Comment from L.A.Matthies

Excellent

This is a touching and reminiscent story. It took me back to a more innocent time, thank you, which is a nice place to visit.
I think the image is cute, but the words stand well on their own.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2013

Comment from soulgoddess

Excellent

This is a lovely piece! I like the way you created a contrast between the first 4-line piece and the second 4-line piece. And the last 4-line giving an image of an unfulfilled longing which leaves the rest of the story untold. The final feeling leaving the reader wondering if she will ever receive his kiss, oh that blissful kiss, oh that longing to be sealed forever with a sweet kiss.

Great piece with lots of imagination and longing thoughts in it.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2013

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

This is such a cute and sweet picture and poem. When you were young, some boy approached you and promised more. You waited along time but he never came. Best wishes for the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2013

Thank you so much for your review and kind comments and actually this was just a fabrication but could have happened.