We Will Dance
When There Is That...Connection.56 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I hope you find your soulmate soon. You shouldn't have to wait. It sounds like you have a lot to offer. Life is meant to be shared. But never settle for less than you deserve.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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I hope you find your soulmate soon. You shouldn't have to wait. It sounds like you have a lot to offer. Life is meant to be shared. But never settle for less than you deserve.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you for both your gift of stars, and your comments, my friend. I truly appreciate both.
Curt
Comment from Sanku
I see this as a poem of hope. The persona is holding out hand to pull the grieving lady out of her sad state.he wants to teach her to trust again .
he hopes that she will listen to his soul's calling
Smooth flowing lines. there is a rhythm in built in this
I enjoyed the lines very much .
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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I see this as a poem of hope. The persona is holding out hand to pull the grieving lady out of her sad state.he wants to teach her to trust again .
he hopes that she will listen to his soul's calling
Smooth flowing lines. there is a rhythm in built in this
I enjoyed the lines very much .
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your thoughts,
Curt
Comment from Bill Schott
I really enjoyed this poem. Your use of internal rhyme, paired with the aabb rhyme scheme, made the reading deeper and animated. The emotions are eccentuated and summarized in the couplet. Nice.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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I really enjoyed this poem. Your use of internal rhyme, paired with the aabb rhyme scheme, made the reading deeper and animated. The emotions are eccentuated and summarized in the couplet. Nice.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you Bill, you honor with both your generous gift of stars and your thoughts.
They are both appreciated very much.
Curt
Comment from Pantygynt
Three quatrains and a couplet of iambic heptameter perfectly maintained until the very last line, which contains an interesting metrical substitution that enhances the importance of this concluding line.
I am hoping that this substitution was intentional on your part. The line begins with four iambic feet emphasized by the repetition of the word "to". This strong rhythm could have been continued to the end of the line but at this point we are brought up short by that word "and". "Together" has to remain as stressing only the middle syllable so the "and" with the "to..." of "together are thrown together as a pyrrhic (two adjacent unstressed syllables) that allow the line to continue quite naturally in two full trochaic feet with a catalectic finale.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Three quatrains and a couplet of iambic heptameter perfectly maintained until the very last line, which contains an interesting metrical substitution that enhances the importance of this concluding line.
I am hoping that this substitution was intentional on your part. The line begins with four iambic feet emphasized by the repetition of the word "to". This strong rhythm could have been continued to the end of the line but at this point we are brought up short by that word "and". "Together" has to remain as stressing only the middle syllable so the "and" with the "to..." of "together are thrown together as a pyrrhic (two adjacent unstressed syllables) that allow the line to continue quite naturally in two full trochaic feet with a catalectic finale.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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My friend,
Your review is perhaps the most detailed analysis of any work I have done, and through all the small changes I mix into them, you are the first to notice. Bravo.
The line is intentional, more for effect than anything else, I'm just still amazed at your perception.
Gonna have to read your stuff!
Thank you again for a most enjoyable review, I truly appreciate your thoughts.
Curt
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I am so pleased you meant it. Not many people here understand metrical substitution, unfortunately.
Comment from Katherine2
Your poem truly speaked out to me. Sometimes we have been hurt so badly that when someone so beautiful and loving comes into our life we have difficulty coming out of our fearful shell. If this is a real situation for you, give this person time and your love as you have so beautifully written and I'm sure she will come into your arms. You have given me much to think about... Thank you, you seem so knid.
Katherine
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Your poem truly speaked out to me. Sometimes we have been hurt so badly that when someone so beautiful and loving comes into our life we have difficulty coming out of our fearful shell. If this is a real situation for you, give this person time and your love as you have so beautifully written and I'm sure she will come into your arms. You have given me much to think about... Thank you, you seem so knid.
Katherine
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much Kathrine,
Very rarely does someone pull at my heartstrings, but when they do, I would move heaven and earth to be by their side.
I only hope the feeling is reciprocated!
Curt
Comment from closetpoetjester
Geez this is good Curt!
If you are waiting for a sign, then if she reads this it shouldn't be long haha
Flawless iambics as usual...then I get to here
"I want to hold you close to me as we slow dance in the rain,"
Now I KNOW this line CAN accommodate a little anapesty skippety skip in the middle but all your other lines felt so precisely measured and you lulled me into that pentameter waltz back and forth...so I wondered whether it WAS deliberate in the end. I know what it's like to be pedantic about meter.
So with that said, here are a couple of suggestions for a drop in the extra syllable to match it with the rest.
Tell me to get back in my box anytime haha You'll ALWAYS have my honesty.
I want to hold you (closer) as we slow dance in the rain
I want to hold you close, so we can slow dance in the rain
Still worth a six all day though. Your perfectly pitched closing couplet capped off a stunning verse while you reassured your potential dance partner amidst all her fears and that it was worth a shot with you.
If your dancing feet are anywhere as good as your iambic feet, she'll be in safe hands!
LOVED!
P
Please take my suggestions with a grain of salt or a stiff gin haha
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Geez this is good Curt!
If you are waiting for a sign, then if she reads this it shouldn't be long haha
Flawless iambics as usual...then I get to here
"I want to hold you close to me as we slow dance in the rain,"
Now I KNOW this line CAN accommodate a little anapesty skippety skip in the middle but all your other lines felt so precisely measured and you lulled me into that pentameter waltz back and forth...so I wondered whether it WAS deliberate in the end. I know what it's like to be pedantic about meter.
So with that said, here are a couple of suggestions for a drop in the extra syllable to match it with the rest.
Tell me to get back in my box anytime haha You'll ALWAYS have my honesty.
I want to hold you (closer) as we slow dance in the rain
I want to hold you close, so we can slow dance in the rain
Still worth a six all day though. Your perfectly pitched closing couplet capped off a stunning verse while you reassured your potential dance partner amidst all her fears and that it was worth a shot with you.
If your dancing feet are anywhere as good as your iambic feet, she'll be in safe hands!
LOVED!
P
Please take my suggestions with a grain of salt or a stiff gin haha
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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I changed it! too many people stumble there, so I have had a couple of shots, steeled myself, and yes, I edited my baby!
Your comments sincerely do honor me my friend, thank you for FORCING me to do what had to be done!
I know I can count on you to lay it on the line, that, and your talent, make me proud to know ya.
Always,
Curt
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Way to go!
Your poem was technically perfect even WITH that line. On the fourth read it WORKED. I nearly went back and changed my review haha
Nice to hear from you mate.
I refanned you!
Hope you're back for awhile
I'm sicka reading shite!
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Yeah, I know, it worked for me too, but I'm sending the original to her!
I still get my way! Lol!
Curt
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Good man!
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a romantic poem of unrequited love and fear of being hurt. It seem the speaker in this poem should let his 'love' know how he feels and not wait for her to come out of her shell. Maybe sign and give her this poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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This is a romantic poem of unrequited love and fear of being hurt. It seem the speaker in this poem should let his 'love' know how he feels and not wait for her to come out of her shell. Maybe sign and give her this poem.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thanks for your thoughts, I just might do that!
Curt
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You're welcome. Maybe it will help her and you.
Joan
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Curt. I've read your work before but this one is truly beautiful. It tells the story of a man who knows how to love a woman. That is a rare thing. I loved all of this one but if I could offer this: The last line of your second stanza. I kept reading it as "feelings I can not hide" as opposed to the can't. Also the text color was a bit hard to read against the red. I think if the text was larger or lighter against that red background it would read easier.
Regardless, gorgeous write. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Hi Curt. I've read your work before but this one is truly beautiful. It tells the story of a man who knows how to love a woman. That is a rare thing. I loved all of this one but if I could offer this: The last line of your second stanza. I kept reading it as "feelings I can not hide" as opposed to the can't. Also the text color was a bit hard to read against the red. I think if the text was larger or lighter against that red background it would read easier.
Regardless, gorgeous write. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your thoughts, Kiwi,
A poet's heart's a fragile thing,
a small bird with a broken wing,
he cannot fly but still he'll sing,
until his love returns.
He writes the words he wants to say,
and gently puts them all away,
with hope that love will come and stay,
the soul for which he yearns.
That just popped out, I think it was meant for you from my muse. Hope you like it...
Curt
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I love your work Curt. You have a real talent and I appreciate friendship and talent. It's hard to do and still respect yourself methinks. I loved the spontaneous piece of poetry. Thank you so much.
poets write about love and lonely
neither matter because one solves
the other, but love trumps everything
it can make a heart sing the finest tune
or break open and bleed as though dying
or dead.
right person will always show up
as long as you linger in their hearts
and let love solve everything else.
be happy mate, it's the best thing we can do for ourselves. Take care. xoxo deborah
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Right back atcha!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written romantic poem about how deep your feelings are for a certain person. You need to hold her close and dry her tears, and put her fears to rest.
Any girl that has some trouble of their own will take a chance. It is always better to face troubles together with someone than to do it alone.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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A very well-written romantic poem about how deep your feelings are for a certain person. You need to hold her close and dry her tears, and put her fears to rest.
Any girl that has some trouble of their own will take a chance. It is always better to face troubles together with someone than to do it alone.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your thoughts, they are appreciated.
Curt
Comment from visionary1234
A sweet, romantic write with unusually long lines ... sometimes 7 and sometimes 8 feet, occasionally with a little rhythmic awkwardness (eg below)
but let me tell you now how much (that I wish you were here), - but not enough to detract from the beauty of your piece. Well done!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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A sweet, romantic write with unusually long lines ... sometimes 7 and sometimes 8 feet, occasionally with a little rhythmic awkwardness (eg below)
but let me tell you now how much (that I wish you were here), - but not enough to detract from the beauty of your piece. Well done!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2017
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Thanks Sharyn!
This is written in heptameter, mostly, sort;ve The Eagles style, if you listen to some of their stuff.
Take care and thanks again,
Curt
