Emancipation Day
I licked my lips and you, like Texas barbecue.46 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
May we never again see a day when there are those who enslaved by their fellow man. Sadly, I wonder if it will not happen because there are so many trying to destroy the history of when and how slavery was defeated in our land. History forgotten they say is apt to be repeated. Patricia
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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May we never again see a day when there are those who enslaved by their fellow man. Sadly, I wonder if it will not happen because there are so many trying to destroy the history of when and how slavery was defeated in our land. History forgotten they say is apt to be repeated. Patricia
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Patricia, one of the things I enjoy most about my lyrics is that they touch upon this troubling history. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Nika2016
It made me smile
And look around
It will be a hit
In my hometown...
It's not refined
That's not its nature
Its simply country
Nomenclature
So sing a song
Of freedom's light
And rest alone
In bed tonight...:)
As silly as the song itself...
I can see you smiling..actually laughing as you write this...
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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It made me smile
And look around
It will be a hit
In my hometown...
It's not refined
That's not its nature
Its simply country
Nomenclature
So sing a song
Of freedom's light
And rest alone
In bed tonight...:)
As silly as the song itself...
I can see you smiling..actually laughing as you write this...
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, Nika, I was smiling as I wrote this silly song and read your poetic review. Thank you very much for making me smile.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I thought you made a great job of these lyrics - the words flow real well and you have good rhyming.... however ... however .... I tripped when I read the verse below - as although it has a snipping of humour to it, I can't imagine anyone singing about his willy in such a way.
I became reenslaved
when willy misbehaved,
like a Gulf hurricane
tougher than any chain.
Otherwise - most impressive... and
one never knows with these contest entries ... and I wish you good luck.
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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I thought you made a great job of these lyrics - the words flow real well and you have good rhyming.... however ... however .... I tripped when I read the verse below - as although it has a snipping of humour to it, I can't imagine anyone singing about his willy in such a way.
I became reenslaved
when willy misbehaved,
like a Gulf hurricane
tougher than any chain.
Otherwise - most impressive... and
one never knows with these contest entries ... and I wish you good luck.
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Ah, thank you, Margaret, for your review and contest well wishes, and for pointing out the wily verse about willy.
Comment from Fridayauthor
I enjoyed this poem very much. It has a nice, easy rhyme to it and the setting is easy to picture. I also appreciate the author notes that explained the holiday and the location.
Very fine posting.
Thank you.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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I enjoyed this poem very much. It has a nice, easy rhyme to it and the setting is easy to picture. I also appreciate the author notes that explained the holiday and the location.
Very fine posting.
Thank you.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Fridayauthor, for your generous review of my song. I appreciate it.
Comment from butterfly4265
This is really good. I very much liked the image of finally being free from slavery, only to be shackled by stronger chains of lust and desire. My favorite lines were:
"Love can be a shackle
stronger than any glue.
I chewed through my ankle
to limp away from you".
In my opinion this is an excellent entry, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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This is really good. I very much liked the image of finally being free from slavery, only to be shackled by stronger chains of lust and desire. My favorite lines were:
"Love can be a shackle
stronger than any glue.
I chewed through my ankle
to limp away from you".
In my opinion this is an excellent entry, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Butterfly, for your generous review and for wishing me luck in the contest. Thank you also for pointing out your favorite lines.
Comment from nbonner
Nicely written. I can definitely see this as a song (I guess if it's not already one). Sometimes you just have to get away from a bad situation, that's what I got when I read this poem. Thank you for sharing, NB
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Nicely written. I can definitely see this as a song (I guess if it's not already one). Sometimes you just have to get away from a bad situation, that's what I got when I read this poem. Thank you for sharing, NB
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you, NB, for your thoughtful review. Yes, sometimes you have to escape a bad situation.
Comment from LIJ Red
They say Texas marches to her own drum, a bit behind the parade. Whoa, a coyote chick fer sure.(to perdition with steel-jaw traps) Apparently Willy was not Teflon Willie (that Clinton to whom nothing would stick). Just kidding. Looks like an excellent new-lyrics entry to me.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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They say Texas marches to her own drum, a bit behind the parade. Whoa, a coyote chick fer sure.(to perdition with steel-jaw traps) Apparently Willy was not Teflon Willie (that Clinton to whom nothing would stick). Just kidding. Looks like an excellent new-lyrics entry to me.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, LIJ Red, for your humorous review. It took me a month and a day to write these lyrics.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Mystery Poet,
Wow! This is a great entry & would make a great song. I enjoyed reading it. The lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are super, & the message is strong & true [for so many].
You did a great job with the prompt. I like your analogy between The 'real' Emancipation Day & your personal one.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Mystery Poet,
Wow! This is a great entry & would make a great song. I enjoyed reading it. The lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are super, & the message is strong & true [for so many].
You did a great job with the prompt. I like your analogy between The 'real' Emancipation Day & your personal one.
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, Jan, I love that analogy between the 'real Emancipation and my personal one. This made the song. Thank you for your review and for wishing me success in the contest with this entry that resonates with many people.
Comment from dragonpoet
Sounds like an long standing on going affair. The woman is lucky she wasn't found out. If she felt so guilty it should of been easier to get out. But as the poem song says love can be a shackle as well as any kind of slavery.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Sounds like an long standing on going affair. The woman is lucky she wasn't found out. If she felt so guilty it should of been easier to get out. But as the poem song says love can be a shackle as well as any kind of slavery.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you, DP, for your review and contest well wishes. Yes, love can be a shackle. I'll keep writing.
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Don't mention it. Glad to hear it.
dp
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of Song Lyrics Poetry meeting the desired norms, and beautifully depicting its theme.
Impressive and matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhythm and rhyming scheme.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of Song Lyrics Poetry meeting the desired norms, and beautifully depicting its theme.
Impressive and matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhythm and rhyming scheme.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you, RPSaxena, for your generous review and for wishing me luck in the contest. I am glad you found it to be a smooth, enchanting flow of words and rhymes.