Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Everyone Has a Breaking Point"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
55 total reviews
Comment from Popcorn69
Very good story and you retold it very well. Your order of events made this very easy to follow and understand. I think most people have at least one family member that likes to be tardy all the time, in my family its me. Very good story layout, and nice even flow. I could not find any errors. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
  |
Very good story and you retold it very well. Your order of events made this very easy to follow and understand. I think most people have at least one family member that likes to be tardy all the time, in my family its me. Very good story layout, and nice even flow. I could not find any errors. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
-
Thank you, I really appreciate your review and comments.
My husband was always late for our dates and I was afraid her would be late for the wedding but somehow he made it that time.
Beth
Comment from phaedra
Welcome to the FanStory site. Enjoyed reading this post
You are right everyone has a breaking point. Thank you for posting the very humorous account of your driving irritation.
Phaedra
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
|
Welcome to the FanStory site. Enjoyed reading this post
You are right everyone has a breaking point. Thank you for posting the very humorous account of your driving irritation.
Phaedra
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece and found it humorous.
Beth
Comment from Live2Write
Well-written piece. I only noticed one nit:
innocent (of) victim of woman who had "totally lost it".
I like the build up of suspense and the descriptions. I was a little confused by the ending. I don't know if the rest of the family got into the car or if you just took off. I feel like there was all of this build up then the climax just slipped right by.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
 |
Well-written piece. I only noticed one nit:
innocent (of) victim of woman who had "totally lost it".
I like the build up of suspense and the descriptions. I was a little confused by the ending. I don't know if the rest of the family got into the car or if you just took off. I feel like there was all of this build up then the climax just slipped right by.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
-
The children and I were waiting in the car. I thought that was understood. Sorry I didn't make it clearer. Thanks for reading.
Beth
Comment from prodigal
Sounds to me like you proved your point. I am the same way when it comes to being late. My wife used to always have something to do when it was time to go. This is a well written essay and easy to follow. I enjoyed it. - Sam
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
|
Sounds to me like you proved your point. I am the same way when it comes to being late. My wife used to always have something to do when it was time to go. This is a well written essay and easy to follow. I enjoyed it. - Sam
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2009
-
Thank you Sam, I appreciate you review and comments.
Beth
Comment from jojosug
I hate being late as well and can imagine your irritation. This is a nicely written story which was a pleasure to read.
Jo
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
|
I hate being late as well and can imagine your irritation. This is a nicely written story which was a pleasure to read.
Jo
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
-
Jo, Thank you for reading and for the nice review and comments.
Beth
Comment from MaureenC
Beth, another excellent piece of writing. Have you thought of bringing all your shorts and poems into a book?
I am sure it would go extremely well. Because you create real slices of life.
Well done
Maureen
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
|
Beth, another excellent piece of writing. Have you thought of bringing all your shorts and poems into a book?
I am sure it would go extremely well. Because you create real slices of life.
Well done
Maureen
Comment Written 18-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
-
Thank you for your review. I have thoght of maybe putting all the short pieces into a book if I have enought of them.
I hadn't thought of putting the poems in the same book since they are a different style of writing but maybe it would be worth thinking about. Thanks for the suggestion.
Beth
Comment from Jazh
This is a great story, humorously told. I really enjoyed reading it. You have set the scene and built the suspense to the climax. It flows well, with just some minor spag: " a stack of Bibles , it actually" - extra space before the comma. Just checking, too, is Don your son or your husband? Did your insurance pay for the damage? lol
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
|
This is a great story, humorously told. I really enjoyed reading it. You have set the scene and built the suspense to the climax. It flows well, with just some minor spag: " a stack of Bibles , it actually" - extra space before the comma. Just checking, too, is Don your son or your husband? Did your insurance pay for the damage? lol
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
-
Thank you so much for the review and catching the extra space. I appreciate your comments. Don is my son. He was eight at the time. I should have made that clear.
Beth
Comment from Annelisa
What a wonderfully written andd entertaining story. Growing up in the south, I can relate to so much of what you said. Loved it! You didn't need that tree anyway ;)
Annelisa
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
|
What a wonderfully written andd entertaining story. Growing up in the south, I can relate to so much of what you said. Loved it! You didn't need that tree anyway ;)
Annelisa
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2009
-
Annelisa, Thank you for your review and comments. The story took place in Brandon, Mississippi near Jackson.
We didn't need the tree and I can't remember about the insurance but we must have gotten something. It probably made out policy go up.
Beth
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Beth, this is a fabulous story, which proves to me that you are in fact, human and not a saint in disguise!
I can't even pretend to be an easy going person. I am not - not by a long stretch. Most people who know me would describe me as er....'volcanic'. I get irritated, really quickly, sit on it a few minutes, then I shout and roar......and then I forget it. After all, I've said what I needed to say. I think it's called venting! The scenario you paint here in this story is one that although I cannot say I have experienced (I only learned to drive last year), I can empathise with. I can be ready to go anywhere in just a few minutes (usually less than 5 minutes). I don't wear make-up, and it takes seconds to brush my hair and twist it up onto my head. Even the necessary clothes brushing (due to 10 cats) doesn't take long. So. If I can do it, why oh why cannot anybody else! All of them. They all drive me insane with primping and prissing, and "I just need to...." or "I won't be a minute...." I also hate to be late. I like to be early everywhere if I can.
As usual, your writing is faultless, and hits a nail bang on the head - everyone will be able to identify with this piece I am sure.
Warmest wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
|
Beth, this is a fabulous story, which proves to me that you are in fact, human and not a saint in disguise!
I can't even pretend to be an easy going person. I am not - not by a long stretch. Most people who know me would describe me as er....'volcanic'. I get irritated, really quickly, sit on it a few minutes, then I shout and roar......and then I forget it. After all, I've said what I needed to say. I think it's called venting! The scenario you paint here in this story is one that although I cannot say I have experienced (I only learned to drive last year), I can empathise with. I can be ready to go anywhere in just a few minutes (usually less than 5 minutes). I don't wear make-up, and it takes seconds to brush my hair and twist it up onto my head. Even the necessary clothes brushing (due to 10 cats) doesn't take long. So. If I can do it, why oh why cannot anybody else! All of them. They all drive me insane with primping and prissing, and "I just need to...." or "I won't be a minute...." I also hate to be late. I like to be early everywhere if I can.
As usual, your writing is faultless, and hits a nail bang on the head - everyone will be able to identify with this piece I am sure.
Warmest wishes
Kat
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
-
Kat, I am more than human. I've a lot more flaws,I haven't even touched on yet and you sound like a woman after my own heart. Thanks for all the insight into what Kat is really like and for giveing me a good review.
Beth
Comment from Rain Chapman
LOL! If I did not know better I would swear my husband and yours might be related. Poor Don, I take it his still is not an adrenaline junkie? Cheers to you! As always, great story.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
|
LOL! If I did not know better I would swear my husband and yours might be related. Poor Don, I take it his still is not an adrenaline junkie? Cheers to you! As always, great story.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
-
Thank you Lorraine, I got a laugh from you review. I appreciate the comments. No Don gave up on living dangerously.
Beth
