Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Moonshine"A collection of my children's poems
80 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, it is definitely full of nonsense that comes together to make a big of sense but i had fun reading it. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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this is very well written, mystery writer, it is definitely full of nonsense that comes together to make a big of sense but i had fun reading it. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from ravenblack
Funny- and prone to inducing a headache and a nosebleed. The best nonsense makes sense and this one had it's own logic. No night on the moon but the pirates are from the dark side of the moon ( oh, by the way, which one's Pink). Don't know how you managed to cross Wallace and Grommet with Monty Python, but you did, and for that you owe me an ibuprofen.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Funny- and prone to inducing a headache and a nosebleed. The best nonsense makes sense and this one had it's own logic. No night on the moon but the pirates are from the dark side of the moon ( oh, by the way, which one's Pink). Don't know how you managed to cross Wallace and Grommet with Monty Python, but you did, and for that you owe me an ibuprofen.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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One Ibuprofen coming write up!
Now, there's a couple of characters I've never been compared to before!
Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
Humorous and inventive. Clever characters. The story is full of fun with intrigue and resolution. The format and rhymes make this an enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Humorous and inventive. Clever characters. The story is full of fun with intrigue and resolution. The format and rhymes make this an enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from NicciFaye
Now those are truly some names and character. And holy crap batman what a story. This is a awesome write with a muse on the moon. I truly enjoyed this...
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Now those are truly some names and character. And holy crap batman what a story. This is a awesome write with a muse on the moon. I truly enjoyed this...
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2013
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Thank you, NF
Steve
Comment from sunnilicious
You are quite descriptive. This is a wonderful poetic piece that is very creative and dripping with visual imagery. Nice flow of rhythm and rhymes. Exceptional work.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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You are quite descriptive. This is a wonderful poetic piece that is very creative and dripping with visual imagery. Nice flow of rhythm and rhymes. Exceptional work.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Sunni!
Steve
Comment from rjuselius
haha. lol. the funny nonsense piece of poetry can be strewed as a children's poet as well. i love all the names you have called the characters!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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haha. lol. the funny nonsense piece of poetry can be strewed as a children's poet as well. i love all the names you have called the characters!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Rebekka.
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is absolutely marvelous, a perfect entry for this contest. That rhyme scheme is spot-on, the metering so suitable for the topic - what a fun poem! Best of luck!!!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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This is absolutely marvelous, a perfect entry for this contest. That rhyme scheme is spot-on, the metering so suitable for the topic - what a fun poem! Best of luck!!!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Dawn!
Steve
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My pleasure!
Comment from Darkhorse555
oh this i read once then fell down the words singing thinking this is just an extremely beautiful piece of writing really enjoyed
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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oh this i read once then fell down the words singing thinking this is just an extremely beautiful piece of writing really enjoyed
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much!
Steve
Comment from Sagnik Das
Now, having perused such a MASSIVE, whimsical, & 'incoherent' piece of extravagant gibberish, little remains I presume, for the stupefied reviewer to depose, save this : THIS IS SUFFICIENT TO DRIVE ME INSANE WITHIN A FORTNIGHT!!!
Here at last is a genuine work emanating from the very core, I can say, of a 'profoundly' imaginative heart, which I think you most duly possess -- with a unique narrative style that reminds me more of Lewis Carroll & his famous poem in the 'nonsensical' genre, namely "Jabberwocky" ( do refer to that immortal work of his, for better clarification in this regard, if you please )....
The best aspect I deem admiring in this uniquely descriptive 'revelation', is its vibrant eye for capturing - that too, with meticulous elaboration - the sundry bouts of wayward nonsense, that can irritate a 'Gentleman' within less than a minute, marked by lucidity of style & imaginative expressiveness ....
Fraught, in creative touches of Romanticism, the very first line, in itself proves apt enough to hold sway, even over a carefree reader, manifesting thereby, its 'entranced' appeal all through :
" Wow-Wow and Grizzly and Grumpy and Fat
All lived on the moon in a wee council flat,
With a moon-dog, an alien, Grumpy's old mother,
A whatchamacallit, a something-or-other
A wizard, a warlock, a pirate or two
And a wrinkled old warthog escaped from the zoo..... " - LOL, yes VERY lyrical & nonsensical! seems as though you are incumbent to sweep me off my feet.
It paints forth an elaborate scene, marked by graphic revelations, upon the vividly mundane & suggestive backdrop of life (or so I 'analyzed' [though this is way over my head!!]).....
Sublime as it is (despite being a 'nonsensical' poem_, the select choice of epigrammatic diction, you so brilliantly ascribe, deems commendable appraisal ; tends to glide evenly along, with perfect pitching in rhythmic cadences, which in turn, lend to the work a vitality of its own .... ( bewrays the inner 'poet' in you ).
Though much bereft, to depose frankly, of the higher, matured devices of what I call 'artistic poesy', your work is yet, in every way magnificent - its greatest merit being in the concise portrayal of your innermost sensibility, characterized by mirth & ORIGINALITY. You herein take the liberty to 'pour your hearts out', & this is precisely the aspect that wins me over.
Thus, to infer candidly, it is the "uniqueness of coherent sensibility" I find in your work, which makes me to like it so much indeed.
Well done, mystery writer - you have a 'bright prospect' ahead with this ........ one as I can conspicuously foresee ......... LOL!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Now, having perused such a MASSIVE, whimsical, & 'incoherent' piece of extravagant gibberish, little remains I presume, for the stupefied reviewer to depose, save this : THIS IS SUFFICIENT TO DRIVE ME INSANE WITHIN A FORTNIGHT!!!
Here at last is a genuine work emanating from the very core, I can say, of a 'profoundly' imaginative heart, which I think you most duly possess -- with a unique narrative style that reminds me more of Lewis Carroll & his famous poem in the 'nonsensical' genre, namely "Jabberwocky" ( do refer to that immortal work of his, for better clarification in this regard, if you please )....
The best aspect I deem admiring in this uniquely descriptive 'revelation', is its vibrant eye for capturing - that too, with meticulous elaboration - the sundry bouts of wayward nonsense, that can irritate a 'Gentleman' within less than a minute, marked by lucidity of style & imaginative expressiveness ....
Fraught, in creative touches of Romanticism, the very first line, in itself proves apt enough to hold sway, even over a carefree reader, manifesting thereby, its 'entranced' appeal all through :
" Wow-Wow and Grizzly and Grumpy and Fat
All lived on the moon in a wee council flat,
With a moon-dog, an alien, Grumpy's old mother,
A whatchamacallit, a something-or-other
A wizard, a warlock, a pirate or two
And a wrinkled old warthog escaped from the zoo..... " - LOL, yes VERY lyrical & nonsensical! seems as though you are incumbent to sweep me off my feet.
It paints forth an elaborate scene, marked by graphic revelations, upon the vividly mundane & suggestive backdrop of life (or so I 'analyzed' [though this is way over my head!!]).....
Sublime as it is (despite being a 'nonsensical' poem_, the select choice of epigrammatic diction, you so brilliantly ascribe, deems commendable appraisal ; tends to glide evenly along, with perfect pitching in rhythmic cadences, which in turn, lend to the work a vitality of its own .... ( bewrays the inner 'poet' in you ).
Though much bereft, to depose frankly, of the higher, matured devices of what I call 'artistic poesy', your work is yet, in every way magnificent - its greatest merit being in the concise portrayal of your innermost sensibility, characterized by mirth & ORIGINALITY. You herein take the liberty to 'pour your hearts out', & this is precisely the aspect that wins me over.
Thus, to infer candidly, it is the "uniqueness of coherent sensibility" I find in your work, which makes me to like it so much indeed.
Well done, mystery writer - you have a 'bright prospect' ahead with this ........ one as I can conspicuously foresee ......... LOL!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Sagnik, thanks for the thorough review and all the kind words - I appreciate the time and effort you put into reviewing my piece.
Steve
Comment from Irish Rain
and they tangoed til twilight neath tropical trees....my favorite line in this all around delightfully silly poem! good luck in this contest!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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and they tangoed til twilight neath tropical trees....my favorite line in this all around delightfully silly poem! good luck in this contest!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Jo
Yep, I thought it deserved a nice happy ending.
Steve