Five
My baby sister44 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. What a good sister you are/were. And how hard to put you in charge of your little sister. It drove me batty when my youngest would be talking to her toothbrush instead of getting ready for school. I wouldn't expect extra patience from a sibling if I couldn't be patient as a mom!
Enjoyed your story about Five/Cinco! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
  |
Lol. What a good sister you are/were. And how hard to put you in charge of your little sister. It drove me batty when my youngest would be talking to her toothbrush instead of getting ready for school. I wouldn't expect extra patience from a sibling if I couldn't be patient as a mom!
Enjoyed your story about Five/Cinco! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. Yeah, Beverly could be a pain in the hind end but I still love her. Hugs.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Your sister looks remarkable like mine, who was three years younger. She was just the opposite; I could never catch her. This is a really nice story about your life with your sister. It's fun you call her "Five". Best of luck with the fiction but some truth contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
Your sister looks remarkable like mine, who was three years younger. She was just the opposite; I could never catch her. This is a really nice story about your life with your sister. It's fun you call her "Five". Best of luck with the fiction but some truth contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. The picture is of her and my little brother. They were born a year apart and were often mistaken for twins. Hugs.
Comment from Lisa Tepp
Love your stories, and this one is no exception! I got a vivid picture of you and "Five" and felt your frustration. The only suggestion I would make would be to rewrite the first paragraph as it had me confused about if there were three of you: "When she started school, I was ten, her older sister Ruth, and Beverly was five." Maybe it could read: "When she started school, Beverly was five, and I, her older sister Ruth, was ten." or just ...and I was ten. It was nothing that took away from the story, it just had me confused. As usual, great writing!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
Love your stories, and this one is no exception! I got a vivid picture of you and "Five" and felt your frustration. The only suggestion I would make would be to rewrite the first paragraph as it had me confused about if there were three of you: "When she started school, I was ten, her older sister Ruth, and Beverly was five." Maybe it could read: "When she started school, Beverly was five, and I, her older sister Ruth, was ten." or just ...and I was ten. It was nothing that took away from the story, it just had me confused. As usual, great writing!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. Yeah, I intend to change that first paragraph as I don't like the way it sound either. Hugs.
Comment from Marienkiefer
Hello,
This is a wonderful story.
-I love the colloquialisms you use that add flavour and imagery to your story.
-You paint a great picture of life in the country, cherry-picking, and the art of compromise... And memories with your younger sister.
Lovely story to read, full of warmth.
Have a nice evening.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
Hello,
This is a wonderful story.
-I love the colloquialisms you use that add flavour and imagery to your story.
-You paint a great picture of life in the country, cherry-picking, and the art of compromise... And memories with your younger sister.
Lovely story to read, full of warmth.
Have a nice evening.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. I think my sister used the pokey act to get out of doing things she didn't want to do. LOL. Hugs
Comment from Jane Jane King
I would say back and forth rather than there and back. Instead of turned dreadful, maybe became dreadful. Also, change slow to slowly. Put coma after day. Coma after feelings. Masters should be capitalized. Also capitalize Math and algebra. But these are minor corrections. All in all, a very cute story. The last line is adorable and a perfect ending for the story. Well done!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
I would say back and forth rather than there and back. Instead of turned dreadful, maybe became dreadful. Also, change slow to slowly. Put coma after day. Coma after feelings. Masters should be capitalized. Also capitalize Math and algebra. But these are minor corrections. All in all, a very cute story. The last line is adorable and a perfect ending for the story. Well done!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. I will edit and correct. I wrote that in a blut an hour today and never went back to edit. I appreciate constutive reviews. Hugs
Comment from zanya
This story is a superb entry for the Fiction with some Truth contest - an engaging and interesting tale of family life from a different time when family obligations were somewhat to today - thanks for sharing a slice of family life with us readers
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
 |
This story is a superb entry for the Fiction with some Truth contest - an engaging and interesting tale of family life from a different time when family obligations were somewhat to today - thanks for sharing a slice of family life with us readers
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for reading and the six stars. Sometimes I think those days were better. I didn't waste all this time on the computer then. LOl Hugs.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an example of good storytelling. There are no grammatical errors, and your story is succinct, to the point, and interesting. I was the oldest of three girls and was responsible for my two younger sisters. You reminded me of how much I did not like it. My youngest sister was smart like your sister. She knew how to get out of work. lol. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
This is an example of good storytelling. There are no grammatical errors, and your story is succinct, to the point, and interesting. I was the oldest of three girls and was responsible for my two younger sisters. You reminded me of how much I did not like it. My youngest sister was smart like your sister. She knew how to get out of work. lol. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. I was number 10 of 12 and Beverly was 12. It was a good life. Hugs.
Comment from nomi338
I believe that everyone has a speed at which they operate comfortably. Unless an emergency requires them/us to leave their comfort zone, I think that we/they try to remain within that comfort zone. Some try to move us from that zone or to adjust our comfort zone to one they are most happy with. As for me, I strongly resist and always have tried to resist all efforts at making me do so.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
I believe that everyone has a speed at which they operate comfortably. Unless an emergency requires them/us to leave their comfort zone, I think that we/they try to remain within that comfort zone. Some try to move us from that zone or to adjust our comfort zone to one they are most happy with. As for me, I strongly resist and always have tried to resist all efforts at making me do so.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. You and my sister would have gotten along great. No one could make her move any faster than she wanted to. She is still a bit pokey today. Hugs.
Comment from jessizero
My mother had a similar experience with her younger brother growing up. This was another cute story about your family. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
My mother had a similar experience with her younger brother growing up. This was another cute story about your family. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. I think I saw a story written by you in the contest. I'm a bit confused about whether it should be listed fiction or nonfiction. Any ideas? Hugs.
-
I think I listed mine under fiction even though mine is almost entirely true.
-
Thanks. I read a story by another writer and she listed it nonfiction. It is confusing.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like this fiction with some truth and have enjoyed the read, your real sister is still marvelous, though you know she was smarter than you thought with her pokey ways, her work is remarkable, so qualified and teacher of math; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
|
I like this fiction with some truth and have enjoyed the read, your real sister is still marvelous, though you know she was smarter than you thought with her pokey ways, her work is remarkable, so qualified and teacher of math; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2022
-
Thank you. Yeah, I always did think she was pulling a good one on all of us. She could get away with a lot because she was the baby of the family of 12. Hugs.
