Brian's book of poem's
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "fallen leaves"poetry
46 total reviews
Comment from chocoletdrop052
Just missing some points, but this read was sweet and short like it suppose to bring. Keep going, I love the autumn toning and the tune that you pen gives life to this read,
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Just missing some points, but this read was sweet and short like it suppose to bring. Keep going, I love the autumn toning and the tune that you pen gives life to this read,
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a charming poem that captures the last stage of the fall season.
After the brilliant leaves fall, the color drains away and we have dry, brown leaves that crunch beneath out feet. I love that sound and that's what your poem makes me think of.
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This is a charming poem that captures the last stage of the fall season.
After the brilliant leaves fall, the color drains away and we have dry, brown leaves that crunch beneath out feet. I love that sound and that's what your poem makes me think of.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
Comment from nomi338
This is a woeful reminder of the darkness that will soon be upon the nation. Happily the West Coast will avoid the bitter cold that often accompanies this time of year. I can put up with dead foliage, raking up leaves without the need to shovel snow. Yay!
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This is a woeful reminder of the darkness that will soon be upon the nation. Happily the West Coast will avoid the bitter cold that often accompanies this time of year. I can put up with dead foliage, raking up leaves without the need to shovel snow. Yay!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
Comment from kahpot
Haiku can have less that 17 syllables-if so it should be titled as such
4-4-4 haiku your words are great, but need to be organized, and there should not be capitols , I really struggle with haiku forms I joined a member challenge club (it is free) and lead by Gypsy Blue Rose, my understanding and efforts to writ haiku has improved in leaps and bounds****kahpot
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Haiku can have less that 17 syllables-if so it should be titled as such
4-4-4 haiku your words are great, but need to be organized, and there should not be capitols , I really struggle with haiku forms I joined a member challenge club (it is free) and lead by Gypsy Blue Rose, my understanding and efforts to writ haiku has improved in leaps and bounds****kahpot
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
Comment from mermaids
Your poetic form and use of words creates a picture of nature. When one thinks of Autumn, we forget about the leaves turning brown after they fall. Your haiku form and use of words show the Autumn season in action.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Your poetic form and use of words creates a picture of nature. When one thinks of Autumn, we forget about the leaves turning brown after they fall. Your haiku form and use of words show the Autumn season in action.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
Comment from juliaSjames
Hi
I think you have good bones for your haiku.. It's about nature. It includes a seasonal word..It paints a picture in the reader's mind..No rhyme. Under seventeen syllables.
But it reads as three separate lines. Haiku should have a connection between the first two lines with the third line being a satori or moment of insight.
Also with so few syllables to use it's preferable not to repeat a word as you have done with leaves.
I'll be happy to raise my rating if you decide to edit your post
Hope this review is helpful to you.
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
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Hi
I think you have good bones for your haiku.. It's about nature. It includes a seasonal word..It paints a picture in the reader's mind..No rhyme. Under seventeen syllables.
But it reads as three separate lines. Haiku should have a connection between the first two lines with the third line being a satori or moment of insight.
Also with so few syllables to use it's preferable not to repeat a word as you have done with leaves.
I'll be happy to raise my rating if you decide to edit your post
Hope this review is helpful to you.
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021