Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Betrayal Chapter 2"In the title.
49 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! What is Grant talking about? Did someone steal Tania's work ahead of time? Would Grant be open to see that? I like how you clue us into the thoughts of Tania and Grant so we know exactly what they are feeling.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Oh no! What is Grant talking about? Did someone steal Tania's work ahead of time? Would Grant be open to see that? I like how you clue us into the thoughts of Tania and Grant so we know exactly what they are feeling.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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You have no idea how much your review meant to me, Helen. This is the first time I written a book that's not in the first person. I hoped it would work so when I read what you've said, you made my day! Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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💖💖
Comment from royowen
You always manage to get off a great standard in these stories, and the remarkable thing is you get plumb the depths of your wonderful characters and have a built in feeling and knowledge of the characters and the character of those characters, it's true that one's artistic abilities have their own stamp on them. (Having said that, I sometimes don't recognise my own writing. Well done, great story Sandra, I'm looking forward to this. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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You always manage to get off a great standard in these stories, and the remarkable thing is you get plumb the depths of your wonderful characters and have a built in feeling and knowledge of the characters and the character of those characters, it's true that one's artistic abilities have their own stamp on them. (Having said that, I sometimes don't recognise my own writing. Well done, great story Sandra, I'm looking forward to this. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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I had to laugh at you not recognising your own writing. I said that to the doctor when I had to sign my name on a form. He said it happens to us all as we get old. Me OLD!! LOL I thought the 70s were yesterdays, 50s!
Thank you so much for your lovely review, Roy, I'm so pleased you are enjoying the plot. Sending you a big hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I have been playing your CD most of the day, and already I'm picking up the words to some of them. It won't be long before I know them all. They are brilliant. You have a wonderful talent. xxx
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Thank you Sandra, when I come to the end of my poem, my name?s on the bottom, surprise, surprise. Thank you for your lovely praise, blessings Roy
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It's well deserved praise, my friend. xx
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Bless you
Comment from robyn corum
Sandra,
Ouch!!! Oh, wow. This is about to get really interesting. hahaha So, it's either that she takes after a previous family member - architect --OR -- more likely, that's the reason she is so passionate about not leaving the plans - that guy has been the culprit to stealing her ideas before and making his name on them.
I love the extra plot twist. Thnaks!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Sandra,
Ouch!!! Oh, wow. This is about to get really interesting. hahaha So, it's either that she takes after a previous family member - architect --OR -- more likely, that's the reason she is so passionate about not leaving the plans - that guy has been the culprit to stealing her ideas before and making his name on them.
I love the extra plot twist. Thnaks!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Robyn, for another of your lovely reviews. There is something going on here, and much to find out. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story, my friend. Thank you! Warm hugs. Sandra xxxx
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, OK!!! here it is...I started a poem not to long ago...but didn't finish it...but I'm sure there were some mistakes...I imagine somewhere down the road I will finish it...but I am glad to know...your happy I told you...that's so sweet...
I knew Grant wasn't going to let Tania walk out the door...but was very surprised with what he said to her...
does she just have the same style as someone else...or is she a fraud...or doing that for a friend...or did someone still her work...I'mmmmm sooooo confused...and it's only the second chapter...
you get tied writing at all the wrong times...a great chapter my amazing friend...can't wait to hear her answer...very well written...and I love the picture...great book cover...very interesting as always...work on those cut off...always leaves me making up my own ending...scary...always so much love for you...and Graham...Linda xxoo
How Is Ian doing??? xxoo love
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Hi Sandra, OK!!! here it is...I started a poem not to long ago...but didn't finish it...but I'm sure there were some mistakes...I imagine somewhere down the road I will finish it...but I am glad to know...your happy I told you...that's so sweet...
I knew Grant wasn't going to let Tania walk out the door...but was very surprised with what he said to her...
does she just have the same style as someone else...or is she a fraud...or doing that for a friend...or did someone still her work...I'mmmmm sooooo confused...and it's only the second chapter...
you get tied writing at all the wrong times...a great chapter my amazing friend...can't wait to hear her answer...very well written...and I love the picture...great book cover...very interesting as always...work on those cut off...always leaves me making up my own ending...scary...always so much love for you...and Graham...Linda xxoo
How Is Ian doing??? xxoo love
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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I'm so very happy you told me about the poem you didn't finish because there might have been some errors, but you might finish it sometime down the road!!! LOL! LOL! LOL!! I nearly fell off my chair laughing!!
Now, you say you're confused about this chapter? How the heck do you think I feel? I tell my characters what I want from them, and what happens? They sneak off and do their own thing!!! Not a word to me! LOL. Hopefully, Grant and Tania will let me know soon, and then I'll try and sneak the info out to you, but don't tell anyone what I said!
Thank you soooo much for the lovely six stars, and the hilariously funny review. I love your reviews, I usually have to change my knickers after reading them! It's not good to laugh so hard when you're my age!! :))
Ian has been having some bad days. We've got him out of the hospital again, he was so depressed in there. The trouble is he needs constant care now, and with this corona virus it's hard to get the carers. Maggie has to go to work to pay the bills and put food on the table, and Ian needs someone who knows how to care for all his needs. I spoke to him earlier, and he's a lot brighter today, thank goodness. I do worry about him. Maggie is going to bring him over to me for the day and pick him up on her way back from work. Thanks for always caring my dear friend. Love you so much. You stay safe and keep well. Humongous hugs. :)) xxxxxx Sandra xxx
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I'm glad Ian is out of the hospital...but so sad he is so depressed...it has to feel awful to need constant care all the time...I hate the feeling of being helpless...I feel so bad for him and Maggie...it will be good for him to be over by you...you can cheer him up...is he always going o have to have someone with him ???...
Sandra...I think you slipped your dripper...when your characters are ruling the roost...get control sweet girl...
and your secret is safe with me...
you are always sooooo welcome my amazing friend...smiling big back at you...and you stay safe too...they said the President should be back in the White House tomorrow...muchhhhhhhhhh loveeeeeeeee you...xxoo
Comment from Ulla
Wow, this a great new chapter to the story, Sandra. Who is Tania Russel? And what is going on? The tension between her and Grant is palatable, but now he thinks she's a fraud. What is going on? Can't wait to find out.
Wonderful story, so far. I love it. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Wow, this a great new chapter to the story, Sandra. Who is Tania Russel? And what is going on? The tension between her and Grant is palatable, but now he thinks she's a fraud. What is going on? Can't wait to find out.
Wonderful story, so far. I love it. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Poor Tania isn't having a good day, is she? So, has she stolen someone else's plans?
Thank you so very much for the six stars, and for another of your fabulous reviews. You are such a good friend. Warm hugs! :)) Sandra xxx
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No she's having a nightmare of a day. But is she innocent? We'll see. Warm hugs back to you xxx
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is certainly promising to be an absorbing story Sandra. I like the way the protagonists meet and how in their minds they are hasseling for a balanced attitude. The last lines are very provocative and leave us wondering what the H...?
Ralf
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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This is certainly promising to be an absorbing story Sandra. I like the way the protagonists meet and how in their minds they are hasseling for a balanced attitude. The last lines are very provocative and leave us wondering what the H...?
Ralf
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Dear, Ralf, thank you so very much for this really encouraging review. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. How will Tania react to her accuser? Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
No, I don't believe she has tried to submit another
architect's design. Something fishy going on here. More like someone else has been plagiarizing Tania's plans.
There is an attraction going on between the two, Tania and Grant it seems. This chapter leaves us wanting more, Sandra. Good job. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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No, I don't believe she has tried to submit another
architect's design. Something fishy going on here. More like someone else has been plagiarizing Tania's plans.
There is an attraction going on between the two, Tania and Grant it seems. This chapter leaves us wanting more, Sandra. Good job. Nancy:)
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Hmm, it is a bit fishy, isn't it? The sparks will continue to fly between Tania and Grant for a while yet, Nancy. Thank you, my friend, for the lovely review. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, Sandra, that ending wasn't expected. I had no idea Grant would say that about seeing the style before. You did a great job with the details and imagery in this chapter. I had a feeling that Grant would be the one who carelessly splashed Tania with the mud . Your details about the project were great and informative.
You concluded at a crucial point that will entice readers back for more.
Respectfully, Jan
even if yours are [ isn't the one . . . ] not the ones we use.'
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Well, Sandra, that ending wasn't expected. I had no idea Grant would say that about seeing the style before. You did a great job with the details and imagery in this chapter. I had a feeling that Grant would be the one who carelessly splashed Tania with the mud . Your details about the project were great and informative.
You concluded at a crucial point that will entice readers back for more.
Respectfully, Jan
even if yours are [ isn't the one . . . ] not the ones we use.'
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Jan, for another of your lovely reviews. I'll sort that error out. :)) I was worried when I started posting this book but so far it seems to be going down well. Your review and given me a great lift. Thank you, my friend. Warm hugs. :)) Sandra
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderful story that grips my attention each time I receive notification of your post. It mesmerizes me. The characters' conversations are so natural and real sounding. Well done!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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This is a wonderful story that grips my attention each time I receive notification of your post. It mesmerizes me. The characters' conversations are so natural and real sounding. Well done!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Rebecca, I'm delighted you are enjoying this story. Your review is wonderful! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Pantygynt
Ah plagiarism rears its ugly had - not yours of course but hers according to Grant. So we are left wondering how she will counter this charge. It kept me reading with a sense of disappointment at the end that it was over. These have to be good points. Any story about an interview reminds me of the disastrous one I attended when I became stuck to the carpet which must have concealed some discarded chewing gum in its pile. A couple of points I would raise. We have two instances of 'lovely' quite close together (lovely name and lovely face) one should change easily enough, and a total of at least 24 adverbs over four pages ov double spaced typing. Given the opprobrium attached to adverbs these days I would suggest many of these could be cut completely. And you have 'knuckles' spelt as 'knuckels'.
I started to weed adverbs out recently. If you are working in Word simple do a 'find' on 'ly' and 'finding next' will take you through the majority of them.
The main thing is you have a compelling story so go for it.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Ah plagiarism rears its ugly had - not yours of course but hers according to Grant. So we are left wondering how she will counter this charge. It kept me reading with a sense of disappointment at the end that it was over. These have to be good points. Any story about an interview reminds me of the disastrous one I attended when I became stuck to the carpet which must have concealed some discarded chewing gum in its pile. A couple of points I would raise. We have two instances of 'lovely' quite close together (lovely name and lovely face) one should change easily enough, and a total of at least 24 adverbs over four pages ov double spaced typing. Given the opprobrium attached to adverbs these days I would suggest many of these could be cut completely. And you have 'knuckles' spelt as 'knuckels'.
I started to weed adverbs out recently. If you are working in Word simple do a 'find' on 'ly' and 'finding next' will take you through the majority of them.
The main thing is you have a compelling story so go for it.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you, Jim, for this great review. I've just spent some time going through them and now have 8 left. As I carry on editing through the story, some of those might disappear. This is what I like about this site, serious writers do help each other, some like the help, I do, some would rather you say how wonderful it is, and not accept that they are not as perfect as they like to think they are. To me it not only saves a lot of time (and money) to get somewhere near a polished manuscript, you learn, as well.
What you said in the beginning, and at the end, that you still think it's a good story, was so encouraging, so, thank you very much! :)) Sandra xx
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I imagine that scene on the yacht was a false start.
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Yep, I've wiped it right out now. I'm up to chapter 22 now, so I had plenty of time to sort that. I've not taken it off MS Word, it might come in useful for another story. Waste not.... :)
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Absolutely.
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The damn things creep in so easily. I got picked up the other day so now I do that check before I transfer from word to FS.
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Good tip. I'll be doing the same in future.
