Comment from petalangela

Excellent

Dean I love your scared work. I am wondering what it will be like reading it during HALLOWEEN
That is the time of horror and ghosts and when they runn totally unfettered
As usual faultless and riveting

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

All Hallows Eve...my favorite day of the year, Petal. Halloween is to me what Christmas is to most others.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful review. I do appreciate it.
~Dean :}

Comment from Father Flaps

Exceptional

Hi Dean
This is definitely a tale of terror, told by a pro. No wonder the poor kid couldn't speak.
"What he never notices is the girl in the mirror behind him. The one in the bloodied, tattered white dress. The one wearing a smile on her creepy, crying face. The one reaching for his neck."
Parents think they're so smart, don't they?
Unable to speak and unable to move, frozen, scared stiff. It's not a nice feeling. When I was a kid, I had an experience that scared me to death. Not a ghost, or anything like that though. My father worked for the CPR, Canadian Pacific Railway, in the office. Sometimes he worked in Saint John, New Brunswick, sometimes in Montreal, Quebec. Before I started school at age 5, my mother and sister and I always traveled with him. One apartment to another. Well, one night I woke up in this new apartment in Verdun, a suburb of Montreal. It was the first night we were there, and I was perhaps 4 years old. I had had a nightmare, and, crying, I was searching for the door that wasn't where it was supposed to be. It was pitch black, and I was remembering our house in Grand Bay, New Brunswick. When I failed to find the door, I began searching for the light switch. It wasn't where it was supposed to be either. As you can imagine, I was scared stiff, just like poor Jerry.
You are demented, my good man! Demonstrably demented! Good job!
cheers
Kimbob

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Wow, that's quite a terrifying story, Kimbob! I could see where that would leave a lasting impression on you. It sounds like something I could use for a future Tiny Tale, if you'll allow me to. I'll make sure I acknowledge you in my author's notes as the inspiration behind the story if you decide to.
As always, thanks for the wonderfully indepth analysis and the exceptional rating. Coming from you, this is high praise indeed. I know what a staunch reviewer you are.
Thanks again, my friend. ~Dean

reply by Father Flaps on 06-Jul-2015

Hey, Dean, if I have inspired you, go for it. Please do. I look forward to reading it.
cheers
Kimbob

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thank you, Kimbob. I'll get right on it and let you know when it's finished.
I very much appreciate it.

~Dean :)

Comment from CD Richards

Excellent

Love this. For some reason I get all choked up reading it... oh no wait, that was daddy getting all choked up. Our parents never believe what we know is true when it comes to things that go bump in the night.

Just one typo:
"The scary whipering noises and moans start almost right away." (whispering)

Great work, Dean - thanks for sharing. Craig.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thank you for catching that, Craig. I've been doing a bit of editing on the fly so I missed it. I very much appreciate your review, buddy.
~Dean :}

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

Tonight the door flew open hitting the wall with so hard (omit with?)

night light ( night light?).

Well done as always. As soon as I scoop up a couple more dollars, I have a story to add. Hopefully,I'll do it right this time, LOL. I hope you like it, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thanks, Debbie. I've made the correction and I appreciate you pointing it out to me.
~Dean

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

A very interesting story. Who isn't apprehensive of what's behind the attic door. Attics are right up there with cellars--the old creepy damp kind--in the scary department. Your story flows well. The last five lines are especially good. Marilyn

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments, Marilyn. I certainly appreciate your review as always.
~Dean

Comment from LoannaLois

Exceptional

Ohhhh,this is a dandy little tale; creepy, scary, and surprising! I had no idea where the path was leading...but your words sent a chill up my neck...at the end...(actually, I'm going to go lock my attic door...ð??¥)

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thanks, Lois. That simply means the story did what it was intended to do, and I appreciate you letting me know that it worked for you. For me, the ending is always the most important part of any story, regardless of its length. It is the last thing a reader will remember about what they've just read...or not.
I very much appreciate the six stars and great feedback. ~Dean :}

Comment from Linda Engel

Excellent

Sinister and cruel scaring the breath out of children. Nothing says scary more than a storm, lightning, lights go out and something moving in the dark. Years ago I read a book called "The Mirror" before the girl's wedding there was a thunder storm, flash of lightning she touched the mirror and woke up in the 1800's, in her grandmother's body. Items for a good story.
Must be terrifying to be so frightened that you can not speak. Too late for daddy now. (that is why I sleep with the lights on in several rooms)

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Not a bad idea, Linda.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this one.
~Dean :}

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another interesting and scary post that the author has created with this piece of work. Pranks often go wrong and this is a terrible thing to do. I like the ghoulfriend. LOL. Well done yet again.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for taking time out to read and comment on the story, Tomes. I sincerely appreciate it.
~Dean

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Dean...

_ Yeah, you gotta love it when a parent means well. LOL.
_ Love the artwork blinking off/on--super touch.
_ Hope you are taking care and doing well, my friend.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for the review, Jax. I'm hanging in there, my friend. But hey, it's a lot better than simply hanging...heh-heh.

Comment from Jacob Collins

Exceptional

Your use of description is superb Dean, you are a true master at drawing a reader into your story, I felt as though I was right there with the boy, being awakened by the storm. Another truly horrific piece, thanks for sharing...Jacob

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for reading the story in the first place, Jacob, and for your exceptional six star rating as well. I'm very grateful for your kind and thoughtful comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Thanks again!
~Dean :}