What if,
wondering about a different result.51 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem is well-written, Mary, although it is poignant. So much for a 7 year old to comprehend. I like your repeated line. You expressed you thoughts/feelings well. This is a poem that requires one to really think about what is going on in it and also their own lives. I love the picture.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
Your poem is well-written, Mary, although it is poignant. So much for a 7 year old to comprehend. I like your repeated line. You expressed you thoughts/feelings well. This is a poem that requires one to really think about what is going on in it and also their own lives. I love the picture.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind comments Jan
Comment from June Sargent
You do write poetry! Poetry is simply putting your feelings, as opposed to thoughts, on paper. You may be wondering in your mind, but you are writing from your heart, Yes, you would have had hugs. That's what you really wanted to know. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
You do write poetry! Poetry is simply putting your feelings, as opposed to thoughts, on paper. You may be wondering in your mind, but you are writing from your heart, Yes, you would have had hugs. That's what you really wanted to know. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind thoughts
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I like the photo you choose to go with your poem, they are a perfect match.
you captured my attention from the start, I'm very sorry for your lost Just remember they are both in heaven looking down you and dad
Thank you for sharing
cookie
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
I like the photo you choose to go with your poem, they are a perfect match.
you captured my attention from the start, I'm very sorry for your lost Just remember they are both in heaven looking down you and dad
Thank you for sharing
cookie
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind comments
Comment from AnnieDawn
This is a very good way to express feelings and you have done a great job in this post. There does not have to be a rhyme to post a poem. There is free form and you have nailed it. I enjoyed this and it prompts one to reflect and think. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
This is a very good way to express feelings and you have done a great job in this post. There does not have to be a rhyme to post a poem. There is free form and you have nailed it. I enjoyed this and it prompts one to reflect and think. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind comments
Comment from To Write Is To Live
A melancholy questioning of the way life deals us hands that we're not prepared to play, especially when we're only seven years old!
Your poem is a reminder to all that would think, or even dare to say, "Why doesn't he/she get over it?" when asking about why the person still ruminates on a loved one's passing. Those asking have the answer to the question already: the "it" they refer to is the death of someone dearly loved; that is something that the person left behind can never get over.
Thank you for writing and sharing, "What if."
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
A melancholy questioning of the way life deals us hands that we're not prepared to play, especially when we're only seven years old!
Your poem is a reminder to all that would think, or even dare to say, "Why doesn't he/she get over it?" when asking about why the person still ruminates on a loved one's passing. Those asking have the answer to the question already: the "it" they refer to is the death of someone dearly loved; that is something that the person left behind can never get over.
Thank you for writing and sharing, "What if."
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
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thank you for your kind review especially how you looked at it in the human need to grief in ones one life.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Poignant--haunting--what ifs--some insipidly claim a "greater purpose" by way of "comforting" the bereaved--you painfully enumerate the devastation of your family. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
Poignant--haunting--what ifs--some insipidly claim a "greater purpose" by way of "comforting" the bereaved--you painfully enumerate the devastation of your family. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 15-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
Well, you need to correct your comments, because you DID write poetry. This is just beautiful and very well done. You repetition of the line "I wonder if Ma had lived beyond my seven years" was very effective and the poem is moving and poignant.
Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
Well, you need to correct your comments, because you DID write poetry. This is just beautiful and very well done. You repetition of the line "I wonder if Ma had lived beyond my seven years" was very effective and the poem is moving and poignant.
Well done!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your review and kind comments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your words here have so much heart and I feel the pain and sorry in them too Mary, these events are profound and leave a family numb and without guidance, I am so sorry for your loss. On a lighter note, prove to your Mum that your remembrance of her will never die and show her that you now lead a good life, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
Your words here have so much heart and I feel the pain and sorry in them too Mary, these events are profound and leave a family numb and without guidance, I am so sorry for your loss. On a lighter note, prove to your Mum that your remembrance of her will never die and show her that you now lead a good life, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Thank you Dolly, I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from donette1914
wow this is incredibly sad. I lost a baby full term and I almost died and I got to live but I sure can feel the pain. In the Bible it does say you will get to see her again on earth at Rev 21: 4 where it said "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." Wouldn't that be wonderful to see her again?
Outstanding Job!!!!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
wow this is incredibly sad. I lost a baby full term and I almost died and I got to live but I sure can feel the pain. In the Bible it does say you will get to see her again on earth at Rev 21: 4 where it said "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." Wouldn't that be wonderful to see her again?
Outstanding Job!!!!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you donette1914 for your review and kind words. I am so sorry for your loss. I know your little one is sleeping in the angels arms.
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thank you for your kindness
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is such a touching poem, conveying a message about the power of your mother in the home and in your family members' lives. A child would naturally wonder what if . . . ?
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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
This is such a touching poem, conveying a message about the power of your mother in the home and in your family members' lives. A child would naturally wonder what if . . . ?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your comments