Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The Dark Of the Moon"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from billscott
Extremely poignant and powerful!
This could stand alone as an incredible entry anywhere and...win!
Tremendous effort...I felt emotions I did not expect to feel.
Triumphant to sad...peace to devastation.
Love it!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Extremely poignant and powerful!
This could stand alone as an incredible entry anywhere and...win!
Tremendous effort...I felt emotions I did not expect to feel.
Triumphant to sad...peace to devastation.
Love it!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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again thank you Bill
Comment from GregoryCody
Oh wow. I love this. Need more stars.
The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky,
Great line.
Fantastic opener.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Oh wow. I love this. Need more stars.
The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky,
Great line.
Fantastic opener.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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thank you
Comment from Sonaleeka
Very tough for me to right this kind of great poem.You did a awesome job buddy.I loved the poem and enjoyed too.Best of luck.
God bless!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Very tough for me to right this kind of great poem.You did a awesome job buddy.I loved the poem and enjoyed too.Best of luck.
God bless!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from omonuwaosawe
reading this poem brought out emotions in me. a poem for fallen heroes, brought back memories of my uncle who died in war. the lines are very well arranged, the words that rhyme are like bone laid against bone in the body. I like rhyming a lot, so I think I would have appreciate the poem even more if the AB rhyming pattern is consistent even to the last three lines. Wonderful piece though.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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reading this poem brought out emotions in me. a poem for fallen heroes, brought back memories of my uncle who died in war. the lines are very well arranged, the words that rhyme are like bone laid against bone in the body. I like rhyming a lot, so I think I would have appreciate the poem even more if the AB rhyming pattern is consistent even to the last three lines. Wonderful piece though.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thanks
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello deepwater,
Nice poem. It is easy to read and expressive. Well written too... the only thing I wondered about was the punctuation in the second last line. Should the comma come after 'taps' instead of after 'bugle'? Excellent presentation. Warm regards, W ^-^
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Hello deepwater,
Nice poem. It is easy to read and expressive. Well written too... the only thing I wondered about was the punctuation in the second last line. Should the comma come after 'taps' instead of after 'bugle'? Excellent presentation. Warm regards, W ^-^
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thanks
Comment from Willowsong
The beginning was strong and vivid and had a lovely flow.
"The heart of this soldier, it's time to deploy" is an excellent line that hits on a couple of angles. I do feel the last three lines could use some cleaning up.
"Six of my brothers..." drew out a tad long and I feel it threw off the meter and the last word of the last line was repetitive and threw off the rhyme scheme you had flowing throughout. Great image added that compliments the farewell journey nicely. Cheers!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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The beginning was strong and vivid and had a lovely flow.
"The heart of this soldier, it's time to deploy" is an excellent line that hits on a couple of angles. I do feel the last three lines could use some cleaning up.
"Six of my brothers..." drew out a tad long and I feel it threw off the meter and the last word of the last line was repetitive and threw off the rhyme scheme you had flowing throughout. Great image added that compliments the farewell journey nicely. Cheers!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thanks
Comment from Tonulak
This was a thoughtful funerial poem that evoked strong emotions. I hope no one close to you or you had to cope with this kind of loss. Very nicely done--Ted
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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This was a thoughtful funerial poem that evoked strong emotions. I hope no one close to you or you had to cope with this kind of loss. Very nicely done--Ted
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thanks Ted
Comment from playinaround
Very emotional, creative and awesome. I really was moved and the picture is an interesting choice. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Very emotional, creative and awesome. I really was moved and the picture is an interesting choice. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from TamzinWhite
Yes, it is beautiful. I love the sense of joy from family and faith. There is no mention of politics or greed or all that brings war, but there doesn't need to be. Perhaps if we ignore the bad and concentrate on the good we will evolve into a greater species.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Yes, it is beautiful. I love the sense of joy from family and faith. There is no mention of politics or greed or all that brings war, but there doesn't need to be. Perhaps if we ignore the bad and concentrate on the good we will evolve into a greater species.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Lovinia
Hi deepwater
Your touching words and beautiful image convey such strong emotions. We can not honour enough those who lay down their lives for their country and to preserve our rights and freedom.
An unusual perspective from the point of view of the one departed, yet perhaps this must run through many a soldier's mind when they set out for war, or find themselves in the heat and rage of battle. I can hear "The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky", as I watch the flag lowered ... and remember those who will never be forgotten. A beautiful tribute. Warmest regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Hi deepwater
Your touching words and beautiful image convey such strong emotions. We can not honour enough those who lay down their lives for their country and to preserve our rights and freedom.
An unusual perspective from the point of view of the one departed, yet perhaps this must run through many a soldier's mind when they set out for war, or find themselves in the heat and rage of battle. I can hear "The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky", as I watch the flag lowered ... and remember those who will never be forgotten. A beautiful tribute. Warmest regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
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My pleasure. xox
