Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with making/raking...me/be...wide/side/hide...tight/night...sin/bin. Good description that paints a picture of horror in my mind. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

Thanks, my brother. We all have our own personal demons to deal with. Some just hold on more tightly than others.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

You certainly know how to write spooky, eery poems Dean and this another of yours with a good rhyme scheme - almost a Rime Couee - the first three lines in each stanza in mono rhyme and the last line of every stanza rhymes - only the line lengths vary in places. A very good poem with a suitably horrific picture. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

Spooky? Eerie...? Me?! Perish the thought, heh-heh.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me on this one, Dorothy. I sincerely appreciate that!

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Yep! Another haunting and somewhat daunting horror poem.
You know I'm sure the is a very fine line between sane and insane at times.
That's why just to be on the safe side (he,he) the looney bin exists.ANother greatboverall presentation and haunting image choice.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014

Thanks, seken58. As always, I'm very grateful for your support and kind comments. Glad you liked it.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I enjoyed this beautifully written poem about a not so beautiful experience! I love the surprise ending. This narrative was written with great descriptive language! The rhyme scheme was very sound, and the rhythm consistent and tight! Well done, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014

Thank you very much for your kind comments, Roy. I sincerely appreciate them, and your readership.

Comment from Domino 2

Exceptional

Jeez, Dean - where do you get this shocking but entertaining artwork from? As usual, I was looking at it when the creepy music came in and made me jump out of my skin. :-)

Unusual AAAB (repeating) and effective rhyme scheme.

Very smooth meter except for just one line I slipped on:

'--quiet the deafening din'

Maybe:

'to-QUELL-the-HAUNT-ing-DIN'

Here's a long overdue sixer for waking me up so abruptly this morning with your exceptional talent in the horrific.

Best wishes, Ted

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

Hey, thanks Ted! I was bumbling and stumbling endlessly over that infernal line! So, I took your suggestion and ran with it like a madman (please excuse the shameless pun)! What an awesome help you are, my talented friend.

The animations and artwork I have saved on photobucket, and are consignments free to use in blogs, posts, etc. Acquiring an account is completely free, and I use it almost exclusively. Check it out.

Thanks again, my friend. You've released me from the curse of that line that's been haunting me for days. I'm also going to thank you personally in the post for all your help. You BET I will!

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Mar-2014

I'm incredibly flattered you thought my suggestion worthy, Dean.

I know what you mean about struggling with one line, and the more we do, the more we tie ourselves in knots. :-)

I use 'Google Images' as I never seemed to get used to cut n pasting vidoes, and images are enough for me, of which there are loads there.

Thanks for your amazingly gracious, fun and kind reply, my friend. Ted

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

No, it's I who thank YOU, my friend.

Photobucket generates an HTML code for every animation and gif, so it's quite simple. You right click the code to the right of the photo or animation you choose, and in advanced Editor, you paste it where you want it to go. It works nearly everywhere, except in the author's notes for some reason. Look...here's a cuddly Teddy Bear, just for you!



If you hold your cursor on this delightful little fellow, it will take you right to him, if you dare, heh heh...

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Mar-2014

HAHAHAHA! Looks like me on a good day, Dean. :-)

As my dear old Mum used to say, me and computer tech go together like a 'cow with a cup and saucer'. :-)

Thanks for the credit in your notes, but it wasn't necessary for such a small suggestion.

x (platonic kiss) Ted

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

Ha, well, maybe not necessary to you, Ted, but you just don't know how I've been agonizing over that stupid line, LOL! Poets...such a fickle lot, 'ey?

reply by Domino 2 on 13-Mar-2014

You're SO right, Dean. :-)

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

here they sit and watch and wait, till you can't take no more of it and you are huddled into a corner for fear to look over your shoulder as they com closer, closer towards you some more and then the have you where they want you, evermore.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014

Yep, you nailed it, country! Thanks as always for reading this "crazy" poem, and for the outstanding review as well!

reply by country ranch writer on 14-Mar-2014

welcome

Comment from fan-of-writing

Excellent

Oh boy, I felt my hair on the back of my head stand up when I read this work.
This poem reminds me of some of the works written by Edgar Allen Poe, which are usually dark. This is a very well written poem that describes insanity overtaking one's mind.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014

Thank you very much, fan-of-writing. I sincerely appreciate your kind remarks.

Comment from Jane Johnson

Exceptional

Haven't been on here in awhile Dean, but I read one of yours first and probably will just go through your list, since you write such entertaining things and quite spooky! I love this. It all works so well together, the noise, the animation and the writing itself is perfect. Thank you so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014

Thank you very much for reading my work, Jane. It's rather controversial in some circles, because of the music and sounds auto playing. Sort of a "love it-or hate it" thing. However, I'm very happy that you enjoyed it, and decided to give it a chance. Most appreciated.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Looney bin? A mental hospital is a good place for a schizophrenic seeing things or hearing voices, but let's hope that this one is not a "Snake Pit" type (Grrreat movie!) and actually uses meds to treat it.

I didn't find it scary at all. Mental illness is scary, though, and nothing to make fun of, in my opinion. These people suffer almost constantly, afraid of what they don't understand, the enemy is always there, in their own minds. No escaping that. Must be just horrible. You'd think by now they'd have found a cure, but I suspect mental illness get less funding, when we have things like cancer and heart disease to deal with.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

Yes, mental illnesses are most assuredly nothing to sneeze at, Phyllis. The character Mr. Renfield, from Braum Stoker's book Dracula, inspired this piece. Given your penchant for avoiding tension, I don't know whether you've read that old classic or not. It is a beautifully written story, but chilling. I agree, mental illnesses are often overlooked where research is concerned. Medicating patients into a zombified state is more the norm.

Thanks for the fabulous review. I sincerely appreciate it!

Comment from daeneam

Excellent

You've done it again! Two thumbs up!

May I ask, is this real? Have you been hearing voices and seeing shadows? Have you have a close encounter with ghosts?

I have, I think, three friends who had been hearing voices and seeing things. I have a chance to see one and it was verified by a companion. My best friend told me, she refused to develop that "curse" (or gift) because she's afraid she might see someone die.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014

I have had a few experiences, one when I was twelve with a portrait of a little girl who cried real tears. I'm rewriting a story about that incident as we speak. However, I don't hear voices or have hallucinations, nothing like that. I was always that kid who told stories around a campfire on family outings that scared the bejeezus outta people, though. I suppose you could say that I make up monsters so that I can have control over them. The monsters that lurk in schoolyards leering at school kids on the playground, the real monsters...those, I have no control over at all.

Thanks for another insightful review, my friend.

reply by daeneam on 16-Mar-2014

Hello my friend...

You have been endorse by Mark de Pena aka Dr. Dip and he says you have a Facebook account "Dean Cook". Please add me... I have added you. The name's Edna Mae Cruz from the Philippines.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014

Will do. Dipster's a great guy!