Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Life"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from wholechild
The message of this poem is so true. We all have a choice to go after life or give up before we even start, grumpy with those who are giving it a shot. Thank you so much for sharing.
Shannon
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
  |
The message of this poem is so true. We all have a choice to go after life or give up before we even start, grumpy with those who are giving it a shot. Thank you so much for sharing.
Shannon
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
thanks again for reading
Comment from joemass
G'day deepwater
This is a thoughtful piece of writing, though it is marred by occasional glitches and small errors. For example, in line 4 'on' should surely be 'in' and in line e 'rises' doesn't need the apostrophe. these sorts of things, though only small can distract and even put off your reader.
Cheers
Joemass
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
 |
G'day deepwater
This is a thoughtful piece of writing, though it is marred by occasional glitches and small errors. For example, in line 4 'on' should surely be 'in' and in line e 'rises' doesn't need the apostrophe. these sorts of things, though only small can distract and even put off your reader.
Cheers
Joemass
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
thanks for the comment
Comment from Zoe Yates
Yes Deepwater it's true, real friends will always stay locked deep in your heart, I like that and the sentiment of not forgetting where you start. Sounds like your tired of hearing negativity, I get that, try not to let it affect you, live by example, speak your piece/peace. Sadness is the wish that you never achieve-well that could be true and so much more too, or not, it can all be turned around. I like the message..
Zoe Yates
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
Yes Deepwater it's true, real friends will always stay locked deep in your heart, I like that and the sentiment of not forgetting where you start. Sounds like your tired of hearing negativity, I get that, try not to let it affect you, live by example, speak your piece/peace. Sadness is the wish that you never achieve-well that could be true and so much more too, or not, it can all be turned around. I like the message..
Zoe Yates
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
thank you Zoe
Comment from Orchidea Blu
I love this! I can give this one to my son, it is a great pick me up and encouragement to get your head out of the sand and move forward. It flows well and has a wonderful rhythm to it. Thank you.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
I love this! I can give this one to my son, it is a great pick me up and encouragement to get your head out of the sand and move forward. It flows well and has a wonderful rhythm to it. Thank you.
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
thank you for reading
-
You are very welcome
Comment from Deejharrington
This is a wonderfully inspiration poem. So many people are ready to settle for being miserable and sitting on the side lines. Rather than do the hard work it takes to have a fulfilling life. You spoke this very well.
deb
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
This is a wonderfully inspiration poem. So many people are ready to settle for being miserable and sitting on the side lines. Rather than do the hard work it takes to have a fulfilling life. You spoke this very well.
deb
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
thanks again DJ
-
you're welcome
deb
Comment from Mariea
Good morning Gary. A very profound piece of writing.
Structure - well put together and developed
Rhythm - nice easy flow
Have a great day, hugs Mia
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
|
Good morning Gary. A very profound piece of writing.
Structure - well put together and developed
Rhythm - nice easy flow
Have a great day, hugs Mia
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
-
thank you for reading this Mia, have a great day
Comment from enjoi
"Sadness is, the wish that you never achieve" There is no need for the comma between "is" and "the wish" here. Really, you do that a bit throughout this poem. The way your clauses are constructed, they get across the pausing and the commas don't need to be there. Beyond that, you do well with this poem.
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
|
"Sadness is, the wish that you never achieve" There is no need for the comma between "is" and "the wish" here. Really, you do that a bit throughout this poem. The way your clauses are constructed, they get across the pausing and the commas don't need to be there. Beyond that, you do well with this poem.
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
-
thank you enjoi
Comment from P1
i love the whole piece from start to finish and there is nothing i would change. the colours and picture really
emphasize your words. it was my pleasure to read your work
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
|
i love the whole piece from start to finish and there is nothing i would change. the colours and picture really
emphasize your words. it was my pleasure to read your work
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
-
thank you for reading paige
Comment from dragonpoet
The easy rhymes make the poem flow. It is true that most of us don't reach for our dreams hard enough or at all. And sometimes telling others they are doing the same thing makes us feel better.
I see no errors.
Congrats for being recognized for this uplifting poem
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
|
The easy rhymes make the poem flow. It is true that most of us don't reach for our dreams hard enough or at all. And sometimes telling others they are doing the same thing makes us feel better.
I see no errors.
Congrats for being recognized for this uplifting poem
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
-
thank you dragon for reading
Comment from closetpoetjester
A fantastic and inspirational piece deepwater. So much wisdom in here it hurts!
Well written and a powerful message about taking a risk and going for it because if you don't quite often you'll regret it or be left behind.
Don't dwell on the negatives, try and take the positive in everything and most importantly learn from your mistakes.
I absolutely loved your last line in this.
Cheers closet xoxo
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
|
A fantastic and inspirational piece deepwater. So much wisdom in here it hurts!
Well written and a powerful message about taking a risk and going for it because if you don't quite often you'll regret it or be left behind.
Don't dwell on the negatives, try and take the positive in everything and most importantly learn from your mistakes.
I absolutely loved your last line in this.
Cheers closet xoxo
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
-
thank you again my friend
