections straight away. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my book and haven't forgotten me after all this time. Big move is happening on Friday! Can't wait. Warmest hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Knowing that you were moving, by Tuesday night, I started thinking you might not post a chapter this week. But, I should have known you would get-r-done even against the stiffest odds. LOL. Thank for sharing.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    It's been over two weeks, I thought everyone would have forgotten me by now. It's so nice to know they haven't! Thank you, dear Ric, you are one of my favourites. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from DentedSyke
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, the action moves along nicely and smoothly, which is difficult to do. I like the dialogue and the characters that appeared here. The voices were distinctive and unique, and the dialogue was believable. Nice work!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    What a lovely review, thank you so much, DentedSyke, I really apprecaite all you've said. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by DentedSyke on 12-May-2021
    You're welcome.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Gripping! Your empathy for your characters is especially apparent, given that you're amidst a hurricane yourself. Hang in. Great chapter!

She'd lived through hurricane's=>HURRICANES many times



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-May-2021


reply by the author on 12-May-2021
    Thanks for finding that nit, Liz! I had to laugh at you saying I'm amidst a hurricane, if only you could see this place! I'm so tired, yet so pleased we're nearly at the point of saying, 'we're home!' Friday is the big move, at last!! I have my sons and their wives lined up to help us, bless them.
    Thank you so much for your lovely comments, Liz, I'm glad you liked it. I'll be back with the force of a hurricane next week, so watch out for all my reviews, including your wonderful 2cents worth. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 12-May-2021
    Looking forward to it!