Olivia
Daddy taught his little girl well.......49 total reviews
Comment from mbroyles2
very well done.
That Olivia, I swear, what a wicked little witch she is.
I love it.
The character development was superb, and the story moved along at a nice pace.
Enjoyed it throughly.
Michael
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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very well done.
That Olivia, I swear, what a wicked little witch she is.
I love it.
The character development was superb, and the story moved along at a nice pace.
Enjoyed it throughly.
Michael
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Michael
Survival of the fitness, me thinks! Dad was a tough act to follow...Smiles, Carol
Comment from missy98writer
Carol,
Your horror fiction "Olivia" is fantastic and very emotional. I had a feeling she killed her evil, controlling father. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I hope she gets away with the crime. I was immersed in her disposing of the body. I take it her grandmother was in on the crime. Your words make the reader understand why she poisoned him. I loved this paragraph the best:
The vehemence in his words chilled her very core. She knew she had no other choice. She made her decision and never looked back, preparing each morsel of food laced with poison. When he'd arrived to say goodbye before leaving on vacation, he'd been surprised to see the spread waiting for him. He'd laughed and said he'd known she would come around to his way of thinking. He always got his way.
A fantastic entry for the horror story contest. It reminded me of a series that used to be on TV called "Night Gallery." Your story also had a Hitchcock style to it.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Carol,
Your horror fiction "Olivia" is fantastic and very emotional. I had a feeling she killed her evil, controlling father. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I hope she gets away with the crime. I was immersed in her disposing of the body. I take it her grandmother was in on the crime. Your words make the reader understand why she poisoned him. I loved this paragraph the best:
The vehemence in his words chilled her very core. She knew she had no other choice. She made her decision and never looked back, preparing each morsel of food laced with poison. When he'd arrived to say goodbye before leaving on vacation, he'd been surprised to see the spread waiting for him. He'd laughed and said he'd known she would come around to his way of thinking. He always got his way.
A fantastic entry for the horror story contest. It reminded me of a series that used to be on TV called "Night Gallery." Your story also had a Hitchcock style to it.
Melissa.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Melissa
Glad you enjoyed it..Sometimes a person has to make a decision she knws isn't perfect, but necessary. Glad you enjoyed the story. Carol
Comment from misscookie
This ssome story I love the way you planed ech section in thestory. my best part iswith Barry white thatwas the las show Diann and I went to see and It was Barry whites last show befre he died. that was one of the songs I use to play and sing to Bernard. and Diann everynight over the telephone...... this is so weird!!! this is a great write*****************************
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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This ssome story I love the way you planed ech section in thestory. my best part iswith Barry white thatwas the las show Diann and I went to see and It was Barry whites last show befre he died. that was one of the songs I use to play and sing to Bernard. and Diann everynight over the telephone...... this is so weird!!! this is a great write*****************************
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Cookie
Glad I could bring back memories for you. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from adewpearl
Wow, she offed her own father - that will teach fathers to be evil, controlling and cruel - she chose her unborn child over this man - that is powerful stuff! A riveting story :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Wow, she offed her own father - that will teach fathers to be evil, controlling and cruel - she chose her unborn child over this man - that is powerful stuff! A riveting story :-) Brooke
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Brooke
These new muses are really putting the pressure on me..pushing me to write new ideas all the time. I am glad that you enjoyed this one. It definitely was a different line of thought than I am normally use to following. Appreciate the kind comments. Carol
Comment from Tomoso
Great stuff!
This story kept me interested from start to finish. The constant "Daddy knows best" that poor Oli had to contend with would drive anybody to patricide.
This is a very well written story with good pace.
Well Done
Good luck
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Great stuff!
This story kept me interested from start to finish. The constant "Daddy knows best" that poor Oli had to contend with would drive anybody to patricide.
This is a very well written story with good pace.
Well Done
Good luck
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Tomoso
I appreciate your kind comments. I have written numerous suspense stories in the last few days, each with a different story line. I am thrilled that the reader can find enjoyment in each one. Thank you. Carol
Comment from lola29
Carol, this story is sansational--very gripping and emotional. It's amazing how someone can be pushed to the brink. I was beginning to think Olivia was going to kill herself, and I was surprised that she instead killed her tormentor. Excellent!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Carol, this story is sansational--very gripping and emotional. It's amazing how someone can be pushed to the brink. I was beginning to think Olivia was going to kill herself, and I was surprised that she instead killed her tormentor. Excellent!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Lola
Thank you for the kind review...Guess my new muses have me grinding out the suspense at the moment. It's a relief when people say they enjoy them. Thanks for the comments. Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Carol, You are able to hold your reader on edge with any kind if story you write. I can't feel to sorry for this controlling Father. It sounds as though Grandma was in on it too. The words of the father echoing in her head was ironic. She seemed to be following his instruction while preparing to dump his body.
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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Carol, You are able to hold your reader on edge with any kind if story you write. I can't feel to sorry for this controlling Father. It sounds as though Grandma was in on it too. The words of the father echoing in her head was ironic. She seemed to be following his instruction while preparing to dump his body.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Beth
I'm glad that you mentioned his words echoing in her head. I hoped that it came across that way and the reader understood. I really appreciate your comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from wheelswrites
A powerful story and told with the vengeance it deserves. Read it once to enjoy and read it twice for editing but found no major blunders. Write on.
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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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A powerful story and told with the vengeance it deserves. Read it once to enjoy and read it twice for editing but found no major blunders. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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wheelswrites
I'm flattered..Someone reading my story twice without being bored...What more can a writer ask for...I appreciate your time and your wonderful comments. Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
Wow, this was a wonderful piece of writing. I thought that she'd just had someone ruin her party, but in the end knowing that she killed her controlling father left me aghast. Very well done. Well worth the six.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Wow, this was a wonderful piece of writing. I thought that she'd just had someone ruin her party, but in the end knowing that she killed her controlling father left me aghast. Very well done. Well worth the six.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Joy
Awesome...You are my first review and I'm stunned. I don't know what to say except thank you...This story came to me this morning and I couldn't wait to start writing it. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it and felt it worth your stars...Wow...Smiling, Carol