An Invitation
inspired by a writing prompt68 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
Lol yes we also want you to stay here Jimi. Yuo have certainly posed some interesting questions. You make me realize how many things I would also miss and shuold therefore be grateful for. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
  |
Lol yes we also want you to stay here Jimi. Yuo have certainly posed some interesting questions. You make me realize how many things I would also miss and shuold therefore be grateful for. Well done.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
Wendyanne, once again thank you so very very much. I am glad you enjoyed..jimi
Comment from NightWriter
Wow! "An Invitation" goes far beyond OUTSTANDING! Such powerful words, impeccable rhythm and perfect rhyming. It is captivating. We ll done! Bravo!
One thought as a suggestion only was this line ...
I would ask first -- How does this sound ... I would first ask
Strong and moving poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
 |
Wow! "An Invitation" goes far beyond OUTSTANDING! Such powerful words, impeccable rhythm and perfect rhyming. It is captivating. We ll done! Bravo!
One thought as a suggestion only was this line ...
I would ask first -- How does this sound ... I would first ask
Strong and moving poem.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
Nightwriter, you liked huh??? yes I think I shall change per your suggestion. Thank you thank you I am blown away..you are always such an encouragement to me and my attempts to be a poet..thank you Steve very much..jimi
Comment from Kingsland
Are you in or out?
What's the decision devout?
In curling of visions so stout
Render unto me your shout
Let it ripple and soar
Through the annuals of a mountain's roar
To this inception, I really do implore
God is all the descriptive, and then some more
I feel it in the calm breezes, of the ocean's shore
In the gentle sound waves
While spelunking in a cave
Climbing up a mountain side
Is all the current rage
You ask of the God-like to view
Puppies and softly fallen dew
But we are all here for the sake of love
In peacefully recurring thoughts above
I am just enamored with your poetic thoughts
So I wrote for you these poetic thoughts of wrought
John Allen Kingsland
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
Are you in or out?
What's the decision devout?
In curling of visions so stout
Render unto me your shout
Let it ripple and soar
Through the annuals of a mountain's roar
To this inception, I really do implore
God is all the descriptive, and then some more
I feel it in the calm breezes, of the ocean's shore
In the gentle sound waves
While spelunking in a cave
Climbing up a mountain side
Is all the current rage
You ask of the God-like to view
Puppies and softly fallen dew
But we are all here for the sake of love
In peacefully recurring thoughts above
I am just enamored with your poetic thoughts
So I wrote for you these poetic thoughts of wrought
John Allen Kingsland
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
Kinglsand, thank you so very very much..hey I love spelunking cave....jim
Comment from missy98writer
jlsavell,
Exquisite art work and color presentation. I love the title 'An Invitation.' Brilliant writing and lovely spiritual message. Excellent rhymes, great narrative. I like your use of metaphors: 'oceans of dark crystal blue', 'Earth's fluid deep', and 'paradise into mankind's heart' just to name a few. I especially love the stanzas:
Can you hear dazzling grandiose glaciers break with a boom;
or the lone feral wolf baying at the gleaming moon?
Can you see the caramel sunrise in morning's hued grace;
or the lambent glow of moonlight in your heavenly place?
Can you taste seasons with expression that visit once a year,
from golden cider Falls to Summer's zesty cheer?
Do you have music, soft music, that soothes the savage soul;
like Beethoven or Mozart, your genius they extol?
How about children chasing red kites bellowing in the wind;
laughing as kites' colorful tails would climb and descend;
or carnivals with bright lights and spinning carousels;
full masted giant ships that magically set sail?
Amazingly awesome poem you've penned. I'm impressed by your use of extol. Thanks for sharing your fabulous spiritual verse. . .Melissa!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
jlsavell,
Exquisite art work and color presentation. I love the title 'An Invitation.' Brilliant writing and lovely spiritual message. Excellent rhymes, great narrative. I like your use of metaphors: 'oceans of dark crystal blue', 'Earth's fluid deep', and 'paradise into mankind's heart' just to name a few. I especially love the stanzas:
Can you hear dazzling grandiose glaciers break with a boom;
or the lone feral wolf baying at the gleaming moon?
Can you see the caramel sunrise in morning's hued grace;
or the lambent glow of moonlight in your heavenly place?
Can you taste seasons with expression that visit once a year,
from golden cider Falls to Summer's zesty cheer?
Do you have music, soft music, that soothes the savage soul;
like Beethoven or Mozart, your genius they extol?
How about children chasing red kites bellowing in the wind;
laughing as kites' colorful tails would climb and descend;
or carnivals with bright lights and spinning carousels;
full masted giant ships that magically set sail?
Amazingly awesome poem you've penned. I'm impressed by your use of extol. Thanks for sharing your fabulous spiritual verse. . .Melissa!
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
missy98writer, thank you so very much once again..I am so glad you enjoye my poem. It is a different spin..I know..but life is for living and living abundantly with all the beauty around us...again thank you ...jlsavell
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a marvellous piece of
spiritual verse, my friend -
no other word for it - the
content unique, the flow
to the words and rhythm throughout,
excellent for such a long piece.
All in all, most impressive, and
deserving of a six.
A real pleasure to review.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
What a marvellous piece of
spiritual verse, my friend -
no other word for it - the
content unique, the flow
to the words and rhythm throughout,
excellent for such a long piece.
All in all, most impressive, and
deserving of a six.
A real pleasure to review.
Margaret.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
Margaret Snowden, oh goodness I do not know what to say. A six and such praise from a phenomenal artist in her own right humbles me truly. thank you so very very much...jlsavell
Comment from spellbound
What splendor!
Flows smoothly from one question to the next. Never to tire of the beauty you present.
Well written and thought out.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
What splendor!
Flows smoothly from one question to the next. Never to tire of the beauty you present.
Well written and thought out.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
spellbound, thank you so very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed my poem so much. I appreciate you and the time it took to read and review this lengthy piece..again thank you..jls
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is absolutely adorable. It was fun and easy to read. My question would acutally be, "God, I know you don't make mistakes, but why did you bless me, of all women, with five sons. I love them all very much, but I am a girlie girl, not a Tom boy."
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
This is absolutely adorable. It was fun and easy to read. My question would acutally be, "God, I know you don't make mistakes, but why did you bless me, of all women, with five sons. I love them all very much, but I am a girlie girl, not a Tom boy."
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
barbara wilkey, thank you so very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed my poem.. Five sons..wow..I have five children too.. but 2 daughters and 3 sons...again thank you..jls
Comment from Amfunny
ahhahahaa... very nicely done. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem and I found it absolutely delightful. Great writing and I agree... I want to stay right here. :)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
ahhahahaa... very nicely done. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem and I found it absolutely delightful. Great writing and I agree... I want to stay right here. :)
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
Amfunny, thank you so very much. I appreciate your time and your review..jlsavell
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, a wonderful picture, i like the sentiment of your poem to remind people of the good things on earth, but i think heaven will be better. wonderful poem though
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, a wonderful picture, i like the sentiment of your poem to remind people of the good things on earth, but i think heaven will be better. wonderful poem though
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
sweetwoodjax, thank you once again for stopping by. I appreciate you very much..jlsavell
Comment from Deejharrington
What a wonderful expression of all the joys in the universe. I would ask the same questions. There are so much to see and enjoy here on earth, that I would be hesitant to leave it behind before I can experience all I can. A terrific read,
dj
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
|
What a wonderful expression of all the joys in the universe. I would ask the same questions. There are so much to see and enjoy here on earth, that I would be hesitant to leave it behind before I can experience all I can. A terrific read,
dj
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
-
D.J.Harrington, I am glad there is someone else who would ask the same. Earth is a splendid place, if man will just realize what a precious gift it is and work collectively and diligently to take care of it and preserve life and life force.again thank you..jlsavell
-
you're welcome
deb