Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The Dark Of the Moon"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from amahra
What a beautiful poem and tribute to the fallen. I really loved the poem and felt your heart in it. I even liked the font you used. The rhythm was steady and the rhyming didn't seem forced at all.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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What a beautiful poem and tribute to the fallen. I really loved the poem and felt your heart in it. I even liked the font you used. The rhythm was steady and the rhyming didn't seem forced at all.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a poem of those final moments above ground. This alone can be the perfect setting to reflect on one's achievements as well as taking responsibilities.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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This is a poem of those final moments above ground. This alone can be the perfect setting to reflect on one's achievements as well as taking responsibilities.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Sanku
This is really from the heart .a very touching poem in which the persona is a soldier who has given his life for the nation.steady rhythm suits well for this military theme .it is a sad topic and you have done an excellent work.He is describing his own funeral and the sound of bugle -very touching.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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This is really from the heart .a very touching poem in which the persona is a soldier who has given his life for the nation.steady rhythm suits well for this military theme .it is a sad topic and you have done an excellent work.He is describing his own funeral and the sound of bugle -very touching.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from hari anand
Glimmering stars reflect tears on your face: unique and creative line.
I loved the thought of describing one's own last journey.
beautiful rhyme scheme flows well like feet of fellow soldiers march past to salute and bid adieu.
picture you chose is so perfect for your poem.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Glimmering stars reflect tears on your face: unique and creative line.
I loved the thought of describing one's own last journey.
beautiful rhyme scheme flows well like feet of fellow soldiers march past to salute and bid adieu.
picture you chose is so perfect for your poem.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from flamingstar
Great job with such a painful subject.
I have some suggestions that occurred to me as I tuned into the rhyme - subtle changes that support the rhythm -
like changing "on mine" to "against mine" in line 3,
"My brothers transport me to my resting place" in line 8;
"The bugle, it whines as taps pierces the sky" in line 9
and then change "deploy" in last line to "goodbye" for a closer rhyme with "sky." Let me know what you think!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Great job with such a painful subject.
I have some suggestions that occurred to me as I tuned into the rhyme - subtle changes that support the rhythm -
like changing "on mine" to "against mine" in line 3,
"My brothers transport me to my resting place" in line 8;
"The bugle, it whines as taps pierces the sky" in line 9
and then change "deploy" in last line to "goodbye" for a closer rhyme with "sky." Let me know what you think!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
This truly is a 'writing from the heart'. Great Job. It's very well written and expresses your feelings perfectly.
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Hello there~!
This truly is a 'writing from the heart'. Great Job. It's very well written and expresses your feelings perfectly.
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from emrpoems
They will always be remembered. If every single mother raised objection to their boy going off to war maybe just maybe there would come an end to it
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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They will always be remembered. If every single mother raised objection to their boy going off to war maybe just maybe there would come an end to it
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Poet,
A touching and eloquent ode to the fallen hero. As an old soldier I always appreciate reading words such as these as I watch all the men of my generation pass on. I do find though that the lines:
Six of my brothers carry me forward, my resting place,
The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky,
breaks from the otherwise excellent metre of the poem. Can you revisit them? It would be worth it.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Dear Poet,
A touching and eloquent ode to the fallen hero. As an old soldier I always appreciate reading words such as these as I watch all the men of my generation pass on. I do find though that the lines:
Six of my brothers carry me forward, my resting place,
The eerie whine of this bugle, taps pierces this sky,
breaks from the otherwise excellent metre of the poem. Can you revisit them? It would be worth it.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Val Crisson
This is a very interesting piece regarding love and the closeness of military (or those that actually serve). So few do really serve anymore, that touches my heart. I sense a very entwined group of emotions. None the less, this was a great read. I have a son in the military, and my husband also served. Touching.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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This is a very interesting piece regarding love and the closeness of military (or those that actually serve). So few do really serve anymore, that touches my heart. I sense a very entwined group of emotions. None the less, this was a great read. I have a son in the military, and my husband also served. Touching.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from kleck140
You say it best to remember the soldiers who have given
their all for the freedoms we have and enjoy every day.
It brings to mind the sheer joy of sharing the Honor Flight
with the soldiers as they come back home from the trip to
Washington DC. Well Done...
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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You say it best to remember the soldiers who have given
their all for the freedoms we have and enjoy every day.
It brings to mind the sheer joy of sharing the Honor Flight
with the soldiers as they come back home from the trip to
Washington DC. Well Done...
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you
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You are most welcome!
