Conscience Calling
We are all responsible for our actions45 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good poem. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. Your message is clearly presented. The font size is large enough to make reading easy. The visual works well with your poem. If I had one suggestion, I would bring the first line one more space down from the bottom of the visual. Well-done!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
  |
This is a good poem. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. Your message is clearly presented. The font size is large enough to make reading easy. The visual works well with your poem. If I had one suggestion, I would bring the first line one more space down from the bottom of the visual. Well-done!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Hey Sandra, thanks so much your lovely review and kind words. I saw your message yesterday but didn't get a chance to answer until today. However I went in right away and moved it down as you suggested. Thanks so much for taking the time to not only read and review, but also to offer help.
So appreciated my friend!
-
You are welcome.
Comment from kahpot
There are a lot of quotes and well-meaning sayings in this wonderful read,
though sometimes telling someone what they want to hear can be the right path to take and is not always dishonest, if someone told me they are not real I would honestly say they were, they may think they are not or have been dishonest with themselves or others-yet they are still real, I really liked this read as it got me thinking, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
|
There are a lot of quotes and well-meaning sayings in this wonderful read,
though sometimes telling someone what they want to hear can be the right path to take and is not always dishonest, if someone told me they are not real I would honestly say they were, they may think they are not or have been dishonest with themselves or others-yet they are still real, I really liked this read as it got me thinking, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much my friend. I really appreciate you reading it, reviewing and mostly loved hearing your comments as they also gives me some food for thought. Thanks again!
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are humble, clear, kind, descriptive and creative. This poem gives excellent advice for having good morals, values and principals. As the author states humility is a gift from God as we pray. I liked how the author made God part of this poem. The artwork is awesome!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
|
The author's words are humble, clear, kind, descriptive and creative. This poem gives excellent advice for having good morals, values and principals. As the author states humility is a gift from God as we pray. I liked how the author made God part of this poem. The artwork is awesome!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much Harmony. I really appreciate you reading it, reviewing and mostly loved hearing your comments as they also gives me some food for thought. And knowing that we share a faith that brings this all together. Thanks again!
Comment from LisaMay
I like your poem very much; it is an effective call to our consciences and how we should be aware of our flaws, not judge others, and have more empathy and humility.
Your lines mostly get into a strong rhythm but could do with a few tweaks here and there to maintain the flow, mainly to do with syllable count, which can be variable but being consistent helps.
(In this context, it isn't 'peak', that's a mountain; it is 'peek', meaning to look.)
I've copied out your poem and made a few suggested changes, with some punctuation too (mainly to entertain myself. You might think they aren't an improvement at all):
How can you say that someone's not real?
Can you look in their soul and feel what they feel?
If you watch how they act, will that give you a clue?
If they see all you've done, does that mean they know you?
Does a different opinion make you a judge?
Does self righteousness make you not want to budge?
When you turn on your TV and watch all the NEWS
In five minutes' time have you formed all your views?
While spreading the gossip with negative smears
Is your intention to impress all your peers?
Examine yourself; take a very good look
Is a story inside, or just the outer book?
All have been guilty, there are none without sin
Open your heart, and let positives in
Take a look in their eyes and see what they see
Then peek into their heart and see their debris
Perhaps you should walk a mile in their shoes
As you live their life, your ego may bruise
Keep looking for good and you will find good
Perhaps you will find, you misunderstood
Just telling someone what they want to hear
Is not being honest, for it's insincere
It can be confusing to someone who needs
Advice from a friend, who can help them succeed
Keep your cup full; fill one who is empty
You will be amazed how you'll always have plenty
We all need God's Love and Guidance each day!
Humility's a gift that He gives as we Pray!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
|
I like your poem very much; it is an effective call to our consciences and how we should be aware of our flaws, not judge others, and have more empathy and humility.
Your lines mostly get into a strong rhythm but could do with a few tweaks here and there to maintain the flow, mainly to do with syllable count, which can be variable but being consistent helps.
(In this context, it isn't 'peak', that's a mountain; it is 'peek', meaning to look.)
I've copied out your poem and made a few suggested changes, with some punctuation too (mainly to entertain myself. You might think they aren't an improvement at all):
How can you say that someone's not real?
Can you look in their soul and feel what they feel?
If you watch how they act, will that give you a clue?
If they see all you've done, does that mean they know you?
Does a different opinion make you a judge?
Does self righteousness make you not want to budge?
When you turn on your TV and watch all the NEWS
In five minutes' time have you formed all your views?
While spreading the gossip with negative smears
Is your intention to impress all your peers?
Examine yourself; take a very good look
Is a story inside, or just the outer book?
All have been guilty, there are none without sin
Open your heart, and let positives in
Take a look in their eyes and see what they see
Then peek into their heart and see their debris
Perhaps you should walk a mile in their shoes
As you live their life, your ego may bruise
Keep looking for good and you will find good
Perhaps you will find, you misunderstood
Just telling someone what they want to hear
Is not being honest, for it's insincere
It can be confusing to someone who needs
Advice from a friend, who can help them succeed
Keep your cup full; fill one who is empty
You will be amazed how you'll always have plenty
We all need God's Love and Guidance each day!
Humility's a gift that He gives as we Pray!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
-
LisaMay, I wrote one part for exactly this reason, and my beautiful friend you passed with flying colors. The part that says don't tell them what they want to hear. That does absolutely nothing for any of us. I wrote this fast today and I should have looked closer, so I will graciously accept your suggestions and will take a look at it. I appreciate you so much right now because you cared enough to want to help. I am never too proud to want to better myself, and you my dear friend are an Angel. Your conscience must be clear! : ). I thank you again and invite you to take a "peek" at it later! 😘
-
Your response to my review suggestions warms my heart. Some people might have chewed my ear for daring to mess with their poem.
I've just taken a 'peek' and see you have made amendments. I've also noticed your poem is the best so far in the entries, so I'll be hoping for a win for you in the contest!
-
I appreciated it so much and just have to tell you why I added that part about helping someone. Last night I reviewed a little poem for someone, and I was so careful how I told her that I just wanted to help her makit the best it could be. She thanked me but never took one suggestion that could have made a difference. It was bad. Then I looked at all of her reviews and saw why she didn't take my advice, because people tip toed around it saying they hated spiders too and told her it was good. This poor young girl needed a little guidance and I never say anything unless it can really help.
But I thought why would she believe me when everyone else I suppose didn't want to hurt her feelings. So that's when I added that to my poem, because that girl was here to learn. And yes, I am thankful for your help and I struggled hard about the cover of a book part because it didn't flow, so that's why I wanted to make sure you knew that I was truly grateful.
I don't believe anyone ever gets to the point where they don't need a little help here and there. So thank you again my beautiful friend! God Bless,
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Not one of us is perfect. And no, we do not know what others are thinking or going through. Sometimes we misjudge certain people. We think they are all that and a bag of chips, so to speak. However, if we get to know them and listen to them, they have problems just like us. Sometimes we jump to conclusions. Thank you for posting. Have a great week.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
|
Not one of us is perfect. And no, we do not know what others are thinking or going through. Sometimes we misjudge certain people. We think they are all that and a bag of chips, so to speak. However, if we get to know them and listen to them, they have problems just like us. Sometimes we jump to conclusions. Thank you for posting. Have a great week.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much Carolyn. I really appreciate you reading it, reviewing and mostly loved hearing your comments as they also gives me some 'food' for thought. And knowing that we share a faith that brings this all together. Thanks again!
-
You are welcome.
