Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "As I wander through time and space"A book of Poetry & Writing
94 total reviews
Comment from jason456
What a beautiful reflective poem of memories of your mother and grandmother. You captured this feeling very well and the photo is perfect. Great job. Patti :)
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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What a beautiful reflective poem of memories of your mother and grandmother. You captured this feeling very well and the photo is perfect. Great job. Patti :)
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you Patti
Comment from fluffnstuff
wow, very nice and created a tear in this ones eyes also. Isn't it nice though that they are still with us in our hearts and memories. Hopefully we can hold those forevermore and not be robbed of them by some dreaded disease. Nice job, glad you were rewarded!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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wow, very nice and created a tear in this ones eyes also. Isn't it nice though that they are still with us in our hearts and memories. Hopefully we can hold those forevermore and not be robbed of them by some dreaded disease. Nice job, glad you were rewarded!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you fluff
Comment from enjoi
Considering your intent, at getting across the memory of loss, I think you did really well. There were no mistakes, nothing to hold back the piece. Really good stuff.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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Considering your intent, at getting across the memory of loss, I think you did really well. There were no mistakes, nothing to hold back the piece. Really good stuff.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you
Comment from chita
This poem is so touching and written beautifully. The photo works well with the poem and your rhymn and rhyme is consistent all through the poem. I felt your emotion and it could bring one to tears. I love the way you include the little things that we have when we are younger and I believe that anyone could relate to this poem--you did a great job.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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This poem is so touching and written beautifully. The photo works well with the poem and your rhymn and rhyme is consistent all through the poem. I felt your emotion and it could bring one to tears. I love the way you include the little things that we have when we are younger and I believe that anyone could relate to this poem--you did a great job.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you chita for this review
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The pleasure was all mine--keep the good work up!!!
Comment from Catherin Elizabet Belle
This poem tells a simple story of love and the joy of the simple things in life...the things that touch ones heart and is remembered forever. The last two lines remind us that the ones we love are always with us.
Well done!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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This poem tells a simple story of love and the joy of the simple things in life...the things that touch ones heart and is remembered forever. The last two lines remind us that the ones we love are always with us.
Well done!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you for your welcome review and comments oldefoggir Gary
Comment from JeJo
This seems like a dedication to your mother and
grandmother. Remembering the past can be a sad,
but beautiful experience. I liked how you
emphasized the little things in life that you
did with them both.
I liked your rhyme scheme and the rhythm
of this heartfelt poem.
However,
to me, this part seemed a little cliched:
"Made me happy, not so sad"
Aside from that, I fully enjoyed this poem.
- JeJo
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
This seems like a dedication to your mother and
grandmother. Remembering the past can be a sad,
but beautiful experience. I liked how you
emphasized the little things in life that you
did with them both.
I liked your rhyme scheme and the rhythm
of this heartfelt poem.
However,
to me, this part seemed a little cliched:
"Made me happy, not so sad"
Aside from that, I fully enjoyed this poem.
- JeJo
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
-
thank you Jejo
Comment from Rafaqat Bano
Hi
fresh past memories ,you explained in simple way in simple words beautifully.it seems as it happend yeserday..... pure and deep feeings of the time that is passed . all may feel itmore or less ...but to say just so easily is wonderful. ...it is a motivation in given lines as
"All the little things you would say and do
Made me happy"
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
|
Hi
fresh past memories ,you explained in simple way in simple words beautifully.it seems as it happend yeserday..... pure and deep feeings of the time that is passed . all may feel itmore or less ...but to say just so easily is wonderful. ...it is a motivation in given lines as
"All the little things you would say and do
Made me happy"
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading doo
Comment from beadyredeyes
The simplicity of the poem is nice. There is a clear and sincere message of dedication and love.
The off-rhymes work best in this poem:
"life/time" "names/dreams"; they add a soft, tender feeling.
The full-rhymes are too strong "sad/had" "dear/tear"and can be distracting adding a nursery rhyme quality to an other wise, lovely poem.
Overall a good poem.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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The simplicity of the poem is nice. There is a clear and sincere message of dedication and love.
The off-rhymes work best in this poem:
"life/time" "names/dreams"; they add a soft, tender feeling.
The full-rhymes are too strong "sad/had" "dear/tear"and can be distracting adding a nursery rhyme quality to an other wise, lovely poem.
Overall a good poem.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you
Comment from Donaya Haymond
This is a good poem, but the rhyme scheme is off, and I found that jarring. The last four lines don't follow the abcb pattern you've got going, instead, they are abca. With such a short piece a single misplaced rhyme throws the whole thing askew.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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This is a good poem, but the rhyme scheme is off, and I found that jarring. The last four lines don't follow the abcb pattern you've got going, instead, they are abca. With such a short piece a single misplaced rhyme throws the whole thing askew.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'As I wander from time and space' is a heart-wrenching and nostalgic piece. This talented poet wears his heart on his sleeve in this work. It's a privilege to review a poem of this caliber.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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'As I wander from time and space' is a heart-wrenching and nostalgic piece. This talented poet wears his heart on his sleeve in this work. It's a privilege to review a poem of this caliber.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2010
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thank you for your review duchess
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deepwater, you're more than welcome.
All the best, the Duchess
