Walk In The Dark Forest
Ivan sneaks off the school bus55 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
"A bad wolf or a bear might be in there." (Are there any other kinds of wolves other than bad ones? I am teasing, this made me smile.)
I enjoyed reading your cute children's story. He should never have gotten off that school bus. I hope his mom has a talk with him.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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"A bad wolf or a bear might be in there." (Are there any other kinds of wolves other than bad ones? I am teasing, this made me smile.)
I enjoyed reading your cute children's story. He should never have gotten off that school bus. I hope his mom has a talk with him.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I'm glad you detected a bit of humor in this little story. Thanks for your comments and for doing a review.
Comment from glpar
Wonderful and delightful is what I have to say about this story. Great imagery and ending. I don't see any problems with structure etc. I have a brother who lives in Alaska and wouldn't want to live any other place in the world. Good writing. I'll look for more from you.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Wonderful and delightful is what I have to say about this story. Great imagery and ending. I don't see any problems with structure etc. I have a brother who lives in Alaska and wouldn't want to live any other place in the world. Good writing. I'll look for more from you.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I appreciate your comments and the fact that your brother lives happily in this state. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your story Alaskastory. I thought this was cleverly written and well thought out. I'm glad mum came to the rescue and saved him.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I enjoyed reading your story Alaskastory. I thought this was cleverly written and well thought out. I'm glad mum came to the rescue and saved him.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thanks so much for your sweet comments and for taking time to review this little story.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alaskastory, i enjoyed reading this little story about the adventurous little boy who was getting scared of the noises he heard, then heard his mother and probably got more scared because of her punishment
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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this is very well written, alaskastory, i enjoyed reading this little story about the adventurous little boy who was getting scared of the noises he heard, then heard his mother and probably got more scared because of her punishment
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I appreciate your summary for this little story. Thanks for the comments and for doing a review.
Comment from Allezw2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS15ACUhTww
Horst Jankowski's intrumental from 1965 - "A walk in the Black Forst".
Lady Alaskastory,
A nice little tale.
Harks of Tchaikowski's "Peter and the Wolf".
Nicely done,
Fantasist
For your consideration, or not:
- take a big sniff of air and [stomp] my [boot] across the street.
Perhaps:
- take a big sniff of air and stomp(ed)(in) my boot(s) across the street.
A simple rewrite could shed a few more words and clarify the statement as well.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS15ACUhTww
Horst Jankowski's intrumental from 1965 - "A walk in the Black Forst".
Lady Alaskastory,
A nice little tale.
Harks of Tchaikowski's "Peter and the Wolf".
Nicely done,
Fantasist
For your consideration, or not:
- take a big sniff of air and [stomp] my [boot] across the street.
Perhaps:
- take a big sniff of air and stomp(ed)(in) my boot(s) across the street.
A simple rewrite could shed a few more words and clarify the statement as well.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thanks for the suggestion. I made it sound like only one boot --too wierd. I appreciate you review.
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Well, dang it lady, if you didn't put it out, how would we have the opportunity to frolic in another person's universe?
Comment from kiwisteveh
Cute suspense story suitable for younger readers - you build up the tension nicely but stop short of real scary.
PS As I was reading I remembered that I never got to the end of your Denali story so I had to go and get that finished too! Great job on both.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Cute suspense story suitable for younger readers - you build up the tension nicely but stop short of real scary.
PS As I was reading I remembered that I never got to the end of your Denali story so I had to go and get that finished too! Great job on both.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Very good of you to review this little story. And I especially appreciate your effort to finsh off the mountain climbing one. Thanks so much!
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I`m guessing this is a part of a book?
It`s well written and supplies enough adventure and hidden fear, but without more to the story or additional chapters it`s almost disappointing as if the reader bought into the whole concept before she got a chance to chew, let alone savor or swallow.
If it is a story on its own, I`d suggest the child goes right into the forest, regrets her©his decision as fears arise, noises, shadows, diminishing daylight, perhaps even the risk of taking a wrong turn, then end it exactly as you have.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I`m guessing this is a part of a book?
It`s well written and supplies enough adventure and hidden fear, but without more to the story or additional chapters it`s almost disappointing as if the reader bought into the whole concept before she got a chance to chew, let alone savor or swallow.
If it is a story on its own, I`d suggest the child goes right into the forest, regrets her©his decision as fears arise, noises, shadows, diminishing daylight, perhaps even the risk of taking a wrong turn, then end it exactly as you have.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I was sort of thinking of a picture book that always have illustrations as a big part of the story. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very cute story, and I enjoyed reading it. I could just see that little boy thinking he is so brave and big and then his bravado fails. Mom is there to rescue but he knows he's in trouble. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Very cute story, and I enjoyed reading it. I could just see that little boy thinking he is so brave and big and then his bravado fails. Mom is there to rescue but he knows he's in trouble. Great job.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Shirley. So glad you did a review on this little story. Marie
Comment from amarherig14
The picture depicts the story.I guess you left some things for the reader to figure out and I did. Annie,Ivan's friend from school warned him not to go into the woods. The mother did not see her child getting off the bus so she figured that he was waking home.She went to look for him at his favorite way to go home Very good story.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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The picture depicts the story.I guess you left some things for the reader to figure out and I did. Annie,Ivan's friend from school warned him not to go into the woods. The mother did not see her child getting off the bus so she figured that he was waking home.She went to look for him at his favorite way to go home Very good story.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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How great to read your interpretaton. You sure got all the points. Thanks a million for the review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
In rating this, I understand that this is children's fiction. And so written for a child. I think a child would love this story, but may be left wanting more! The tension starts to build really well, then shuts down a little too quickly. Maybe you could expand on it - it has great potential.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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In rating this, I understand that this is children's fiction. And so written for a child. I think a child would love this story, but may be left wanting more! The tension starts to build really well, then shuts down a little too quickly. Maybe you could expand on it - it has great potential.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thanks for your suggestion. I appreciate your time in doing a review.
