Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a fun write about organising one's funeral whilst still living! You brought some humour to your poem here and I enjoyed the sentiment and end rhymes, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

I thought my poem was on meter and someone had me change it, and it didn't feel right to me, so I went back and just now changed it back. I wish I would have caught you in time. To tell if I was even close . But you have done so many favors for me that I hate to ask. I know that I amd disclosing myself to you, but the contest doesn't mean that much to me. I have been doing the heartbeat with my reading it back to myself. Did it come to you right off the bat? Or maybe I have just written so many years what I was taught in college, that it is just hard to change. They taught it was ok to break meter in most cases, but so much is different from what I was taught. I really want to make you proud someday. So thank you for always being so helpful and kind to me. You are so special....

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

I laughed at this! It reminds me so much of my mother. She has a very warped and morbid sense of humor, too. I would also like to be buried with a night light! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Oh Jessi, thank you for the biggest laugh. I can see now that I would love your mother too. Thanks for the sweet and fun comments, my dear friend.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

I found this to be light, funny and possibly with a Mary of truths attached.

Many people do this and are very serious. In this one I got the sense of comedy.

You got me to smile...

Cheers to living a long, long time!
John

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023

Hi John, just want to let you know that I really appreciate your awesome review and your lovely comments about my funeral poem. Writing this gave me a little bit of an eerie feeling because it was starting to feel too real. However, I do have a book that I am in the process of filling out, that tells my family what my wishes are. Lol, ActuallyI would rather not think about it at all, you know ?
It does help that I am pretty confident where my journey will lead me.
Thanks again, my dear friend!

Comment from zanya

Excellent

A lovely humorous touch to this 'Tributes ' poem as envisioned by the author -the sentiments that may be expressed when a loved one passes away - thanks for seeing the funny side!

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023

I just want to let you know that I really appreciate your awesome review and your lovely comments about my funeral poem. Writing this gave me a little bit of an eerie feeling because it was starting to feel too real. However, I do have a book that I am in the process of filling out, that tells my family what my wishes are. Lol, ActuallyI would rather not think about it at all, you know ?
It does help that I am pretty confident where my journey will lead me.
Thanks again, my dear friend!

Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell

Excellent

In this poem the rhymes were good and the humor was outstanding. The meter needed some work, but it was so delightful, I found it to be excellent. I hope it places high in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Thanks Verna, can you tell me how long ago you read it? Because I just changed it because I had originally stayed with the correct meter and syllable count, but it seemed off to me, so I just came back about 5 minutes ago, from changing and thought it was good. But of course, I would trust you before anyone, my friend. So could let me know when it was you read it?
And thank you so much!

reply by Verna Cole Mitchell on 19-Feb-2023

I read it just before I reviewed it a little while ago--longer than five minutes.

reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Thanks Verna, you my dear are precious. I think I have fixed much of my meter again, but I think I have been writing one way for so long, that the harder I try, the worse it gets. A year ago when I started here, I wasn't worried about it, and I think it came more natural. Now, I am constantly worried about it. Anyway thanks again my dear friend.

reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Thanks Verna, you my dear are precious. I think I have fixed much of my meter again, but I think I have been writing one way for so long, that the harder I try, the worse it gets. A year ago when I started here, I wasn't worried about it, and I think it came more natural. Now, I am constantly worried about it. Anyway thanks again my dear friend.

reply by Verna Cole Mitchell on 19-Feb-2023

Just remember : Accent every other word, and if you start to accent the first syllable of the first word in a stanza, make the others the same. You fixed this very well! Two suggestions: it would make more sense if the third stanza line read: the ones on which I thrive--and in the 5th stanza, take out the apostrophe in kids. hugs!

reply by Verna Cole Mitchell on 19-Feb-2023

Just remember : Accent every other word, and if you start to accent the first syllable of the first word in a stanza, make the others the same. You fixed this very well! Two suggestions: it would make more sense if the third stanza line read: the ones on which I thrive--and in the 5th stanza, take out the apostrophe in kids. hugs!

reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

I sure will! Thank you my wonderful friend!

Comment from F. William Lester

Excellent

LOL! I got a kick out of this. I understand your concerns. I did notice one small detail: it's "gravesite" not "grave sight". Otherwise, a fun poem with humor I can identify with. Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest. Stay well.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023

Hello there F William, I just want to let you know that I did fix that typo earlier but love when someone cares enough to tell me, so first of all I thank you. I really appreciate your awesome review and your lovely comments about my funeral poem. Writing this gave me a little bit of an eerie feeling because it was starting to feel too real. However, I do have a book that I am in the process of filling out, that tells my family what my wishes are. Lol, ActuallyI would rather not think about it at all, you know ?
It does help that I am pretty confident where my journey will lead me.
Thanks again, my dear friend!

reply by F. William Lester on 25-Feb-2023

You are absolutely welcome. I'm glad my comments were helpful. Stay well.

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

that is very cute, AND PROBABLY NOT A BAD IDEA!!
Your instructions were spot on and could not be misunderstood by hubby. It's also a fun poem.
Everyone will love this, I know, and what I would like to suggest might not be something you want to do, but I think if you stuck to a certain meter or count, it would read more smoothly. for instance:

I'm planning my own funeral
so the fam will get it right
My husband won't know who to call,
He'll pick a dress, too tight.

Do not let Susie do my hair
She screwed it up last time
Get someone from that Fancy Kare
and on your father's dime.

Just suggetions so your count is consistant, throughout.
But cute idea and poem.
Katharine

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Thanks Katharine, you know you and I are on the same page, because I was just going to go and correct. Someone told me I had to stay with the correct syllable count, but even I have a hard time reading it. So thank you so much,, my dear friend and going right now to change. You are a sweetheart.

Katharine, I just went in and put it back how I had it in the first place. Would you mind reading it one more time and tell me if it sounds better? I will owe you big time, my friend.

reply by pome lover on 19-Feb-2023

I tell you what - poetry is personal and should reflect the author - the way he/she thinks and talks, and though I don't know (at this point :) who you are, I think it relects you and your happy sense of humor and that's what writing's all about! So stick with it.
K

Comment from Julie G1

Excellent

Well done. That is how we all would want it to be, one last tribute. This poem conveyed the message clearly. The choice of language, rhyming and imagery was effective and apt. The use of the graphic worked well too. Sort of quirky verse, keep on writing!

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023

Hi Julie, I just want to let you know that I really appreciate your awesome review and your lovely comments about my funeral poem. Writing this gave me a little bit of an eerie feeling because it was starting to feel too real. However, I do have a book that I am in the process of filling out, that tells my family what my wishes are. Lol, ActuallyI would rather not think about it at all, you know ?
It does help that I am pretty confident where my journey will lead me.
Thanks again, my dear friend!

Comment from Terry Broxson

Excellent

LOL...I saw one edit...Don't serve(d) them food. I think the night light is good, and I hope they get one of those long battery-life ones. The Bee Gees is a good selection. An excellent sense of humor, from this mystery writer. Terry.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023

Thank you Terry, first of all, I already fixed the typo so thank you for catching that. Lol, not sure how appropriate, but just kind of needed a little laugh. And granted it was a little eerie waiting it, so glad to have a little humor with it so far, as I still have to write all my wishes yet in a book, or I suppose I could just hand them the poem. Lol... No inspiration on this one, except being sick all week, but was signed up for this silly contest, and just needed something different. Thanks my dear friend, for the kind comments and spotting my error.

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Oh, my, mystery poetess, a woman should have her say and sway about these important things. I am sure you're the kind of person who has many around her that would be willing to take on these end of life things. How one lives, and our faith, is most important and will secure us in the end. (The light that never goes out.)

A fun bit of humor for this tribute prompt. I'm glad your sense of humor is in tact. ;))

Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law :)) XOs

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023

Hi Sally, I just want to let you know that I really appreciate your awesome review and your lovely comments about my funeral poem. Writing this gave me a little bit of an eerie feeling because it was starting to feel too real. However, I do have a book that I am in the process of filling out, that tells my family what my wishes are. Lol, ActuallyI would rather not think about it at all, you know ?
It does help that I am pretty confident where my journey will lead me.
Thanks again, my dear friend!